myOtaku.com: Angel of Pig

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1991-04-06
Gender
• Female
Location
• The nation with the most nuclear weapons on the planet
Member Since
• 2004-05-19
Occupation
• High School student; practicing Hobo/Stripper
Real Name
• Ari (pronounced âr-ee, to avoid confusion); I also go by Squishy and Kitty

Personal

Achievements
• Eh, I don't "achieve"
Anime Fan Since
• Fall of '02 I believe
Favorite Anime
• Cowboy Bebop, Spirited Away, Nausicaa, FMA, and Chobits
Goals
• Make it into Stanfy, among some other things
Hobbies
• Computer, Trumpet, Music, Video Games, fings of that sort...
Talents
• Cuteness, Smartness, Awesomeness, Artisticness, Musicalness, Foxiness

myOtaku.com: Angel of Pig

Saturday, May 7, 2005

Run away, terrified child.

Entry 15: Silence
Something is wrong. Everything's so confusing. What is happening with me? These stupid things... I can no longer control them. It has spiraled out of this plane of reality, and it feels as if I'm going from two dimensions to three.
Why does stuff like this always happen to me? I open myself up, a little bit at a time, but when I'm vulnerable enough... my inner self is shattered and I end up retreating further into my shell and fall back more than when I began.
And just why am I crying? I knew this was going to happen from the beginning, but I was too blinded to stop myself. Now this...
I hate people. I hate everyone. I used to think that not everyone was the same. Some people were good and they didn't try to hurt other people- but, I see that I was wrong. Companionship?! There is no such thing. Betrayal. A misplacement of trust. That's all there is to it.
Oh, the crimson tears.
How they stain the clean slate.
Uneraseable and painful, the memories.
What was once present has now passed.
And it can never be changed.
The sadness, stinging like fragments of glass.
While the rational mind scoffs at that which is so feeble and weak.
The Edge of Reason.
There will never be a place for someone who has never belonged. Luck is never on my side, and teh toll taken is now too much. There is a hollow feeling everywhere, a void of too much emotion. I feel stronger... more courageous... I can go through with it.
I wish I could stay around until Monday, but, fortunately, I probably won't. Unfortunately, I am still thinking about things, but, this will probably be my last post. I know everything will be better off without me.

And please, for teh person of whom I used to be, take care.

- - No one

... how should I know?

“Never pretend to love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.” - - Alan Watts

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