Tuesday, October 5, 2004

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Mood:err... I don't think I feel anymore.

Yet another crappy day... starting to feel really lonely and very sad....

Anyway, I'll start you out with a little bit of what happened to me yesterday, awhile after I was home, around 5 or so, I went to take a shower. The water was ice cold because my sister had used up all of the hot water. I was not happy, but I delt with it (like I was ever going to be happy anyway...). I had found a note for me saying that the two people had gone to the store (or something...) and would be back later. I then gathered my things up and walked into my room, which had the lights turned off, and consequently tripped on my cat, which made a very angry noise, and I fell and hit my face on the metal frame of my bed.

It wasn't very pretty, but I actually survived with just a swolen lip, although it didn't stop bleeding for awhile. I was a bit happy, considering what could have happened, but I also found out that my Mom had stolen my chair. I was forced to sit on the floor and do my studdies. Very uncomfortable.

Now, onto today, not any feelings for science class, we just read and checked our paper, which I got a 15/15 on, and that was nice.
History, had a test, I think I did alright, hopefully I got something good on it.
Study Hall... meh, I studdied... L.A. God, I hate that class so much, it's either the fact that I'm always half-asleep and it's so tedious, coupled with it's boredome. I can't focus on anything, especially because he expects us to do so much in 1:30, I'm going to be doing atleast two hours of homework tonight for this class, gah.
Band, meh. It was okay, not really fun, just because I had a headache.
L.A. again... so boring, didn't get a lot of work done, I think I have a learning disability, but I can get to that later.
Lunch was okay, I ate, but never felt full... it's a very strange feeling, but then again, I do have a bottomless chasm for a stomach. People kept trying to cheer me up, especially J-chan, which I greatly thank her for. I was also supposed to give J-chan back her binder ring... she gave me some pocky too, I felt really bad that I lost it.
Health, one of the only classes I can stay awake in. We talked about chewing tobacco, and Mr. Johnson actually bought $14 this morning to show us what it looked and smelled like... I seriously don't know how people can stand the smell of tobacco, made me wanna throw up.
Geometry, I think I failed miserably in our 'quest'... I DON'T UNDERSTAND UNION AND INTERSECTION! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!

Yeah... so, I won't bore you with that anymore, onto other matters. I just got home, and when I reached into my pocket, I pulled out J-chan's binder ring T_T I can't believe I didn't check my pockets... *hits self with geometry book*

I still have a science project to do for tomorrow, only got a little bit of that done. One of my cats threw up on my poster board while I was at school, so I'm going to have to run over to Drug Mart and get another one soon. J-chan gave me the idea of using ramen, I couldn't find a way to stick them on, so I'm going to try glue like she suggested. I also have those two hours of L.A. homework... I'm so going to fail that class....

J-chan really is one of the best people I think I'm ever going to meet, she's very talented, unlike myself, and she's nice, and purdy. ^__^ Now, everyone wave to J-chan! *waves* Hiiiii!!!

About my learning disorder, I hope I don't have something really serious, but I do think I have one, for I feel incredibly retarted all the time. I have way too much stress on me, and it's hurting my head fat. I also find that I am not complacent with myself at all anymore. I can't even conciliate with myself after having an internal battle. I have to coerce myself to act happy, and that's a hard thing to do still. I don't even know why people keep me around, I'm really just dead weight. If only the teachers could collaborate so that they don't give me so much homework at one time because I'm starting the think they have no idea what each other has planned.

I am also beginning to doubt myself, as I am not talented in any way, and really have nothing to offer. Just because I might be nice (which I doubt I am), that won't really take me very far because I'm never going to be at the top of my class, or even on the top half, and that means I won't ever get into college. I'm below average in intelligence, you see, for I can just act smart on occasion. Grr, I do not think the world and I are compatible. Someone really should have killed me off already, I'm just consuming resources that could be used for the smarter folk. I concede, time has worn away at my outer shell, leaving me very vulnerable and susceptible to emotional breakdown. I shall take my leave now.

Ha, that shows you who can use vocablary words, Mr. Carr.

I hope $1.50 is enough to buy poster board, it's all I have... yeah, I save up for a month on spare change and I end up spending it on a poster board....

... I am also starting to think that a few quizmakers are on crack... but the result's can tell you that.

UPDATE!!! Obtained poster board!! *'obtained item' music plays in the background* Now, insert $50 if you would like to see Ari do the Can-Can!! (not recomended)


You're a "Green Angel". You're one person
who is extremely protective of people around
you (especially your friends) and you'd end up
as a gaudian angel. You're stronger than most
and aren't ashamed to show it. People know how
tough you are and don't dare to mess with you
when you get mad. You're real close with your
friends and couldn't live wihout them so even
in heaven, you want to help them. You know
they'd want you as a gaudian angel and you'd
love to be able to ensure safety of your
friends for yourself because you're on of those
"If you want something done right, do it
yourself" kind of person. (If you can't see
tje pics, go to my homepage and look near the
bottom and find your result)


What Color Angel are You? (PICTURES)
brought to you by Quizilla



You're Element is Water. You are soft and serene
atmost times but like Wind, you're scary when
you're mad. You proabaly have a talent is
singing and even your speaking voice is lovely.
You have an innocent type of beauty that makes
you look younger than you are and you like
close relationships with people.(If you can't see
the pics, go to my homepage and look near the
bottom and find your result)


What's Your Element? (for gurls) (PICS)
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You're like an angel. As everyone knows, angels
dwell in heaven. They were desribed as shining
ones wearing white and the idea that they have
wings is believed as well. Guardian angels are
the ones that many people think are dead loved
ones who try to protect the living friends or
family they have on Earth. They usually had
blonde hair and maybe brown with flawless
appearance and sweet dispositions. They were
cheerful, hopefull, selfless, loving, and kind.
Angels are the one mystical creature that a
majority of people truly believe in. Encounters
with angels are poping up all over the world
and reassuring people's beliefs in angels. (If
you cannot see the picture, go to my userpage
and look near the bottom. There should be

the
picture and description for all the results)


What Mystical Creature Are You? (Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

How loved are you?
Created by KerianaWilliams and taken 7103 times on bzoink!
Name?
Age?
Favourite animal?
You're this loved.	71%
This many people love you.	625
Create a Quizlet | Search Quizlets | Go to bzoink!

You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

Image Copyright Sheila Wolk (prints available
through treefreegreetings.com) - words added by
myself.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla


winged protector!
to watch over all, full of concern and passion for
life.
take alittle time for urself.


what r u? (girlz) (anime pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

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... how should I know?



“Never pretend to love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.” - - Alan Watts