Thursday, May 12, 2005

If you are under thirty five and a single male, please screw your brain into a light socket...

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Chess
Waaa, I played a game of chess against Nick yesterday... and lost... misserably... but I still got both of your bishops!!
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Breathing
I woke up this morning, and to my surprise, I could breathe! It was fun, because I was worried I'd have to perform CPR on myself... which would've been kinda awkward....
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Kitty cat goes meow meow meow...
Sorry, I watched that video too much...
But, I have a newfound respect for cats. My cat, Larry, has never really let me touch him under his chin. Sometimes, when he's really happy, I'm able to for a few seconds before he bites my hand.
I was thinking about it, and, because of my lack of intelligence, have just recently noticed that he's probably smarter than most people would think.
My hand is so big, if I decided to punch him, or not even that, apply a good amount of force, I could probably colapse his trachea. I won't have anyone touch my neck either, it's too vulnerable.
If you think cats are really stupid, you should reconsider....
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Still sick...
Bleh, I'm not really getting worse or anything... but not really better either. The only new devolopement I'll bore you with is the fact that my fingers have been feeling stiff, as if I had arthritis... but I don't. Kinda weird.
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Band
Umm, two kinda weird things happened in band today...well, atleast, they were out of the ordinary. Right now we're studying major scales: composition, key signature, fingerings, blah blah blah.
Mr. Zartman is also getting the instrumentation of the marching band all ready, and since he has an embarasingly high number of flutes (50) and too many trumpets among other things next year, he wants some people to switch to mellophone.
If you don't know, it looks like this... (it's a marching band version of a french horn)

So, he goes into the office and gets one out... he talks about how all of the notes are the same, just pitched lower and whatnot; then he starts walking toward me. Now, I'm thinking "Please don't make me play it, please dont' make me play it..." and, to my demise, he did.
It was weird... just because it's pitched at F instead of C (sorry if I'm confusing you if you don't play instruments...) and it took me a second or two in order to find the equivolent to C on a trumpet. As if that wasn't embarasing enough for the first trumpet, he told me to go up the scale. That was pretty easy... except for the fact that I got so into the sound I started playing a C major scale... blah, but, I was able to remember how to play a B flat major scale (you know, the normal one) and I got up to a normal C. He told me to keep going up, eventhough I was slightly mortified from previous mistakes. I got up to the high B, which is normally kinda hard to get to on the trumpet, but was pretty easy... except for when I went for the double C, I didn't have enough air and couldn't hit it. Embarassing, yes, very much. All of this going on with a really good high school trumpet-player guy sitting in on our class for reasons unknown (that's all the information I was able to get).
I was very glad after that ordeal was over, so I was able to relax again... until...
We "learned" two more scales today. I already knew them, but I mean, we have to memorize them by next Friday... they are B, F#, Db, and E... or atleast, they would be the C, E#, Cb, and D major scales, but I won't go into that too much...
Anyway, Mr. Zartman asked what was important about the scales that we had just played. I thought about it... "enharmonics"... but I thought that was stupid, so I continued thinking. Everyone was giving wrong answers, and no one else's hand was up, so I figured, might as well take a shot at it...
Ari: We did the three enharmonic scales...?
Zartman: *happy(which is somewhat wrong...), also pointing at Ari* Ahahaha! You are one smart cookie! (WTH?!) You see, I knew that she was good! Everyone else looks like *makes zombie-like face* duhhhh, but you were actually thinking!
Ari: *slightly proud of accomplishments*
Class: *staring at Ari/band teachers*
Graham: I know! *high-pitched voice, like the one used when people talk to cats and/or babies* Aww, look at you, look at you! You're so smart! *purposefully trying to embarrass Ari, but in a way only Ari and a few others would know*
Ari: *face red, sinks back into chair*
Class: *trying hard to hold back laughter*
Yeah... that was definitely one of the stranger things that happened to me today, but it was very funny. Mr. Graham and me... have a weird "relationship" just because I had him as a band teacher for two years and we try to insult the other discreetly in funny humorous ways... kinda like a friend, but very different.
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Interums
B Geometry
C Language Arts
B American Hist.
A+ Science

God, that's the worst I've done in all of Middle School... man, my Mom's going to kill me. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid... etc.
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Entry 17: Envy? I don't think so... (note, some of the contents of this entry have been removed because of it's legnth and personal thoughts...)
Some people say I'm envious of other people's things... but, I really don't get envious of people for triffle things, I'm not materialistic at all. Sure, it might happen momentarily, but I come to my senses. I only tend to get angry when I'm "replaced." I mean that as in, I am someone's friend but there is a person much more perfect than me further up on the hierarchy, or atleast, a better friend than me. The reason I use the word replaced lightly, is that I do not care if they came before or after me.
(omitted)
But I was getting off track right then. A few people have said that the only reason I hate the women in anime/manga is because I'm jealous of them.
That got me very angry, for that is not anywhere near the truth, but let me elaborate... okay, scantily clad + great personality + large bust line = ... you really want to know what it equals? Something that is not real. Sure, their boobs are bigger than mine, but does that mean I should be envious? Let's find out...
I slouch because I have somewhere around 6 lbs. of extra fat hanging off my chest. Now, think about a G bra size... that would weigh be atleast 10 lbs... strap two 5lb. dumbells on your chest for a few days and see if you have back problems, because these people would seriously need a chiropractor...
As for clothing, I don't think you're going to find too many people who wear (the equivolent to) a thong and bra (or less) out in public and have AMAZINGLY COOL personalities...
(omitted)
And what about that slim figure? Since they do actually eat, there is only one other option. Bulimia! Yeah, I know you love the taste of vomit when you kiss someone! (omitted)
Grr... what the hell?! Okay... now, I know you people just LOVE putting obscene pictures on your website, but it's angering me (although it may not be angering anyone else...) a lot. I shall start removing people from my friend's list that I visit today.
You see, I don't DO that, because I'M NOT A HORNY LITTLE BOY.
And, incase you didn't know, the male testosterone levels don't even out until you're about 30, so have fun being immature until then!
If I WAS like you, I'd be posting things like this... (viewer discression is advised... so seriously, I almost hurt myself looking at some of these...)

OMG!!1! Like, look at it you whores!

and like this...

PANTY SHOT! LOOK, BECAUSE YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO SEE THOSE IN REALITY!!!

(more omissions [meaning two pages]...)
And now, an impersonation, by Ari...

"Haha, look guys, I spend most of my day staring at drawn pictures of hot ladies with non-realistic bodies because I'm too ugly and stupid to get a girlfriend! OMG! Look, I can talk teh L337 too! and I sit home all day and I live with my Mom!"

(and still more omissions...)
To get back on track... it gets annoying a lot, because some of my friends have actually moved me down as a person for a best friend who doesn't exist in this plane of reality. Yeah, I know he/she is really hot, but I'm a real, depressed person, and although I may be ugly and stupid, I have the potential to be a good friend... (omission)... and as for all of those other, real perfect people, you can go f*ck yourselves for all I care.
(last omission, yay!) I may be the embodiment of an inferiority disorder, but if you piss the sheep off enough, it will turn into an angry ram.
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Yeah... sorry, been writing that one for a few days... anyway, I'll be seeing you all later now.

Take Care

- - Teh Pig

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... how should I know?



“Never pretend to love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.” - - Alan Watts

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