Saturday, May 21, 2005

   I spent the night at my master's house lastnight! twas hilariouse. We went to his house for like i dunnow how long then we went back to master's house then yeah. he walked us home. twas very interestingly awesomelike walk. anyways, we watched something thats crap but werent really paying attention. we were basically being bored and talking and sitting and yeah. we were gonna sleep in Travis's room but twas too hot so we went to her room good thing too, cuz greg was to sleep in Travis's room and apaently, yesterday i was dressed like a slut and when i was lying down in Travis's bed and Master open door and found me half-dead, i looked really naked. twas sooooo funny. if greg would have walked into there with me sleeping and looking naked and mika sleeping beside me, would be very funny. yeah, we fell asleep in odd way after too, me and my master. her arm was high up on my waist, her face barely inches from mine. I started to sing cuz i just do that out of nowhere. i had a song in my head so yeah. she fell asleep to me singing and twas soo funny cuz i had to keep from laughing cuz her breath was tickling my cheek. anyways, yeah. we woke up today at like 12 and stayed in bed till like 12:30 ish then yeah. we walked halfways to the mall to go c a movie the we walked back and then yeah. we changed out mind. then we went back to her house, watch x-men and basically wrestled on her bed for the whole movie. then Adame called and i got to meet him over the phone. twas sooo awesome. then i went home and now here i em. so yeah, i just wrote all that cuz im bored and not allowed out of the house. byebyes peoples
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Friday, May 20, 2005

   okay so yeah, im bored out of my mind. im in math which is once again in info class. im so totally bored. i hope he goes on soon , my otaku i mean. i should have let him know i em in info right now with absolutely nothing to do but math stuff that i dont git. so yeah. i have scum after. i wish twas snot, like before. snot is so much more interesting then scum i think. things get blown up lotz more. in scum, tis nothing but maps and stuff, borring. i wanna take ancient egypt and rome and grèce and all that kinda stuff but that wont happen till like s3 or sumthing like that. i hope i can just like skip scum next year then take scum only in s3 without having toi take it in s2. s2 and s1 scum is so boring. anyways, yeah. Now im just waiting bordedly for something interesting to happen. oh yeah! i tried to do the winmx thing to yeah but count figure it out so now i have different programm. mika know what i speak of. yessssss. yesterday i went to mika`s for like 38 minutes and twas fun and i may be able to go to her house fer a sleepover this weekend i hope. i really hope so so then we can like stay out till like 11 outside again and then we gonna watch down periscope and then passion of the christ and i dunnow, were just gonna watch movies till all hours of the morning and then yeah. i almost fell asleep in her bed yesterday. oh! and i met Greg yesterday too!!! Her big brothr greg i mean. He looks soooo much like Travis expcept older and different hair. tis soooooo awesome. they stood beside one another like to see wich one was taller and they looked so much alike twas so awesome! aneyways, yeah. i hope i can see him this weekend. Greg i mean. wait, i mean Greg like not mika`s brother, wait, they both mika`s brother. okay, lemme try this again. Greg, then one that is mika`s brother but not by blood. bloddd blood blood. i really like blood word. aneyways, im real bored and i have nothing to do so if i can figure out how to take this post off, i will. im gonna try and get a picture too. there is a picture i really want but it never works. ohwell. see you later.
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Wednesday, May 18, 2005

   i feel so depressingly meh today. not hyperactively hyper nor saddeningly merderouse. I dunnow why. I still wanna cry lotz and i got not mad but a little annoyed at peice of shit popular people today. you know what i realized? cuz i dont. lol. so yeah, im in math class right now and were using computers for some sort of thingagigger. i dunnow. i got bored so yeah. we have a sub today. most of the people in this damned class are being so mean to him. aneyways, yeah. i wanna have some food. i think the most i`ve had in the past two days, or all i`ve had, is for breakfast yesterday, a banana, then two granola bars and a pudding for lunch, then a little spagetti for supper at like 9 yesterday night. then another banana this morning, then two bites of a granola bar(i shared it with lizbef and chantal)) then thats it. but that okay cuz i broughty money to school for a littl lunch today. lol. aneyways, yeah. i wish he would stop talking bout thoses things. not the stupid food thing, just the other thing. i cant speak of it at the moment for my own reasons. i just wish i could go home or actually, no. i wanna bring home here, to me, then make home meet city. that would be awesome. ahhh, my dream come true it would be. actually, thats not true cuz i dreams alot of being captured by pirates or something l9ike that and then actually no, not exxactly captured, like first live in a big house, with a firned of mine, then shoot a guy who is being an ass to her(in ways i cannot say) then run away to a cave, then escape and become a pirate, still running away from an old fat guy who wants to marry me to inherit my father`s fortune and yeah, i just read the rest fo my posts, holy shit im boring! lol. aneyways, i dont really care cuz that means nobody will read it wich mean i can just speak the truth. yay. aneyways, yeah, i had lotz of ood dreams bout becomeing pirate or soething like that. whatever. byebyes pepl, still in math class and gonna be lunch once the bell rings and i cant wait cuz then i get to spend more time with him! maybe i should tell him of the cards. lol.
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Sunday, May 15, 2005

