Saturday, June 4, 2005

I'm sorry! Please try to understand!

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Can you see into my mind?
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La la la, feeling pretty indifferent right now, my life's messed up. *puts on sunglasses* no one will know I'm here... besides, these things are so badass it's not funny.
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I woke up... at 2 am... on Friday morning... and my cat... was snoring?!?! Yeah, it was probably one of the weirdest things ever, like a meow, but without pronounciation, like, "owwwww... *inhale* owwwww..." etc. It was incorperating into my dream, which was what really woke me up, when I realized it was still there. I turned my head around the other way and it got louder, and in the minimal light of my room I could see the lump on my bed that is my cat. So I brought my foot up and nudged him so he rolled over and it finally stopped. It's kinda hard to believe, but I know it was real! He's such a silly kitty....
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I got scolded multiple times in Language Arts for not doing my work, which gets me really stressed out, and I wanted to punch someone... and now my teacher's calling my Mom and they're talking and stuff... ugh, I only have three more stupid days of school left, I dunno, it just seems a bit extreme because I have a 99% chance of not doing my work.
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Gah, marching is hard work, that's pretty much all we're doing in band class right now. I mean, memorizing the song is easy, but playing it in "chair" marching position, in which you pick your feet up so your silhouette looks like a chair, is very uncomfortable and causes a trumpet to slip off of your mouth. I know I'll get better at it, but it'll take awhile with my lack of coordination.
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I think I did okay on the geometry final, but I'm still unsure about it, because I didn't study a lot... because if I studdied one chapter I'd probably forget another one.
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Saturday has been pretty uneventful... I woke up at 7... nothing good on TV, so I just left it on and went back to sleep... at which point I woke up again at 9, and there wsa comedy central to watch... and now it's 11... and I'm just here... so I'll probably go back to watching TV because I have nothing better to do in my life!
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More lyrics to songs...?!?! Yeah, whatever, I feel like putting this one up, because it's what I feel like... ya know, being a completely useless and untalented person and all... *sigh* Life's hard, I wish I could find my place somewhere... it doesn't seem to be here, everyone has something they're good at here, like sports, or art, or writing, or something, except me....

APC - Gravity

Lost again, broken and weary
Unable to find my way.
Tail in hand, dizzy and clearly
Unable to just let this go...

I am surrendering to gravity and The unknown.
Catch me, heal me,
Lift me back up to the sun,
I choose to live...

I fell again, like a baby
Unable to stand on my own.
Tail in hand, dizzy and clearly
Unable to just let this go.

I am surrendering to gravity and the unknown.
Catch me, heal me
Lift me back up to the sun,
I choose to live...
I choose to live...
I choose to live...

Catch me, heal me
Lift me back up to the sun.

Help me survive the bottom.

Calm these hands before they
Snare another pill and
Drive another nail down
Another meaty hole-

Please, release me....

I am surrendering to the gravity and the unknown.
Catch me, heal me
Lift me back up to the sun,
I choose to live...
I choose to live...



