Saturday, June 10, 2006

dont fucking tell me i have no idea you fucking ass hole! you have no idea what i feel, neither does anyone else. if i had no fucking idea, then why the fuck would i be using every fucking bit of self-controle every fucking day to keep from cutting huh? no. fuck you. i dont cut. i dont cry. and i dont trust fuckers like you anymore. you can say what u want. i did care. i still do. all i wanted was for you to get heppy. well, you know what? fuck you. i told you so many times. you never listened. u have to get out of your own little world and start living in ever one elses! it doesnt fucking revolve around you or me anymore alright?! fuck! you have no fucking idea! you really are dense! fuck you then! go join the army, find a gun and kill yourself! you think that i sounds like i dont care now? well guess what? at your funeral, ill be the one hiding behind a gravestop trying to controle my breathing while i cut myself over and over again, thinking of this very converstation we just had. go to hell, if you want. say whatever you want. but dont ever fucking say that i dont care about what happenes to you, you fucking jerk! i wont talk to you anymore. u told me not to. fine. doesnt mean i will forget this. find yourself a life already alright? do something with it. dont just sit around and feel sorry for yourself. i dont care. i know u are getting mad already. dont fucking care. u make me mad every fucking time u talk to me, whether you know it or not. its like listening to a smoker tell me that they wanna stop smoking, but they cant. you are a fucking idiot! wouldnt be fucking surprised if u started smoking. u already drink, cut, whatver it may be. doesnt fucking matter. u can go ahead and take the coward's way out. go shoot your brains out. but dont think that it will go unoticed by me or anyone else. your family loves you like crazy, and you will break their heart. but you know what? it doesnt matter . what do you carfe if u are fucking that up to huh? i mean, no use in, i dunno, trying to make things better maybe? nah. no point in that. well, u know what? fuck you. if u are going to leave your own family to rot, your own friends, then go ahead, but dont forget it when you are watching them break apart after your dead and buried. you have no idea how much you cange in people's lives, because u are only thinking of your own. look around you. it will do everyone a favor. and dont be stupid. the simple though of "everyone's life will be so much better if i'm dead' is the dumbest thought you could ever think of. learn to listen for once! fuck!
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