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Birthday
• 1990-11-08
Gender
• Female
Location
• winnipeg
Member Since
• 2005-04-04
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• Receptionist
Real Name
• Kationok

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Achievements
• Been to Hell and back
Anime Fan Since
• 2001
Favorite Anime
• princess mononoke, dragon booster, spirited away, inuyasha, ect...
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• Live my life to the fullest
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• Adventure seeking, reading, driving to unkown smokin up and listening to music
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• Adaptability and Strength




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myOtaku.com: ange-noire


Saturday, May 14, 2005

I thought i had gotten over this! I still want to do nothing but cry! more and more frequently. Why can't he hit me? why can't he just hit me and get it over with? Why can't i make him smile? why can't i ever make aneyone happy? either of them! all of them! i can't make either one of them smile dammit! i wish someone would hit me right now. just puch me, over and over again. or hit me with a stick, a broom, a peice of wood, aneything!!! why can't he hit me? either of them! im too damned weak! can't someone make me strong again? why does it seem i was much stronger as child, when people were not hesitant about hitting me? goddammit i want them to hit me again so badly. especially him. god i wish he could love me. i wish he could feel something either than hate towards me. i can feel my heart hardening. my blood turning cold. why wont i just die now and get it over with? why wait until im older and experienced so many more years of unhappiness and misery, hate and sadness. i dont want them to hit me, i only want him to love me. i want all of them to feel something either then hate or pity towards me. all of them! i must go now.
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