Saturday, March 17, 2007

6 hours of waiting. another six coming?
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aaron always makes things better.......new way of tho......hehe......i cut my own hair.......tonight, i mean.....i put layers in it......i'm all proud of myself for it.......^^
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Friday, March 16, 2007

why am i so stupid as to always let my hopes go up?! aaron is right. there is no use trusting people. especially not yourself!

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

please help me i dont want this to happen i dont want to be alone but i do so badly what is the matter with me? why can i not just leave things to be happy? i just dont know what to do anymore. please, just work some of your magic on me pumkin, and make me happy. this hurts so much i want to cry and cut and scream but i cant please just help me get my smile back please, i dont want anyone's help but yours, if your there....
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Tuesday, March 13, 2007

im becoming more and more like you every day, but at the same time, i am getting less and less like you. you dont understand! why are you never there when i need you?! he was very helpful. i think, i would like to have him as a friend. i think, today, i like stanbgers the most. i have talked to a few today, and i very much enjoyed all of their company, whether it was five minutes, or close to an hour, i would have liked to spend more time with all of them. they seem to relate more to me then many.....most.....
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Monday, March 12, 2007

still laughing in hysteria. left out. silent. like it that way. dark. light. broken. doesnt matter. good day. i like being alone again. i missed it alot more then i thought. social outcast. isolation. freedom. silence. tune out. nothingness. numb. absorbed. wonder. imagination. silence. lots of silence. happy. ish.
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Sunday, March 11, 2007

i think this counts as a good day....
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Saturday, March 10, 2007

i think i messed up.......again
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oo, baby i love you, every day. yeah yeah.

morning is such a curiouse time. everything can change so fast. i can wake up having the worst morning of my life. wake up from a haunting nightmare. or wake up, feeling numb. wake up smiling, still being able to distinguish the light stinging in my wrist. still being able to feel a heat-like sensation rising up and throughout my body, from that very place where the night before, i tried to expell all the cold from my heart. or i can wake up feeling completely rested and ready to take on the world. again. but , if you really think about it, how many days do you wake up with one feeling, and go to sleep that night with the same feeling? i hope tonight is one of thoses few occasions for me....
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Friday, March 9, 2007

well then....i think i am a little tired today....but still good i think....whatever......
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