Friday, March 31, 2006

i've had an interesting day up to now. i got to play tag! and then i got to play hide and seek with my brother^^. anyways, i've had an interesting morning, and pretty soon i'll have to get ready for work. that should be pretty fun too, as always. i think Raechel is coming to my work today hopefuly. i know i've said that before, but i realy hope she does come, i haven't seen her in like forever!!!lol. anyways, see you later people^^have a nice day.

ps:i got to meet the famouse alexis finally! for some reason or another, talking to alexis made me wanna see my dad again. fuck, i'm weird. byebyes, love ya!
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Thursday, March 30, 2006

hullow everyone. haven't written here in a while. i had the most wonderful sleep in a long time. i just wanted to write that because it was really just wonderful^^i know this may not be interesting, but i don't care.
another thing i wanna write about, but i know nobody will really be interested or care about. lol. i had the best time today out to lunch with my dad and jus. dad is a border services officer^^i asked him what his job was called and now i finally know the official name. makes me very happy. i miss him already. i know i always bitch about him, but i lvoe him so much and i miss him like crazy. this is the first time i see him in a few monthes. it used to be is saw him almost every weekend, but now it different. i haven't even been to his house since....christmas??/?no, i think i was at memere's and pepere's at christmas, so sometimes before that. whatever. long time from now. anyways, yea. thats pretty much all i wanted to say i think. oh yea, wanted to say that i miss everyone, especially greg and raechel and trav and kairo and everyone!!i can't name them all right now, that mean i have to use my brain. i dont wanna get a headache before work. lol . anyways, i'd better go. byebyes
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Thursday, March 23, 2006

you just don't get it. ou never will.
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Tuesday, March 21, 2006

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Monday, March 13, 2006

my headache has been coming back again. since yesterday. it's here now. oh well, not the end of the world i suppose. i slept from about 11 to 6:30-7:00. i still did not want to wake up. i don't get that. i slept all night, yet, i still feel exausted, as if i didn't get any rest. i got in trouble by my geo teacher for sleeping in class today. except i wan't sleeping. i wish i was. i was only lying my head on the table while she talked. i mean, i couldn't see her anyways, since i took off my glasses to try and make my head a bit better. whatever. the person i am most worried about is greg. he sleeps alot less then me. he is good at hiding it. that's what worries me. i can't tell if he feels more tired then usual, or if he got any rest at all. i want him to get rest.

Raechel came over yesterday. fun. watched a movie and a half, and went on pc. we made oddening food. it was fun.

i am having alot of trouble in multi media at moment. i can't seem to make this movie work properly. whatever. anyways, byes
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Saturday, March 11, 2006

i made things go wrong, ever since i was born. i make things go wrong here, before, now, everywhere. i feel like dying. i tried again, to cut, but i didn't. i probably would have if i could have found a blade. things are going al wrong again. with everything. not only with him or anything, it about everything. i want to run away again. i want to cry again. this hurts. more then it used to. i have't cut. i wanted to, very much. i didn't. i make things go so wrong. i'm just a fuck up. stay the fuck away from me!
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Friday, March 10, 2006

please, i don't want you to get hurt please i just want you to be happy. this doesn't change how much i care about you, nothing ever will. please just don't get hurt, don't feel sad. oh god, i was so stupid, i should never have done it. i want you so much to get better and get happy for real and no more lies and no more bullshit and nothing. oh god, please make him happy. i really wish for him to be happy. i wish that more then anything else in the world. i just want him happy. fuck, i should never had done that and never should have said any of it. fuck i was so stupid. i want him to get better. i'd give anything for him to be happy, for real.
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Thursday, March 9, 2006

i can'T breath. this hurts. my chest feels like it's under a car. please help them. all four of them. it won't happen. it can't ever happen. i'm scared. this hurts. i want it back. make it go away. it's like a dream now. i miss it very much. please help them if u can. they really need help. they don't say it. they are lying. i have to go. please...
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Wednesday, March 8, 2006

i want so much to give up. i won't , but it's tempting. this is so hard!!!
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Tuesday, March 7, 2006

it begining to get a bit better. i am no longer scaared as much. i still scared, just not as much. it good i suppose. i still pretty confused tho.
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