Friday, July 14, 2006

   the crazy postof happy but what ??
Im feeling kinda mellow but Im happy .

but I wonder why am I happy .

I didnt save the world or do any thing specal ;I didnt do any thing that would qualifly as any thing that would make me happy ....I pretty much did nuthing all day ...but Im happy ....I have every girl wants ; I have a boy friend , Im going to have a party , Im smart, I have alot of friends, Im good, I have no major problems really....so why is it that Im happy .....I may be happy but the feeling feels some what empty.....why Im not sure .....I havent told any lies or I dont have any thing to be about guilt but I feel like I forgot some thing andthat these happy feelings Im haveing are just a lie and by the time I remeber why I shouldnt be happy it will be to late then I will feel worst......Im sad about my friend but I know that isnt it .....it that feeling when I go some where and I feel like I forgot something and eventully I remeber it but there is nuthing to do but feel stupid ..........well if it was something major then I would know it by now !....*sigh*
I just wish I knew what the heck it is !!!!!!! .....the feeling keeps nawing the inside of my head but I dont know what to do ..... this thing is PO me .AHHH ...grrrrr Im going to listen to my lovely greenday ...their music makes me happy some how....but not as happy as save me by unwritten law.......* jammes to the loud music * ..* takes deep breath and lets it out* ahhh....it is like the calming sound of the ocean for thoses sane people .........all I feel is the steros speakers booming ....and the louder everything is the better I feel ......brain stew is one of the best ones ...but they have some many good songs!!.....I feel better.....yes the music makes the world a better place ......I wonder what would happen if they made a law that said we couldnt listen to music any more
( * )__( * )
...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

that would be a very scary thing ..it is like have sane people and white houses and everybody acts and talks the same way and all the insane people is forced to be like them ......
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
...* rocks back and forth* I just scared myself ....hold on * slaps self hard* ..ok I think Im better now .....I just keep tell myself that they would have to kill me first before they will get me to join their sane white butts !! ...I love my insanity ! and if the start to change the insane to sane by force I know at the most 49 people who like me will cause enogh destruction to make them think twice that the insane will go do easily ......especal us who are bipoler and not on the meds ......MWAHAHHAHAHA ....*sigh* hmmm well seeing as how I bored and I have the house to my self I think I'll just jam to my music till they get back and I will have fun with icecream and butterschotch!! LOHL


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