Wednesday, September 19, 2007

there are so many things happenining, its hard to keep up. i am not even talking about work and school, though i am having trouble with them both aswell. everybody has something happening in their life. i am torn between wanting to go to travis, and trying to help him, and leaving him alone and not causing any trouble for him. i dont know what to do, and i worry every day about it. i wish i wasnt so useless sometimes...

aaron is working just as much as i am lately. more, actually. i think that he can handle it, but i dont like the look of that slow walk or the bags under his eyes. luckily, he only is like that some of the time.

josh has so much drama. i cant really explain it any other way. drama. so much is always happening and aparently its my fault for part of it, though he wont admit it. i never thought i was that bad, but i guess they thik i am even worse.

it kinda didnt surprise me of them, because i had already known this about them, but it did surprise me of greg. i mean, i have hated him for a while, and he knows it, but i didnt expect this at all. but i am happy for him now, because he has a new beautiful gf. that will be good for him^^

you know, everyone i know hates the other person i know. i really dont get it. they didnt even know eachother before me. like what the fuck? leave eachother alone for christ sake. i don't get it at all. i have no problem at all with travis. i have no problem at all with aaron. i have no problem at all with greg and i have no problem at all with josh. anyone else i should have a problem with? i dont think any of them have a problem with greg C-P. maybe th3ey do, i dont fucking know. i get the fact that some people are just not meant to get along, but this is going a little bit overboard, doncha think? should i jsut give up? is that what they are telling me? should i just leave and stop trying to be happy, so that they could all be happy, killing eachother for no good reason. ...sigh...whatever. too early in the morning to think about this.

i know i have no reason to be, because of who he is, but i am a little worried about greg C-P. he doesnt sound all that happy, but then gaain, i am not the best at reading people. i just hope he is ok. i never see him no mores, and last time we hung out i was all bitchy and stuff, so it barely even counted. i jsut hope he is ok.

there is much more i want to write about, like why i didnt get a particular phone call, and who it is i would like to get in touch with, a nd why it is i cant look into their eyes without revealing this, and much much more of that sort, but i think it may be a little bit too depressing for morning. dont want to make everyone have a bad day. i love you ALL, no matter what you think. you are all amazing creatures that deserve no less then to be happy, though i don't think any of you think that way. fucking pesimists. hehe jk. i hope everyone in the world has a wonderful day today, one that might give your heart some rest, and maybe help you move on to the nest thing you have to work out, but move on with a true smile of the heart, and loveing thoughts in your mind. maybe one day some of you will realize how amazing and beautiful the world is. if you haven't already, that is.
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