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Birthday
• 1990-11-08
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• Female
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• winnipeg
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• 2005-04-04
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• Receptionist
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• Kationok

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• Been to Hell and back
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• 2001
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• princess mononoke, dragon booster, spirited away, inuyasha, ect...
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• Live my life to the fullest
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• Adventure seeking, reading, driving to unkown smokin up and listening to music
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• Adaptability and Strength




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myOtaku.com: ange-noire


Thursday, August 18, 2005

i've not cried in ages until then. i don't know what has come over me. i refuse to change in my own room. im scared of being alone. i can feel my friends sliping away from me to be with someone else. they do not know it, but i do, for i have seen it all way to many times before. i think i am falling out! i never thought that would happen, at least not this year! i think its having something to do with my being scared all the time now. i can't be walking outside without looking over my shoulder. i can't sleep without having checked all around me. i keep seeing it, replaying it in my head. it seems so real. i don't understand it! i am not scared of him! well, im not supposed to be scared of him. why can't i get the terrible thoughts from my head? they seem so real. like when you have a dream of falling, and wake up to realize you are fine. just like that, except i never wake up! i just keep falling! and i can see it alll the time! it wont leave me alone. i'm so scared. i don't want to be in the house alone, i don't want to be in my room or the basement at all. i hate this. there is nothing to fear bout him. for christs sake! he could be seeping mad and raging and i still would not be afraid of him. so why am i afraid of him now? no. im not afraid of him. im afraid of the way he has changed. for, someone like him could be very dangerouse without what he seemed always to have. he actually seemed to have lost it! i didn't think it was possible for him. i don't know what to think of him anymore! just another guy? no. other guys don't scare me half to death by just being normal. oh, i don't understand this! i have made a gravee mistake. i am now paying for it. i can take care of myself. i don't need anyones help or interfearance. i can do it all myself!
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