Wednesday, April 27, 2005

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Stuff...
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Hello everyone... thanks for all the stuff you guys said, although I can't reply because I'm short on time. I just started to write a journal, so I'll post some of it right now. I can actually think a lot when I'm not in a time crunch and writing at school.
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Entry 0: Clones, but better.

People have a strange notion that everyone is unique and no one is exactly like you. Notic the operative word "exactly" in there. Everyone is supposed to have something that they're good at, and that no one else is better than them at. Pffft, like that's gonna happen.
Just when you "think" you're special, you get slapped in the face with a 10lb. dead atlantic tuna. "NOTHING. IS. SPECIAL. ABOUT. YOU. LOSER." There are other people like me, i.e. around the same hobbies, interest, talents, everything, except then can do it better. Oh, and did I mention, they're pretty, not fugly. So, theoretically, it is as if someone cloned me and then made a crapload of improvments. And as the earlier model, I am pretty much discontinued and obsolete.
Remember, you're unique....
...just like everyone else.
Of course, this doesn't apply to many of you, my friends. There really are some people who are special, and who deserve to be treated specially *hug*
Also, potentially being manically depressed I'm not really the greatest candidate to be a friend! TT___TT

There is also the thing with never being the worst...but never being the best. It's never...
You are the best but you are ONE of the best. You're the greatest person I've ever met but you are ONE of...
etc.etc. Don't have time to write them now.

I'm also not saying literally that they are clones of me, it is just they are so much like me but better that they could BE me.
It would be nice to be the best at something , although I'm not concerned with winning.
No one has ever said "You are my best and only friend." either.
It's just a waste of everyone's time to be around sometime. I like to make people happy, not sad. It always makes me so sad when I'm just hindering people.
It's not that I hate people...well, I do...but don't take it personally....
Yeah, that was off topic. Anyway, enough ranting,for today anyway.
Goodbye.
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Entry 1: Matters of beauty or lack there of.
I ask my friends " Am I ugly?"
These are the responses I received.
-"...*turns head away* [two hours later] Uzuru-sama is pretty.
-" No offense, but you're definitely not the most gorgeous person in the world, but you're not HIDEOUS...."
-"No, of course you're not."
-"Umm...you're pretty when you straighten your hair, but no, why?"
-"You're asking me? I told you a million times already, no, you're not *thwacks Ari over the head*"
-"No."

There could be two explanations
1.) I really am ugly but some of my friends were trying to be nice.
2.) People see attractiveness differently.I guess it may be why people treat me so bad and make fun of me all the time. It's probably not the only factor, but one of them....
I guess there has to be balance of pretty and ugly people, like yin and yang or something. Some people have to be ugly, and some, fugly. I'll talk more about my ugliness later. Goodbye.
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Entry 2: Hugging
I wish there was more hugging in the world, then maybe I could hug my friends without getting weird stares.
Why doesn't anyone hug me anymore anyway? I am untouchable, although in a much different definition than I would enjoy. Is it just because I'm so unattractive? Or is it something else? My stupidity, ignorance,personality disorders. Maybe people think I'm lesbian...oh well, I really would like to get a friend someday who would actually enjoy giving me hugs. A good friend, hopefully sometime before I'm eighty.
I really don't have any friends who can hug me for a minute without getting twitchy and practically combusting. If time permitted, I could hug for hours. It's probably the lack of human touch I had as a child ( hah, I still am a mere child...). No one has ever really paid me attention, I guess it's the lack of any outstanding qualities that I do not have.
Enough Rambling...Goodbye.
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I am sorry for the evil library Nazi's who lost my internet permission slip ( which means I can't go online) and I am getting my sister to type this for me. This is the 3rd time damnit!

You guys online have been the sole purpose I haven't commited suicide yet, so I don't know how I'm going to be able to cope with this...this...immense stupidity.

F.Y.I Ari is addicted to the internet.

Other news before I must depart...
-The mutant crickets attacked at 7:30 this morning ( a.k.a. we had a fire drill)
-I probably failed anotehr math test, yay failing!

Well, that's about it...I;m sorry...again.

Take care everyone
- - The horribly depressed Pig

UPDATE!!!

Life is great!

I am so happy!

The idiots found it!

*glomps everyone*

^ ^ I could just start singing random songs out of pitch!!

- - The now greatly elated Pig.

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... how should I know?



“Never pretend to love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.” - - Alan Watts

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