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myOtaku.com
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Birthday
• 1990-11-08
Gender
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Female
Location
• winnipeg
Member Since
• 2005-04-04
Occupation
• Receptionist
Real Name
• Kationok
Personal
Achievements
• Been to Hell and back
Anime Fan Since
• 2001
Favorite Anime
• princess mononoke, dragon booster, spirited away, inuyasha, ect...
Goals
• Live my life to the fullest
Hobbies
• Adventure seeking, reading, driving to unkown smokin up and listening to music
Talents
• Adaptability and Strength
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Wednesday, November 23, 2005
he is right. it was wrong. but, he does not know it all. the same thing was done to me afterwards, but worse. and i have learned my lesson. my feelings for him are unconditional. he thinks he knows everything. he knows some, but definetly not all. how can someone know me when i do not know myself? he sais there are still things unknown, well, i think there will always be. when he told me what i know now, i did not tell him what it did to me. still does. i know know what i did. i am truly sorry. i think, that maybe , if i had stayed there, then i could have fixed it. sometimes i think this anyways. other times i know why i did not stay. he always sais the same, always acts the same, but completely different. i can't tell if what he is speaking if the truth or not. i used to beleive everything anyone said. i think i'm finnally starting to learn a little. he thinks he is lying to me. i want to beleive that he is wrong. but after what i've been told, i'm not completely sure. i pretty sure i'm sure though, if that makes any kind of sense, but i still have a subtle doubt in my mind.i want to stop. i never want to do it again. before, i mean, before it all happened, i felt so safe. caged and tied, yes, but safe and wonderful and content. now, i feel happy and more myself and real. if only i could have both...it won't hapen though. it ended, and this will end someday, and then i will leave and not come back for whatever time i choose. when i did it, i felt nothing. devoid of emotion, feeling, passion. it gave me nothing but trouble and confusion. that is what is different now. passion, emotion. i know there is a chance that it is all a lie, a dream, but it still makes me feel like i am......somehow.......sigh...anyways, i am going to go. if u are smart, you will not pay attention to what i wrote. it's only mindless typing, thoughs in my stupid little head. goodnight.
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