Saturday, July 15, 2006

ROAD TRIP!!!!!
OK I have heard from my grandma that my mom side of the family is going to have something of a reuion and we are going next wenesday and come back that sunday this good and bad

good I get to see my mexican side of my family and I get my unlce great burgers!

bad Im going to go away from comp for 4 days and I cant speak that much spainish and Im going to leave be hind my music TT_TT and it is in mexico so they is no AC and the drive is 6hrs long

ok I want to go but I dont want to leave my music hmmm my I can convince my grandma to let me borrow a cd player so I can listen to my cds I dont think I can live without my music and then there are other things so pretty much when I get back Im going to be more hyper !
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A WILD DAY ( or so far)
ok after wakeing up at 2pm I found out that the people that where suposse to come arnt so that means * evil background music* work !
so mom sayes that after her nap we are going to work and so I get something to munch on and mom gets up after her nap we go to work we have finished the ceiling pannels and then after 2 hrs without power the lights ( eheheheheh and after that I also almost got electiced cuz I was sweaty and I wasnt looking and my head almost touched some hot and exposed wires noticed ALL MOST cuz my grandma warned me I still able to be here and not twiching on the way to the hopistal ) any way so Im mellow and then I got the comp back so we are just waiting for bros to show up and what ever so thats my day so far more later LOHL
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   why ??
started at 2:04 am
ok Im sleepy but I dont feel like crashing yet so I felt like writing but as it is the time I cant >.< ....... so Im trying to find something to do , but there isnt that much to do at 2 in the morning I pretty much want to play some thing but the question is what??? the only way fo me not to be bored is to pretty much give me a lot of math and a bunch of manga and lots of loud music to keep me happy and quiet but Im to poor to get any more than 3 manga and I dont have any one who can supplie me with enough math problems and still keep track of all the math and work a calutor , the only person who craves math as much as me is my brother josh but he isnt into the long and complex algebra (sp) like me so I end up haveing to explain it to him and Im not much up for teaching lessons , I have alot of the rock music but I want it loud enought to be heard outside the house I cant do that cuz not every one in the house likes the rock ,also I can only listen to it a the comp, I could burn it on cds but that would take like 4 cds and I only have 6 I dont want to burn that many but I do want my music , and I cant just listen to music I want something to do while Im jamming . I draw but I dont have the feeling for it, and when I do I dont know what to draw and since I cant walk away from the comp I have to draw on the small space bettween where the screen and keyboard meet and that isnt alot of room so and I cant draw all to well on the comp ( fyi I didnt draw the avi I wish I did but I will put up my own art as soon as I get some one to let me use their scanner) I can draw kinda good but not as good as I believe that I can so I kinda limit on that so Im kinda low on the things I can do that keep me from being bored .. yes I can multy task .....I mean I can be talking to 3 differnet about 3 differnet things and being makeing a new post and be drawing and looking at anime pics that could go on my many differnet sites AND still be bored so why do all that stuff other than cuz I want to , but when people do that much they shouldnt be bored or all lest thats what my mom tells me . have so many sites where I can play games but this same convistion keeps coming into my mind
me: 'hmmm this looks like a fun thing to do'
mind : ' yes but will keep you from being bored??'
me : 'hmm I guess'* startes to play *
mind: ' why do you play these games??'
me: ' cuz Im bored'
mind: ' why are you bored?'
me: *thinks about it and still is playing * ' Im not a pyshcogist ! '
mind : ' so how do you know this will keep you from being bored??'
me : * just died in game* 'T_T I dont know ... I dont know any more '

see that is the problem Im always wondering if I should or shouldnt kinda a for good or for evil theory . I can only do one but I think about both side ..sometime a little to much...*sigh* so Im still wondering what the heck to do after all the noise and people go away ....there is where I become clueless. I hopeing that the party that is going to happen weeks away will help think about something for the boredom crist ...oh well that is all for now cuz finally Im sleepy enough to crash

"later to one and all" she yawned as she goes to bed

finished at 2:52
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Friday, July 14, 2006

   the crazy postof happy but what ??
Im feeling kinda mellow but Im happy .

but I wonder why am I happy .

