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myOtaku.com
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Birthday
• 1990-11-08
Gender
•
Female
Location
• winnipeg
Member Since
• 2005-04-04
Occupation
• Receptionist
Real Name
• Kationok
Personal
Achievements
• Been to Hell and back
Anime Fan Since
• 2001
Favorite Anime
• princess mononoke, dragon booster, spirited away, inuyasha, ect...
Goals
• Live my life to the fullest
Hobbies
• Adventure seeking, reading, driving to unkown smokin up and listening to music
Talents
• Adaptability and Strength
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Tuesday, August 8, 2006
dont really know what to say. dont really feel anything. i keep hoping. its pretty stupid. after work i kept looking over my shoulders. after a while tho, i jsut relaxed and listened to my music. i said it just now. u wanted to know what was wrong. i told you. u left. it doesn't matter. i already know it is hopeless. why, may i ask, do i keep wanting, craving hope? i should be done with it by now. i can't really tell you what i mean, because i dont really know myself. he is in another black depression. i make it worse, by hoping, that maybe if he ever did, he would know it. i have not yet learned to hide my feelings or thoughts as well as i had hoed. it has been almost 16 years, and still i cannot hide myself properly. i suppose i am still learning, and that i should be patient. patience is a virtue. i cant stay. i am feeling nothing, and so i dont know what to write. i always wonder, since i often feel this numbess at times like theses, can it be, that i am feeling so many things at one time that i do not understand, that my mind and heart turn total and utter confusion and helplessness into numbess for my own sake? well, i am going to have to try and find a scientific answer to that someday, then a spiritual one. compare what they are, then find my own answer, probably completely different from the other two^^ i am going to bed now, working again tonight. sleep sweet.
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