Monday, August 1, 2005

he is joining the army. im going to miss him so much. he is joining in a year, and after that, i may not ever see him again. only my heart will know what i felt for him in reality. all of you say that its just make -beleif, but i kno that it cant be true. he's taken a peice of my heart, and i dont think i'll ever get it back.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Friday, July 29, 2005

   yupyup, i is here with friends now and is been herer fer several days now and mika, come back so i can get ure lip pierced! anyways, yupyup, justw riting cuz got nothing better to do at moment and msn aint working, dunno y. is being jack bitch. hope everyone is having a good summer!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, July 14, 2005

i em to learn egyptian dance!
someone i knoe is to teach me and i cant wait. i kno a little already but i not very good yet. this is awesome!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, July 2, 2005

i miss my friends soooooo much. i miss my friends from school like mika and colin and lizbef and everybody. there arfe only a few other people i miss. i miss alex most of all. i miss having someone to sing with. same for josh and clinton. i wish i could be there with them. i wish i could bring love with me. sigh. i miss everybody!!!!!! meh, i guess im just having a bad day. oh love, i miss you soo much.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Monday, June 27, 2005

im going threw some really weird new fases.
Comments (0) | Permalink

Thursday, June 23, 2005

i know it wasnt a mistake. im happy and yeah. im sorry i got all weard
Comments (1) | Permalink

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

was it a mistake? i mean, it seemed like the right thing to do, the only thing to do, but by showing my feelings once more instead of hiding them like i should have, i've ruined absolutely everything. i hate myself more then any other person on this planet and i just want to die. i ruin everybody's life and now, as usual, the one thing that makes me happy besides the thouht of killing myself is leaving me, just like everybody else. death is definetly starting to look friendly. why do i always mess things up? i try to hide what i feel because it always messes things up. maybe i should have stayed with him, maybe i made a mistake. he was greater then anyone i ever met, he was so caring and gentle and happy, i hate myself for hurting him. i should have pretended and kept going. my feelings fuck every godamed thing up! i did not love him but i still should have stayed with him. i should have hid everything inside, the way i always should have done. i should just fucking commit suicide, so that maybe there will be a chance of happiness for the people i care about. why am i so fucking weak? why cant i just do it? i tried today, cutting myself. i couldnt do it!! what the fuck is the matter with me? im a fucking plague on this earth! a fucking virus, a disease! everyone i care about leave. and when they cant leave, they live forever in misery and hatrid. its a fucking know fucking fact!
Comments (1) | Permalink

there is something wrong with me! i want to hurt myself! i want to die! i dunnow why! this morning i was the heppiest person ever and now im so depressed it not even funny! i hate myself soo much! i should be jumping off a bridge into a river of lava or sharp pointy rocks or something. once again, my stupid fucked-up feelings gwet in the way of true happiness! once again, all i want to do is cry and scream and fucking kill myself!
Comments (0) | Permalink

Saturday, June 4, 2005

   hullow! i had interesting time last night. anyways, its getting harder and harder not to say something that for some reason, i always feel like saying and im not gonna cuz i cant for him. anyways, im having a great day. watching old odd movies and i wanna be robin hodd's daughter like william of lancaster!!!! lol. anyways, cee you guys laters oi guesssssss.
Comments (1) | Permalink

Sunday, May 29, 2005

   wow!!!
Comments (2) | Permalink