Wednesday, February 28, 2007

oh......ok then........^^
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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

i think that i have a girlfriends for the day. yuki is my gf till tomorow, so that is all good. actually we just joking around but it still funa dn now i am in detention for skipping at some point in time at a place that is not here because i would not be in class if i was skipping coo coo head!!!!anyways, yea, i jsut dunno what to say. day is ok, nothing too special. been doing really weird stuff today.

me thinks i miss my person from far away except same name as far away but not that far away. tis kinda funny. i really dunno what to say no mores on this thing because i can never write what i am feeling no mores just for the simple fact that i just can't do it and whatever, it no matters no mores, jsut the simple fact i think i am going to go on my other now and write my fucking heatrt out. oh yea, i deleted it. haha, i guess that because i cant have a secret one no mores and im sorry for swearing, i did not mean to be so mean though ithnik i swear alot on here, i shouldn't so i think i will try tos stop it only really when i am mad, anyways, i am going to go now because i am in detention and not supposed to be on here so what does everyone think/like/whatever about shakespear?
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today is okay day. nothing too special. i realized i am very very very close with my parents. i love it. they yell at me and give me many rules, but that cuz they love me. sometimes, i think that everyone should have parents like mine because iknow lots of people who their parents just don't care about them and that makes me sad. i wish i could share my parents with my pumkin.........he might even think they is kewl!i mnea, rebel like me, probably, but still, alot better then now. ihope.......i no cares if nobody undertands or cares what i is talking about , or that my typing is really bad, i just wanted to say that because i really wish i coulkd share my parents with Pumkin.

I misses mika. i hopes she comes here tomorow, like she asked. anyways, see everybody laters. i am at school now so i can't stay on long. byebyes!!!!
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Sunday, February 25, 2007

just leave me the fuck alone. is that too fucking much to ask? everybody jsut leave me alone!
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tis making me better. i don't know why. it scares me, because tis just as strong. i think i knew it before. i think i was denying it. now, i don't know if i will be able to. they are different now. i will keep trying to keep it the way it is for as long as i possibly can. summer brings hope, but also takes hope away.....
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Saturday, February 24, 2007

what reason is there to hold on if there is a promise of such release if we let go? what reason is there to fight for every signle breath if the last breath is the intake of the sweetest air? what reason is there to keep your heart pumping and pumping with pain when it calls for rest and resoration and peace?
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Friday, February 23, 2007

dont fucking know what to do no mores. everything is messed and at same time so differently peacelike on the outside. like as if the numbness goes all the way through my body, but misses my heart, and leaves it there raging inside of me like wildfire in the middle of a fucking ocean or something. i dont know. that doesnt make sense, i know, but i dont care. i mean, i think, what i want at moment, is a girlfiriend. i know that sounds weird, cuz it wouldn't fix anything,. but guys jsut don't get it. so yea. i dont know. jsut va t'ends.
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Thursday, February 22, 2007

can i not say what i feel anymore/ i guess i should go into hiding then? well, fuck you. i don't want to go into hiding about this. you can go fuck yourself for all i care, because thats all you like to do. its all you ever do. that and other poeple. so go to hell and die! i am not going to hide this anymore! you are a fucking coward! you fucked it up yourself!
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Wednesday, February 21, 2007

time can bring you down.time can break your heart. he awas not there today when i wanted him to be. that is a good thing, i think, because tis better that i do not depend on others. otherwise, had a good day i suppose. i fucked up. several times. i skipped class. two of them actually. brett sais i am not oficcially a bad ass until i get suspended, but i don't think i wanna do that. lol. either way, tis well enough today i suppose. spent most of the day not myself, and the rest of the day just in a daze. whatever. no matters. either way, tis all just life i suppose.
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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

i can't fucking believe i fucking did that! how could i let that slip? what is the matter with me? is this really happening? or is it all in my head. was it really like that? or am i making it up? please, god, i hope that is the truth. but at the same time, it hurts so much already, if it does end up being realized. fuck! it would work anyways. i am the one who messed it up! they are gone now! sand its my opwn fucking fault what the fuck is the matter with me? i am the one who pushed them away, i am the one who made them leave i should not be like this now. i dont fucking understand! was it just because of the time? or was it real? oh god, if it was reall..........i dont fucking know what to do and you mother fucker i am not going to do it i hate this! why did this happen now? why could it not have happened before? when i still had chance? they are gone! they are gone for good! i messed up and now they are gone. i don't fucking know what to do. i can't even fucking think of it anymore. please, god, give me the strength to keep on hiding. i just don't know what to do. i dont even know if it is real. i don't know what to do......
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