Monday, September 19, 2005

i doubt that the person i am about to speak of will read this, and i doubt that if they do, they will know i speak of them. i am sorry. i think there has been a misundersanding or something. someone told me you were mad at me because of something i wrote on this site aboiut you, about being mad at you or something. well, if that is so, then there really has been a misunderstanding. there is only one post about me being anything near mad at you, and there was something really wrong with me when i wrote it. i was not thinking clearly and i should not have said anything of the sorts. but, just so you know, most other posts that give away anger, are not about you. they are about someone else. and i can't really explain it right now, but if u really do read this and know its about you, then i can tell you in person. about the other posts i mean. or anything. i still feel i can tell you anything, although alot of my friends tell me i should hate you. wich i find odd since i stil think you should hate me. you know what i find a little funny? one of my friends, one who sees you almost every day at school, she sais she is deadly afraid of you and hates you. she asked me, do you ever talk to him or hang out in the corner when he there? i always say well, talk to him, not as much, but i wish i could. and hang out in the corner, yes. she asks me, but dont you hate him, i mean, arent you scared of him? i say no. he is a great person and i was stupid for ever being the slightest bit scared of him. i find that funny. i mean, she is scared of you, because she doesn't know that there is nothing to be afraid of. i know i am probably being foolish saying that, for it is a fact that you could hurt pretty much anyone, mentally and physically. fuck, you could probably kill someone like me without breaking a sweat if you wanted to. lol. i don't know why im not scared of you. i guess it's from the feeling of being around you. i guess that doesnt make any sense if u dont know what i mean, and i can't really explain it. basically, it's a pretty large part of why i loved being around you all the time, why i wished that i was with you when i wasnt. i guess this still dont make much sense, and i doubt it ever will. well, i know that i probably spent alot of my useless time writing this for no reason. nobody reads this, and you havent written on your site since the start of this month, i think anyways. i guess ill see you at school.
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