I didnt save the world or do any thing specal ;I didnt do any thing that would qualifly as any thing that would make me happy ....I pretty much did nuthing all day ...but Im happy ....I have every girl wants ; I have a boy friend , Im going to have a party , Im smart, I have alot of friends, Im good, I have no major problems really....so why is it that Im happy .....I may be happy but the feeling feels some what empty.....why Im not sure .....I havent told any lies or I dont have any thing to be about guilt but I feel like I forgot some thing andthat these happy feelings Im haveing are just a lie and by the time I remeber why I shouldnt be happy it will be to late then I will feel worst......Im sad about my friend but I know that isnt it .....it that feeling when I go some where and I feel like I forgot something and eventully I remeber it but there is nuthing to do but feel stupid ..........well if it was something major then I would know it by now !....*sigh*
I just wish I knew what the heck it is !!!!!!! .....the feeling keeps nawing the inside of my head but I dont know what to do ..... this thing is PO me .AHHH ...grrrrr Im going to listen to my lovely greenday ...their music makes me happy some how....but not as happy as save me by unwritten law.......* jammes to the loud music * ..* takes deep breath and lets it out* ahhh....it is like the calming sound of the ocean for thoses sane people .........all I feel is the steros speakers booming ....and the louder everything is the better I feel ......brain stew is one of the best ones ...but they have some many good songs!!.....I feel better.....yes the music makes the world a better place ......I wonder what would happen if they made a law that said we couldnt listen to music any more
( * )__( * )
...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

that would be a very scary thing ..it is like have sane people and white houses and everybody acts and talks the same way and all the insane people is forced to be like them ......
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
...* rocks back and forth* I just scared myself ....hold on * slaps self hard* ..ok I think Im better now .....I just keep tell myself that they would have to kill me first before they will get me to join their sane white butts !! ...I love my insanity ! and if the start to change the insane to sane by force I know at the most 49 people who like me will cause enogh destruction to make them think twice that the insane will go do easily ......especal us who are bipoler and not on the meds ......MWAHAHHAHAHA ....*sigh* hmmm well seeing as how I bored and I have the house to my self I think I'll just jam to my music till they get back and I will have fun with icecream and butterschotch!! LOHL


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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

   problems with few solutions and the happyness hits the fan
ok I happy and only few know why but thats pretty much not the thing last night at 1:30 ish my friend couldnt sleep becuz she was stressed her biy friend is in the navy and she worries about him alot and then she tried to get some sleep and then ( AT 2 IN THE MORNING !) her parnet started agureing (AGIAN!) so any happy thoughts I had at the moment went right out the window ( for more info on the friend check out help with friend post)

so Im pretty much caught in bettween her problems and my happiness .....I feel horrible know that she has these problems but Im happy with the things that I have ......it makes me wounder if I will have these problems in my life like she has them now .......Im pretty much just conflicted ....on one hand I can say forget her and leave my life being happy with what I have ( but that is not me !) ...or I can leave my life worrying over her and each one of her problems( I dont want to comit to that all the way) .....so Im the in bettween stuck I dont know what to do . Im trying to do both but that aint working out to well ....*sigh* I want to help her with these problems cuz she helps me with mine ( I dont have big problmes but many questions) so she desever what ever help I can give her ..but Im pretty much at the end of my rope, nearing the end of the bucket of help , giving more and more but Im still dont have enough to solve the problem ....and I dont know what I going to do when I dont have any thing say ...... I going sane from all this ( which scares me the last isnane person in my head that went sane went to the closet Im dont what to join her....) ....maybe I could use her to help me but if I use her to help me I might go sane ,if I dont use her I'll go sane, or she might just make the problem worst ......I dont know what to do any more I going to keep trying on my own but depending on how long that takes I dont know I need the group ...I hopethe party Im planing works but I haveing problems with that too ( getting a hold of people ) * sigh* well Im going to try byebye for now
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help with a friend
I have a friend and her parnets arugre alot and for every little thing it is mostly the dads fault and the dad who starts it . she wants to move out but cant because her mom needs help and she doesnt want to leave her mom with the dad because she knows that he wont take care of the mom (the mom's knees are deteraing ; she wont be able to walk by christmast). also every job she goes to turns her down .the only place that she has worked at was mc donals . I want to help her but I dont know what to say that will help her . the parnets have tried divoce but they are to lazy to get the dang thing done. if you can tell me any thing to say to her that would help alot . cuz all I can give her is words but what words can I say that would help with this ???
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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

