Monday, September 12, 2005

so yea, in pc class right now. bored outa my face. had a little fun in choire but not much this time cuz we barely did nothing. i wanna sing!!!!. lol. anyways, yea. i learned how to changre my password! im soo happy! yea! lol. anyways, yea. i am learning to hate school and everybody in it. that kinda odd since i used to love school more then almost anything. lol. oh well. so yea, mika i think is begining to worry adame or soemthing with all her kiddingness. she meeted a hot guy appaerntly. lol. i was making fun of her in gym and at lunch. he gotz blue hair so i wanna meet him cuz i already met guy with blue hair and kno guy with blue hair but other one no have name and i love them both but one of them i dont kno only a guy that work at a place wh4ere i git my shirt and he talked to me and meggie alot and yea, not making sence. oh well, it no matter cuz nobody reads this anyways so i can say anything i damn well please so fuck you! haha. so anyways, i haveing odd kind of fun today at skewl. i going to see mme.witickerr aftr school then going to library to git me sum books cuz i miss books, i have none no more cuz mmika borrow all of them and i get bored now not reading and i need to escape before i go crazy again so yea, i mean, if i reading, then im not thinking about things. then if i not thniking, i not sad. anyways, yea. i goina go git me sum books and this is making no sense cuz nobody reading it anyways but i dont give a fuck! so yea, my dad called last night to say hi. i hate him. actually, no i dont, but i cant help saying it. i love him so much and i cant stop my heart from breaking everytime i even think of him. i want him back! i kno that sounds selfish but i dont give a fuck cuz nobody reading this anyway! i want him to love me again, if he ever did that is. i was too fucking young to kno the difference! i hate this! he didnt even say he wanted to see me and i havent seen him in like 2 monthes! god what the hell is the matter with me?! i shouldnt care! he was never there before so why the fuck should he start n? it makes no sense! d fucking dammit! i hate this and i want to go home. no i dont want to go home. i want to go to hell! fuck, its all i deserve after what i did to him. fuck i hate myself for lying and i wish i could take it all back. oh, whatever. i fucked up my life, and now i gottaa fiz it.
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