Tuesday, August 31, 2004

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Hello everyone... I'm very very sorry for not posting yesterday. It's very noncharacteristic of me, but I think I'm feeling clinically depressed for the first time ever. Yesterday started bad, but it just kept on getting worse... First Period I got to class a few seconds before the bell rang, but Mrs. Higgings, who was usually very chipper in the morning, seemed a little bit off. It was either a) It was monday and 7:15 in the morning, or b) she was angry at me because I was the last person in the classroom. Oh, did I also tell anyone about my back killing me that morning. It took me so long to get out of bed because when I moved my spine it felt like someone stabbing me in the back with a knife. Second Period, Mrs. Koberna didn't seem to mad at me, but then again, she didn't seem happy with me either. Third Period, gym with Jess, I actually thought my day could be getting somewhat better, but I was wrong... Fourth Period, L.A. got to class a little bit early, which is extremely strange. Nothing really wrong right now. Fifth Period... this is where I broke down. Ari got third chair... third chair... Ari is very sad and disappointed in herself. She thought that she was good at playing the trumpet, but she was wrong, I will never be as good as Pig... Now that I've mentioned Pig, I might as well tell everyone what my strange User name is all about... On the first day of school, when Ari was a very small 6th grader, Ari saw a very strange looking 7th grader who was wierd but cool at the same time. Ari did not know that she would get to meet this strange person next year though. Ari played the trumpet in 6th grade, she was okay, but got very nervous when it came to testing so she mostly would stay in the 2nd trumpets. When Ari was in 7th grade, she was in band class with the strange 7th grader from last year, who was now an 8th grader. She learned quickly of this 8th grader's social status and name, Pig. Pig was a very very skilled trumpet player, he was first chair all year and never even feared when he was challenged for his chair position, and Ari wanted to be like him. So Ari played and played and played to try to be good like Pig, until she managed to get 3nd chair half-way through the year. Then, Pig actually noticed her and he said that he was actually scared that Ari had the potential of taking his chair. Ari was thrilled, and continued to practice to become the best. Ari was going to challenge Pig after becoming 2nd chair, but the school year had ended. Ari spent the summer vacation spending many many hours playing her trumpet and trying to be the best like Pig. This is why Ari's name is what it is, Pig is Ari's idol, she wants to be just as good as he is. In 8th grade, Ari's goal was to be like Pig was, she wanted to be the best... but Ari was not, and she got third chair... Ari thought she was good at the trumpet, but she found out that day that she didn't even have a talent. Back to 6th period, Ari needed to go back to L.A. but she was crying on the way there. Ari was three feet away from Mr. Carr who was standing in the hallway when the tardy bell rang, and Ari got a point taken off because of her tardyness. Ari did not talk throughout lunch. Ari had an alright time in Health, but Ari was very confused in Geometry like she always is. She really likes the teacher lady, but Ari has some sort of learning disorder and she stinks at math, eventhough she somehow got into the advanced class. Because of this, Ari thinks that she will never be able to go into Computer Engineering and work for Nintendo like she wants to. She will just be the scary old Lady who lives in the house at the end of the street who all the little kids fear. And I'll probably work at McDonalds, contributing to the death of people all around America. But Ari's bad day did not end there. When Ari got home, she had to go to her sister's friend's house because she found out that her Mom's car broke down in Columbus and she had to find a way home. Ari could not get online and spent most of the afternoon wasting her mind away infront of the TV watching Wrestling. Ari could see how fake it was and she did not know why these people watched it, but she did not complain. Ari was able to go home and go to bed, but Mom wasn't home until 7am this morning. Ari's arm hurt very bad this morning, and she felt very sick because she opened the window in her room because her room was abnormally several degrees hotter than the rest of the house. Today the teachers didn't seem to be wanting to smite Ari, but she did get another point taken off in Language Arts because she needed to print an article off of the internet and Ari did not want to complain, probably because Mr. Carr would not believe that Ari's Mom's car broke down and she couldn't sign a form that excused me from the homework assignment because she got home after I went to school. Ari hopes she made the right choise... Ari also knows that crying about a trumpet is probably stupid to a lot of people. But it was the only thing that Ari thought made her somewhat unique. Ari also knows that Love has pain, but she has not been in love and does not wish to know about them until she is emotionally ready for it. Right now, Ari does feel like stabbing herself to death with a toothpick over... and over... and over again... Ari is definitally depressed....

Ari is very sorry for boring you with all of her useless ranting, but for those of you people who read all that Ari wrote, Ari says that you are the best friends that anyone could have...

Ari is also sorry but she thinks she won't be able to post the random words this week and also the random quotations... thank you for stopping by... and please, have a nice day for Ari.

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... how should I know?



“Never pretend to love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.” - - Alan Watts

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