Monday, January 29, 2007

just hold me now. can u see me? your all that i want. i miss how u used to tickle me. i miss you so much dad. why dont u ever call? why dont u ever write or visit? u are never here. less and less i get to see you i miss you so fucking mucha dn i hate you but i love you so much u are so important to me why cant u see how much i love you? why cant u see how proud i am to have u in my life? why cant u let me be part of your life like u are of mine? i am yours and yours only and i love you so much and please come back i miss you and i dont want u to leave one day and i wont ever see you again im sorry i am such a fuck-up please just accept me for who i am i cant be a perfect daughter im sorry i dont like the other two i will try i promise jsut please come and see me and smile at me for once please i dont want to be alone anymore i dont need anybody else if i have u there dad, just please come back i miss you so much please stop saying goodbye and stop avoiding me do you even think of me half as much as i think of you every single day? i miss you so much and i love you and please, jsut stop breaking my heart.........


if only they could understand just once. contemplating everything u ever said. see you later. i see your fantasie. now thats over. your decision to hide. back off, ill take u on. i know that u are wrong. do you know my name? if i saw u in heaven...would it be the same? if i saw u in heaven? .....i must stay strong to carry on. cuz i know i dont belong in heaven. please just dont leave me anymore i just want to be by your side. desperate for changing, starving for truth. chasing after you. im falling even more in love with you. letting go of all ive held on to. im only here with you. forgetting all im lacking. ill take your invitation, you take all of me. im falling even more in love with you. letting go of all ive heald on to. there is nothing else to loose. there is nothing else to find. there is nothnig in the world that can change my mind. there is nothing else.....starving for truth. closer where i started. chasing after you. im falling even more in love with you. letting go of all ive heald on to. im standing here until u make me move.

a young woman in a enchanted forest singing to herself. in love, with the woirld she was. talking to the trees, graceful as a dove and feirce as a lion, but gentle as a deer. one day, she fell upon a little well in the middle of the forest. magic, it was, but she did not know that until she took a drink from the little well, and it swallowed her whole and brought her to another little world. she was in the middle of a city, a place she had never thought was possible. there were colors she had never seen, and sounds and tastes she wa unfamilliar with. there were people all around her, and she then realized how simple she must look to all of them, but she didnt care, for she was in aww of this zstrange new place, and could not drink in enough of the new colors and sounds surrounding her, she walked and explored the city, but it never seemed to end. finally, beside a big willow tree in the middle of a beautiful green garden, she found a well jsut like the one she had found in the forest what seemed like years ago. she sat on its edge, and pulled on the rope, and took a drink, once more and was swallowed and magically brought back into the same forest she was blissfully traveling in only this morning, though it had seemed years from then.....



what do you think of this non-sense? i think it is all bullshit. never fucking mind i suppose. live, love and die a horrible painful death for what u think is true, but usually turns out to me even omre bullshit.....
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