Saturday, April 15, 2006

iOle! If I do say so myself

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Eventful life?
No.

Eventful life compared relatively to my "average" daily life?
Yes.

Alright, no school friday. ;__; I miss Jackie.

Sometimes I feel like a stone someone skipped over the water. For a while, I can keep myself a little bit above the surface. Heh, that means eventually I'll go under. Maybe that time is now?

I hung out with my Aunt and Uncle last night/this morning (non-biological). It was pretty sweet. Charlotte straightened mah hair :3 and Joe used that back massagey thingah on me. Dude, I love it. If you put it at the base of your neck, it makes your eyes vibrate and you can't see the TV well XD.

Urr, Uncle Joe's a funneh dude. o__O But tall. Scary. I'd say the weirdest/funniest thing he did the whole time I was there (eventhough it wasn't that funny to me...) was when I was brushing my teeth and he asked "do you need some baby powder?" Then he started cracking up. O___o Was that supposed to be funny? Oh my, maybe I'm just out of it.

My life seems so surreal when I think about it. Ya know, because I never thought it'd end up like this. Although instead of a good surreal, I guess it's a pretty crappy surreal. I never thought I'd feel this bad all the time, just the constant sick feeling I have in my stomach, always wanting to cry. But I digress, I won't get into that.

Then my Dad picked me up from there and we hung out for a bit today. :D He brought da babah. Wewt. We had to use a few diversionary tactics to keep her out of trouble. Hehe.

Urr, I felt really depressed today, so I got my Dad to take me to the library. I checked out a few college and career books to try to keep my mind out of my depression. I hope it works.

Jesus, I'm fat. *pokes stomach* When we went out to lunch, I felt all bloated, and the little sister named Lily patted my tummy and said "just push on it a little and it'll get smaller."
XD
I replied, "If it was only that easy..."

Yay, I get to go back over wif my "relatives" in the first week of May, da fif. :D Then I can get my hair cut! ;__; My hair is horribibile. All split at the ends... poo... stupid ugly self.

I'm in the mood of a different song. I guess it gives off a different feeling... well, duh. Yay.
Urrr, it's explained down there. :3 It reminds me of a lot that I'm going through as well; feeling like I'm helplessly being pulled along and there's nothing I can do to change it, in a world where I hear voices but I don't see anyone... I'm so lonely..., losing my sense of direction, things of that sort.

I have to go to church tomorrow. Uuuurgh, one hour of listening to people talk about nothing and lip syncing. :D... goddamnit.

I'm so sick of smiling when I'm nowhere near happy...
Take care everyone, much love to my friends who care.
- Kitty

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... how should I know?



“Never pretend to love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command.” - - Alan Watts

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