Saturday, July 15, 2006

   why ??
started at 2:04 am
ok Im sleepy but I dont feel like crashing yet so I felt like writing but as it is the time I cant >.< ....... so Im trying to find something to do , but there isnt that much to do at 2 in the morning I pretty much want to play some thing but the question is what??? the only way fo me not to be bored is to pretty much give me a lot of math and a bunch of manga and lots of loud music to keep me happy and quiet but Im to poor to get any more than 3 manga and I dont have any one who can supplie me with enough math problems and still keep track of all the math and work a calutor , the only person who craves math as much as me is my brother josh but he isnt into the long and complex algebra (sp) like me so I end up haveing to explain it to him and Im not much up for teaching lessons , I have alot of the rock music but I want it loud enought to be heard outside the house I cant do that cuz not every one in the house likes the rock ,also I can only listen to it a the comp, I could burn it on cds but that would take like 4 cds and I only have 6 I dont want to burn that many but I do want my music , and I cant just listen to music I want something to do while Im jamming . I draw but I dont have the feeling for it, and when I do I dont know what to draw and since I cant walk away from the comp I have to draw on the small space bettween where the screen and keyboard meet and that isnt alot of room so and I cant draw all to well on the comp ( fyi I didnt draw the avi I wish I did but I will put up my own art as soon as I get some one to let me use their scanner) I can draw kinda good but not as good as I believe that I can so I kinda limit on that so Im kinda low on the things I can do that keep me from being bored .. yes I can multy task .....I mean I can be talking to 3 differnet about 3 differnet things and being makeing a new post and be drawing and looking at anime pics that could go on my many differnet sites AND still be bored so why do all that stuff other than cuz I want to , but when people do that much they shouldnt be bored or all lest thats what my mom tells me . have so many sites where I can play games but this same convistion keeps coming into my mind
me: 'hmmm this looks like a fun thing to do'
mind : ' yes but will keep you from being bored??'
me : 'hmm I guess'* startes to play *
mind: ' why do you play these games??'
me: ' cuz Im bored'
mind: ' why are you bored?'
me: *thinks about it and still is playing * ' Im not a pyshcogist ! '
mind : ' so how do you know this will keep you from being bored??'
me : * just died in game* 'T_T I dont know ... I dont know any more '

see that is the problem Im always wondering if I should or shouldnt kinda a for good or for evil theory . I can only do one but I think about both side ..sometime a little to much...*sigh* so Im still wondering what the heck to do after all the noise and people go away ....there is where I become clueless. I hopeing that the party that is going to happen weeks away will help think about something for the boredom crist ...oh well that is all for now cuz finally Im sleepy enough to crash

"later to one and all" she yawned as she goes to bed

finished at 2:52
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