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myOtaku.com
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Birthday
• 1990-11-08
Gender
•
Female
Location
• winnipeg
Member Since
• 2005-04-04
Occupation
• Receptionist
Real Name
• Kationok
Personal
Achievements
• Been to Hell and back
Anime Fan Since
• 2001
Favorite Anime
• princess mononoke, dragon booster, spirited away, inuyasha, ect...
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• Live my life to the fullest
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• Adventure seeking, reading, driving to unkown smokin up and listening to music
Talents
• Adaptability and Strength
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Wednesday, June 22, 2005
was it a mistake? i mean, it seemed like the right thing to do, the only thing to do, but by showing my feelings once more instead of hiding them like i should have, i've ruined absolutely everything. i hate myself more then any other person on this planet and i just want to die. i ruin everybody's life and now, as usual, the one thing that makes me happy besides the thouht of killing myself is leaving me, just like everybody else. death is definetly starting to look friendly. why do i always mess things up? i try to hide what i feel because it always messes things up. maybe i should have stayed with him, maybe i made a mistake. he was greater then anyone i ever met, he was so caring and gentle and happy, i hate myself for hurting him. i should have pretended and kept going. my feelings fuck every godamed thing up! i did not love him but i still should have stayed with him. i should have hid everything inside, the way i always should have done. i should just fucking commit suicide, so that maybe there will be a chance of happiness for the people i care about. why am i so fucking weak? why cant i just do it? i tried today, cutting myself. i couldnt do it!! what the fuck is the matter with me? im a fucking plague on this earth! a fucking virus, a disease! everyone i care about leave. and when they cant leave, they live forever in misery and hatrid. its a fucking know fucking fact!
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