Tuesday, October 18, 2005

...put the gun down... and let the marching band go...

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Yes, yesterday's post was very half-assed, so, today you shall get a full-assed post!!! YAY!

I'll save most of the mushy stuff for... other places...

I was thinkin' about some stuff today. I hope I don't die in some tragic accident... *ponder* that'd be sad, 'cuz it'd be before "my time". Although it would be pretty kickass, hahaha. Then I'd go wherever you go when you die! Like heaven or hell or limbo or one of those places. Something like that anyway. Maybe you get reborn, hehe, that'd kinda suck, it's like getting recycled, and you'd have to start all over again. Hopefully that don't happen o__o. Maybe we just stop existing, like, maybe there's no such thing as a soul, maybeh it's just our brain! I dunno, it'd be sad if that happened too, 'cuz this is all the time I'll ever get! I wanna try to make the best of my time 'round these parts, and time seems to go by pretty fast right now, especially when I don't want it to... 70 or sum years ain't enough when you think about it, 'cuz yer not even an adult 'til you're 18, and you don't get out of school 'til around 22, so it's 48. Then, yeh only look good for a li'l bit, and your body starts decaying. It's like, at 21 or something, really early o__O Insane, I know. Then you work... and if you're lucky, when you're in your 50's you get to retire! It depends on how much money you make... then you spend those years bein' old and crusty and scaring the shit out of kids like me, hahahaha. I dislike old people for some reason... I'll probably be scared to look in the mirror when I'm old. It'll be like "FUCK! EEEW! I'M AN OLD PERSON!"

Hmm... I wrote some stuff down on the bus ride on Saturday as we were leaving...o__o It's poetic... jeesh, I'm so weeeeird.
Seeing the fluffy white clouds pained across the sky, as if by God himself, reminded me of you. I know you would've liked to look at them, they were especially pretty. You could lay on the grass all day, and I could lay beside you; we could stay there as long asyou wanted. That seems kinda impossible to do now though...
The sky seems like an endless sea of dreams that have yet to come true.
Maybe that's the reason why it's such a lovely shade of blue.
So very beautiful and high above, that which we cannot touch...
I never thought I could ever miss you this much.

I dun't think I mentioned that in New York, I saw this little stuffed bear when we stopped at a souvenier shop. Hahaha, we freaked out the tourists sooo much. 300 kids just came walking into this mall and then run out. They were probably like o___O what was that?!?! Hahahaha, anyway, I named 'im li'l Nick, and I wuv him soooooo much, probably 'cuz he reminds me so much of the real thing!! I carry him around all the time. ^ ^ He's had some really weird adventures! Including sleeping on wobbly parts o__O and stayin' in my shirt most of the day. I'd like to put 'im on my trumpet, but I'd need some rubber bands to make sure he's secure.

I gots a Band audition next Monday, just got the piece today. It's hard! And we have to learn it on our own, aaaand I don't have private lessons or anything, so I'm probably gonna fuck it up a lot, I can't sight-read worth shit! I learn music by playing it with repetition in band, not realleh on my own... I'ma practice lots and stuff, hopefully learn the music in the next few days, focusing on notes, legnth of notes, accents (although it really only looks like there's a legato part at the end I'll have to look out for). Then after I get that stuff down I'll look at dynamics and try to perfect that kinda stuff. I'ma reeeeally try to get in Concert Band, or atleast the White band... 'cuz I'm purdy sure the Blue band is teh freshman one. I mean, I am a freshman, but I'm pretty good biznatch. word.

The Band, Choir, and Orchestras are going on a trip to Virginia in April... I'll be gone for 3ish days. Actually, it's more like 2 and a half, 'cuz I'm leaving at 9pm on April 26th and coming back at 8am (driving all night it appears, both coming and leaving) It'll be fun though, I'll just miss teh Banana bunches (hahaha, banana, bunches, get it?... like bunches of bananas!! haha... it's not as funny now that I explained it -__-) Anyway, Jackie's in the orchestra! She's like my best friend here!! ^ ^ Maybe I can room with her! I'd be teh shit.

NO BAND REHERSAL TOMORROW!! ^ ^ Mr. Z canceled it 'cuz we're doing good and we don't need one!! Haha, it's more like, we don't really need one and he doesn't wanna waste his time. More Banana time for meee!!!!

Oooo, and I gotsa Dentist appointment in like, an hour! So I gotta leave for that soon! *brushes teeth* >__> whaaa?? Just makin' sure it's all clean...

*kiss* Have a good day Nick!
Take care everyone!!

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... how should I know?



“Never pretend to love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.” - - Alan Watts

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