   building update (!) and days to come
8/11/06 10:57 am

ok for those who have been following the building update this is another one * cheers in silnce * any way we ( mostly they ) have finished puting back the floors (!) , have add the walls back to the last room (!) , and have put the ceiling on the last room (!) (the ceiling happened last night ). so now thats left is the back room (!) we ( or they again ) have to put the ceiling cuz we never took down the walls then we have to put tile ( the platic kind ) on the floors ( ply wood isnt pretty to look at and it smells ) and buil mom her closet .

but if you thought remodleing stops there we are both saddly mistaken. mom say " when I get a chance we ( as in everyone agian and with in the year) are going to fix that bathroom ". I agree becuz the wall has started to rot and it is to small ( take two air plane bathrooms that how big it is ) . so we "plan" to tears out the closets and rebuild agian, what and how is a myster to me but I'll know later



now that is done Im still bored .*YAWN *sleep in SF.TX. is a figment of my imagetion (BIG TIME!) ok I want to crash at like 1am but there heat and thoughts keep me up. so the night is nuthing but stareing at the ceiling and still wanted to repaint my walls and still hateing them for changeing the color without out asking me and playing brain stew by green day in my head ( the song is about the guy trying to go to sleep but he cant either and how horrible he feels cuz he cant get sleep "my eyes feel like they are going to bleed") so after all the trying I crash at like 3 in three....... I hate my walls ( I had it dark dark green * with big hand gesutres* AND THEY PAINTED IT LIGHT BLUE!! -_- grrr )


*sigh** rolls eyes * ( that aside) I only got to read two stories * hits self for breaking quota* the secound one was funny and kinda scary if you want to know ask and I'll tell you ( Im not going to tell others cuz they might want to read it or have it and are reading it ). Im going to see if I can get more out of the book today , that and I have to clean my mom's truck out , and maybe be asked to help build again today so that leave me about 80% of my day that I dont have nuthing to do .......so meh.....well thats all for now
LOHL
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Monday, July 10, 2006

   the groggy noon post * with lots rock theme music *
ok Im up but Im like * wobleing* ..so yea Im all sinusy (aka have stuff nose and bad algeris) and I hate !! ...Im still wake uping .I have pretty much nuting to do so Im going to be like all bored again ( at least till I get hyper ) hmmm matbe I'll just read the huge stephen king book (nightmares and dreamscape , which is alot of short stories and 816 pgs.) in my room ....yea thats is fun ( takeing bets on how far I get into the book)....meh I love stephen king so probly three stories ( WHAT they are long !!) .......meh I hate this RAIN!! *sigh* thats has being the only weather Im seeing and Im pretty much drowing (low land + LOTS OF RAIN = to much water everywhere + clay dirt = lots of mud and ponds and flooding ) so Im pretty much doomed ...*sigh * well thats all for now l

later
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Sunday, July 9, 2006

pic that I drew and quizes

What Kind Of Anime Fairy Are You?::anime girl pics:: by angel_drifter
Name/Username:
Current Feelings:
Favorite Place:
What You Look Like:
Where Can You Be Found:	On The Surface Of A Frozen Lake
Quiz created with MemeGen!

You as an anime girl (with pics) by ayane isozaki
Name
Date of Birth
You
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Are you a Goddess??.::for girls::.(anime pics) by angel_deamon
name
anime name	Karie
goddess of	wind
what you look like
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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Saturday, July 8, 2006

Im back !
ok I got to see pirats of the carribean II : dead mans chest....and UT WAS ASWOME ! it is a must go and see movie! and I got a hair cut !! it is awsome ( I got it cut to my shoulders then had it layder then she took the bottom layer and made a another layer and I have no bangs but she cut the front part up to my chin so ^_^ Im hyper!) hmmm well that all for now LOHL !
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