Wednesday, August 8, 2007

   Act I: Scene II of
yes, this is me Scene 2

(Enter Priest.)
(Enter Myrmidon.)
(Myrmidon is washing the blood off his clothes.)
Priest: So, Myrmidon, what happened with those kids?
Myrmidon: Oh…um…well…I…told them how we…needed that money, so they…apologized about it, and gave it back.
Priest: But…if that’s what happened…how did that blood get on your clothes?
Myrmidon: Oh! Um…what blood?
Priest: …The blood you’re washing out of you’re clothes.
Myrmidon: Oh, yeah…remember that time I got that money back from those kids?
Priest: Wait…you killed them?!
Myrmidon: What’s the problem? They insisted on doing things the hard way. It’s not my problem.
Priest: How could you do that to innocent children?
Myrmidon: Oh, come on. You’re saying it like it was my fault that they were being stingy. I was just improvising in a way which benefits me the most.
Priest: How does slaughtering innocents benefit you at all?!
Myrmidon: Well, once you think about it, it benefits the both of us. We have our money back, I got to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling I get from hurting people, and you didn’t have to watch, since you’re all moral and whatever.
Priest: You do know that God isn’t exactly smiling at you right now, right?
Myrmidon: Ah well…I’m sure those little freaks lost their innocence at some point, anyway, so God probably doesn’t give a damn right now.
Priest: But they’re kids! What could they have possibly done to lose their innocence at that age?!
(Myrmidon and Priest stop walking, and Myrmidon stares at Priest with his eyebrow raised.)
Myrmidon: You’re asking that as a question?
Priest: Yeah…
(Myrmidon turns around, chuckles and starts walking again. Priest follows.)
Priest: What? What’s so funny?
Myrmidon: Oh…nothing.
(Enter Mage.)
(Mage is hiding in a bush, and is spying on Myrmidon and Priest. She’s staring at Myrmidon in particular.)
Mage: There’s that swordsman…Oh, if only I could work up the courage to talk to him instead of just following him…
(Mage blushes.)
Mage: …But I’m sure I won’t creep him out if I told him the truth…I’m sure he’s understanding…
(As Myrmidon and priest walk by the bush, Mage crawls out of the bush and blushes.)
Mage: Um…hi…
(Myrmidon looks at Mage, and raises his eyebrow in confusion.)
Myrmidon: Um…hi…? Who are you?
Mage: Well, um…I’m Mage…and it’s nice to finally meet you…
Myrmidon: Uh, not really, but how do you know who I am?
Mage: Well…I saw you before…so…I thought…that I should talk to you…
Myrmidon: So, you were hiding in a bush to talk to me?
(Mage blushes.)
Mage: Mmm-hmm…
Myrmidon: Oh, so you were stalking me? You do realize that there are a lot better ways of giving a first impression, right?
Mage: Oh, I’m sorry!
Myrmidon: Yeah…Come on Priest, let’s go. This girl’s creeping me out.
(Myrmidon and Priest start to walk away from Mage.)
(Mage follows them.)
Mage: Wait! Don’t leave.
(Myrmidon stops.)
Myrmidon: Oh, why would I ever want to leave you? I love you with all my heart.
(Mage’s eyes twinkle, and she becomes giddy.)
Mage: Really? Do you mean it?
(Myrmidon chuckles.)
Myrmidon: God no! What in Hell were you thinking, Girl?
Priest: Myrmidon, are you coming?
Myrmidon: Yeah, hold on.
(Myrmidon follows Priest.)
(Exit Priest.)
(Mage follows Myrmidon.)
Mage: Hey…wait up!
(Myrmidon sighs in frustration.)
Myrmidon: …Look, I played along with your stupid love thing, so what do you want now?
Mage: Um…
Myrmidon: …What?
(Mage blushes.)
Mage: …Well…I was wondering…if I could come with you?
Myrmidon: Eh…why?
Mage: Well, you see, I’m so much better than the other mages you might befriend.
(Myrmidon raises his eyebrow.)
Myrmidon: …I see…
Mage: …So…yeah, I’m just an all about better person, you know?
Myrmidon: Oh, so you’re a stalker, and you have a superiority complex? …No way, Sweetheart. I’m staying away from you.
Mage: But I could help you!
Myrmidon: Really and how is that?
Mage: …Well…
Myrmidon: Okay, that’s enough for me. See you never!
Mage: Wait! I could really help you!
(Myrmidon sighs with frustration.)
Myrmidon: Okay, what is it?
(Mage torches a nearby tree with a Fire spell.)
Myrmidon: …Okay, you’re in…but you still creep me out!
Mage: Really? Awesome!
Myrmidon: Oh, and if you’re going to follow us, you’ll have to give me some space, as horrible as it might sound to you.
(Mage blushes and her eyes twinkle.)
Mage: Oh…okay.
Myrmidon: Now, let’s just catch up to Priest before he does anything stupid and moral.
(Myrmidon and Mage walk away.)
(Exit Myrmidon.)
(Exit Mage.)
Narrator: And so, the heroes have befriended a new companion, Mage! But…will they ever find Priest? Will Mage ever get the hint that Myrmidon doesn’t like her, and thinks that she’s a complete weirdo?
(End Scene.)

Make Love - Daft Punk
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