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Friday, December 25, 2009


well, merry christmas :D

i am very excited to be going to bc on jan 1st. i am also ver proud that i have remained faithful to him. it did not require a second thought, or the least bit of effort. i know its not such a big thing for anyone else, and it really is not such a big thing for me. especially not anymore. although i am not sure if people can guess but i have gotten a little more mature. i was just surprised at the lack of effect travis has on me now. i mean i stilll love him the way i always have, but he cant make me forget the world anymore. i love eric very much, though i am not sure to what end yet. i have loved before, and though it has not felt like this as of yet, every love is different. i hope this one is real, and i hope i have the strength in me to work at it if things get rough. why do i always run away? at least that is what people are teeling me.....i thought i stayed around pretty long and tried to help i think every relationship i had. kurtis? i gave that boy numerous chances, and he never did stop drinking or take my threats of leaving him seriously. not that i mind drinking. eric probably can drink jsut as much as him. but there are responsibilities to come first. either way, i am not getting into that tonight. hope eeryone had a good christmasa :)

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