i dont know what is makign me what to cry! i dunnow what is wrong with me. i can't stand it! the damned lying. i hate every damned thing that comes out of their mouths! i wanna use that damned knif! the problem is, when they speak of only me, when im not there, they say the truth! godammit! i hate everybody right now! but what i hate more is me!
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Great! he hates them and i hate that!
too amy damned lies! i hate lies and i hate this! i hate secrets! was having a wonderful day dammit!now it sucks! i wish i could disappear.
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If aneyone gives a shit, wich i know thy dont, i have had a wonderfully imaginative day. First, i traveled through the realm of time and became a beautiful princess(yeah right, me beautiful) and did the whole faerie tale thing where i was a tavern wench that had been beaten my whole life, was now twenty and aparently a princess they had lost or something and yeah. then, i watched finding neverland and was completely mezmerized by the brilliance of the story. before i wacthed that tho, i had some family time thing. aka, me and mom and glenn played rummoli and yelled at eachother playfully and glenn won and one of the best times ive had this month. reminds me lotx of home. okay so now, i have an odd feeling of urgency to kiss my evil demon, wich is odd, cuz, i mean, i always wanna kiss him, but this is different somehow. just wanna be round him and see him smile. and i now realize im getting ever so dorky! lmao. aneyways, if aneyone know the answer to this question, please let me know: what is the name of the crevis-type thing that is between your two collar bones?
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Saturday, May 14, 2005

I thought i had gotten over this! I still want to do nothing but cry! more and more frequently. Why can't he hit me? why can't he just hit me and get it over with? Why can't i make him smile? why can't i ever make aneyone happy? either of them! all of them! i can't make either one of them smile dammit! i wish someone would hit me right now. just puch me, over and over again. or hit me with a stick, a broom, a peice of wood, aneything!!! why can't he hit me? either of them! im too damned weak! can't someone make me strong again? why does it seem i was much stronger as child, when people were not hesitant about hitting me? goddammit i want them to hit me again so badly. especially him. god i wish he could love me. i wish he could feel something either than hate towards me. i can feel my heart hardening. my blood turning cold. why wont i just die now and get it over with? why wait until im older and experienced so many more years of unhappiness and misery, hate and sadness. i dont want them to hit me, i only want him to love me. i want all of them to feel something either then hate or pity towards me. all of them! i must go now.
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Wednesday, May 11, 2005

More lies! always more lies. Had a not the best day but purty good anyways. I fell asleep in scum and pinched mika's face and cheeks and twas funny in scum. then in music i found a spot to tickle her neck. tweas real funny. so yeah, talking to travis right now. then i gotta go deliver flyers, again. zzzzzz. anyways c ya people later.
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005

too many poeple are fucking lying! everybody is lying!!!! Godammit i hate this so much. Why isnt anyone ther ewhen you need them? Godamed peice of shit! I hate all the lies. i need news! People's t'v's are on and people are going on the computer!!!! im still really pissed
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I have a headache!! I had a headach for more then 13 hours and i took enough tilenol to tranquilize a horse but my head still really hurts. my mommy wont let me take any more cuz she said if i take any more ill have to go to the hospital cuz im not allowed to take more then 2 every 4 hours and i already broke that rule. lol. tilenol doesnt work! im going to sue the company. anyways, im trying to figure out how to put in a pic in this site!
it doesnt work! ohwell, ill figure it out. thinking of him as always. i had a good/great/bad/miserable/lazy day/ lol. anyways, im gonna go now popelwezs byebyes
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