|
myOtaku.com
• Join Today!
My Pages
• Home
• Portfolio
• Guestbook
Contact Me
E-mail
• Click Here
Vitals
Birthday
• 1990-11-08
Gender
•
Female
Location
• winnipeg
Member Since
• 2005-04-04
Occupation
• Receptionist
Real Name
• Kationok
Personal
Achievements
• Been to Hell and back
Anime Fan Since
• 2001
Favorite Anime
• princess mononoke, dragon booster, spirited away, inuyasha, ect...
Goals
• Live my life to the fullest
Hobbies
• Adventure seeking, reading, driving to unkown smokin up and listening to music
Talents
• Adaptability and Strength
|
|
|
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
I can't seem to get past the lump in my throat. I wonder if maybe, I am afraid to be alone? I mean, I havent slept next to a man since I've been with David, and thats almost two monthes now. But Oleg has been talking to me regularly, telling all sorts of sweet romantic nothings. Last night, I told Oleg, that if he is never allowed back in the country again, I dont know if I will ever be able to be with him. I dont want just another boyfriend, I want a man that will make me happy for years to come, who will support me through my career, travel the world with me, and be as romantic as Oleg is, with the same loyalty. Am I stupid for putting my foot down? I mean if our love is real and strong, it should not matter that he is not allowed herre. I dont want to live here anyways. But when I date next, I want that man to eventually be my husband, and how can I even start to believe that our relationship will last when I cant even bring him home.
I dont know what to do. I dont know why it hurt so much for David to tell me he is dating someone else, but it did. Probably because she is half my size and fucking beautiful like a model. I just really wanna jump off a bridge today, or curll up into a ball and cry on my mans chest. oh wait. I dont fucking have one! ugg probably for the best, im not sane enough for a man right now.
It just feels like any guy I have interest for, im not good enough for. Im not good looking enough, not sane enough, dont have enough money. I dont sacrifice enough. Im just not enough. I dont even have a fucking teddy bear to hug right now.
And its absolutely rediculous. All I want to do is a big fat hollywood line of coke, and I havent done it in monthes. David sais, your stronger than that, you got away from that shit. meanwhile he did it last tuesday. thats probably how her met her. I wonder what makes her so much bettter than me. i mean, other than the obvious amazing figure and beautiful face. I just wanna cry myself to sleep for a week, and cuddle with the first man I see. Not gonna happen though. Im stronger than that, right? bah! fuck my life
Comments
(0)
« Home |
|
