Tuesday, January 30, 2007

what the fuck is the matter with you? why do you keep doing this to me? a few fucking seconds of talking to you and my heart is broken once more. we said our sorry goodbyes faster then it took me to pick uop the fucking phone and dial your number. i miss you so much. you are elaving afgain, going with your fucking family, to cuba for two fucking weeks. oh, how i wish i could be with you, and only you. i want to travel the world. i dont fucking need you. why do you keep doing this to me? i dont need you. please stop this. i hate you. i dont want u in my life. stop breaking me! its hurts so fucking much why cant u just leave me alone. at least when u dont call for monthes at a fucking time, it saves the trouble of saying theses sorry goobyes. a fucking three minute phone call is the only contact ive had with you for two fucking monhtes it seems. what is the matter with me? why cant u fucking like me even just a little? dont u ever just want to talk to me? about nothing even. i dont fucking care. i just hate you so much stay out of my life, stop going away for so fucking long then coming back for a few minutes, jsut to break my fucking heart again. i feel so broken, every time. i feel like my entire world shatters every time u leave, and when i finally start to rebuild it again, i walk in the door, and mom tells me you've called. i try to keep my walls up, and i try to keep my guard up, but once i hear your voice i already know what is coming. i just dont want this anymore. i love you so much and i hate you please just stay out of my life this hurts so fucking much i jsut want to die how can i go through so much without even a thought of crying, how can i take on my own and everybody else's fucking life, but when u call for two fucking minutes, i want to break down and just die what the fuck is wrong with me? why cant i just let you go. please ust stay out of my life. please dont leave again. i dont want u to go. i dont want to say goodbye. i dont want this anymore. please just come back. come see me and talk to me and please just like me a little bit im sorry ia m such a failure and im sorry i cant make u proud i just want to be with you. i dont want to be alone anymore. you are the only one i want please come back i miss you so much stop leaving me!!!!!! please stop saying goodbye stop making me break i want to be strong, like you. i dont want to break why cant u stop this? why cant i let you go, please tell me whats wrong with me. i promise i will change. i will do everything i can to change if u would just look at me and smile. please come see me i havent seen you in so long i miss you i hate you so much stop coming back unless you are going to stay i fucking hate you i want to die. i would die for you just to smile aat me, i would slit my wrists open and let my body bleed every drop of fucking blood just to see you fucking smile jsut please stop hurting me i want u to smile at me please......
Comments (0)