It beckons

195 questions
Created by tigerarmyneverdies and taken 58 times on bzoink!
basics
name?	Ari... yeah, it sucks, I know, don't make fun of it
age?	14
birthday?	April 6th... 1991
birthplace?	Somewhere in Ohio
eye color?	Hazel/goldenish
hair color?	Dark brownish, with slight tints of reddish... although the sun will make it more mahogany.
Piercings?	None
tattoos?	None
height?	5'2"... *sigh* shortness.
current location?	Somewhere in Ohio
righty or lefty?	Lefty
sex?	Hah, when the sun implodes....
Do You
smoke	Nope
drink?	Nope
cuss?	I try not to... although it happens sometimes
play an instrument?	Yes, trumpet.
have a bedtime?	No...
sleep with stuffed animals?	Nope, unless you count cats as stuffed animals.
have a bf/gf?	Nope, never have, never will.
sing in the shower?	Yeah
talk to yourself?	All the time!
want to have kids?	No!!
want to get married?	NO!!!
want to go to college?	Eh, it's debatable, I don't want to spend eight more years in schooL!
have a crush on someone?	No, love is for the weak.
have any pets?	Yurp, three cats.
like school?	Hell no, the people there are jack-asses.
act your age?	I think so... although I lean both ways at times...
go online alot?	Yup.
have a job?	No, want one, don't have one.
have a cell phone?	... RaDIaTioN!! X__x
like to sing?	Yup! It gets emotions out without hitting people!!
like to dance?	No... my feet are rythmically challenged most of the time.
favorites
movie?	Don't have one
band/singer?	A Perfect Circle/Hoobastank
song?	Pet
color?	Midnight Blue
book?	I like too many.
food?	Chocolate!!
resturant?	Hmm... I like... umm, non fast-food restaurants..?
tv show?	Anything Stand Up...
website?	IGN.com
animal?	Snow Leopard
flower?	The rose... so cliched, but so pretty.
cd?	Thirteenth Step
cartoon?	Umm... I dunno....
scent	Chocolate, I guess.
candy?	Gummie Bears!!!
ice cream?	I think... just vanilla...
cereal?	The non instanely sugary kind...?
video game?	Halo 2... or maybe Tales of Symphonia....
stuffed animal?	my cat *huggles*
computer game?	Diablo or Warcraft
subject in school?	Art... freedom of expression, dudes.
shoes?	... the comfortable kinds.
instrument?	Guitar, it's so versatile, and yet I probably don't have enough coordination to play it.
Have you ever
cried over a boy?	...yeah... regretably.
cried over a girl?	No.
lost a best friend?	... *sigh* yes.
done drugs?	No
smoked?	No
had alcohol?	No
been arrested?	No
been on tv?	No
been in the newspaper?	I think mentioned once, briefly when I was in 4th grade.
been in a fist fight?	Erhm...yes...
gotten lost?	All the time
failed a grade?	hehehe, I'm going to.
broken a bone?	No
been really sick?	Yes
been in love?	Don't think so.
been dumped?	Yes... metaphorically speaking.
had your heart broken?	yup... but it won't happen again!
broken someones heart?	Hah, yeah, the day I do that is when Canada changes it's major language to Spanish.
gone out in public in your pajamas?	no... don't think I will.
been kicked out of a mall?	Nope
stolen anything?	yes, but not recently, it was years ago.
had sex?	Bleh, no, never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever... etc.
gone to another country?	yup
snuck out of your house?	nope
kissed a stranger?	Nope
hugged a stranger?	...NO
slept with a stranger?	...-___- NO!!!
bitten someone?	hehehehehe, yeah.
gotten stitches?	two ^ ^;; hehe
been to canada?	Yup
had the chicken pox?	Yeah
seen a shooting star?	No... I would've wished on it.
Gone skinny dipping?	No
ran away from home?	Nope, but I should.
been picked on?	Hell yeah.
been on stage?	Yeah... it was creapy
thought about suicide?	wooooooooooo yeah
slept all day?	no...
kissed a boy?	NO
kissed a girl?	NO
broken the law?	I hope not....
met a famous person?	No
been in a mosh pit?	No
killed a animal?	NEVER!!!!
Pick one
chocolate or vanilla?	Vanilla
mcdonalds or burger king?	McDonalds... atleast they have apples...
pepsi or coke?	coke, it's less sweet.
black or white?	grey
rock or rap?	rock... because rap causes my eardrums to bleed
car or truck?	Car
summer or winter?	Winter, duh.
cash or check?	Cash please.
day or night?	Night
hot or cold?	Cold
dog or cat?	Cat... although I wuv doggies too!!!
tv or movie?	Movie
tv or music?	Music
snow or rain?	Snow
cake or pie	CAKE!!!
sprinkles or icing	hehe, both =^.^=
strawberries or cherries?	Strawberries all the way!
ocean or swimming pool?	Swimming pool, that way I don't have to worry about currents... -___- long story.
hugs or kisses?	Hugs, dude.
pants or shorts?	Pants.
spring or autumn?	Spring, a new beginning...
cell phone or internet?	Internet!
msn messenger or AIM	AIM!!
fruits or vegetables?	Fruits!!!
cds or radio?	CDs, more control over what you're listening to.
bed or couch?	Bed
bracelet or necklace?	bracelet, it accentuates my hands, which are purdy.
flowers or chocolate?	CHOCOLATE!!!!
silver or gold?	Silver...
guitar or drums?	Guitar
for or aganist
war?	I dunno, it's confusing. Humans can't live without war and it's horrible, but there's something appealing about it... I know, I'm a mental case.
gay marriage?	For, if "love" is a real thing, it doesn't matter what gender they are.
suicide?	for! It rids the earth of all the stupid, untalented, and utterly useless people, like me, from the gene pool!
love?	Against, stupid emotions...
school?	For... but against certain things, like overloads of homework...
smoking?	against
drinking?	against
drunk driving?	against
drugs?	against
sex?	against
killing?	eh, it's mixed... ahahahaha.
michael jackson?	against
britney spears?	against
rock?	FOR!!!
rap?	against
parents?	slightly against
rules?	slightly against
united states?	against
music?	For!
canada?	For!
bush?	AGAINST
kerry?	FOR!!!
politics?	for, people need a side to be on because everyone's not the same.
police?	For... for the most part, anyway.
cussing?	Eh, words are words, what words you choose to use are up to you.
cars?	Against, we should just walk, we'd be less fat.
when was the last time you
slept?	3 hours ago...
had a nightmare?	5 hours ago...
listened to music?	3 minutes ago...
sang?	3 minutes ago...
read a book?	about 26 hours ago...
watched tv?	about 2 hours ago...
watched a movie?	yesterday
were in a car?	yesterday...
got sick?	this morning...
went to the bathroom?	2 hours ago...
ate something?	about an hour ago...
brushed your teeth?	last night...
brushed your hair?	last night...
took a shower?	last night...
went to the mall?	wooooo, that was a loooong time ago....
talked on the phone?	umm, like, two weeks ago, or something.
cursed?	a few days ago
were on stage?	two years ago...
laughed?	last week...?!?!
cried?	5 minutes ago...
fought with your parents?	yesterday
got in a fight?	eh, a few weeks ago
danced?	hah, like, never.
went to someone elses house?	a few weeks... Jackie's house!
talked to a stranger?	...never.
rode on a bus?	yesterday afternoon...
drank something?	blah, last night... dehydration, fun!
got in a fight with a friend?	-___- ugh
yelled at someone?	20 hours ago!
went to school?	22 hours ago!
ate ice cream?	last night...
had sex?	NeVAr
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“Never pretend to love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.” - - Alan Watts