Thursday, August 9, 2007

   act 1: scene 3
yes, this is me i'll be gone for the weekend, but here's scene three of act one, okay?

Scene 3

(Enter Myrmidon.)
(Enter Mage.)
(Myrmidon and Mage are walking through the field, closer to a town.)
(Mage blushes.)
Mage: Hey, Myrmidon…what are you thinking about?
Myrmidon: …A possible way to get you off my tail…
Mage: What?
Myrmidon: …Eh…nothing…We’re almost in town. Hopefully Priest is somewhere in there, and not doing anything stupid again.
(Myrmidon and Mage start walking through town.)
Myrmidon: Hmmm…if I were a priest, where would I be?
(Myrmidon looks at the church nearby.)
Myrmidon: …Nah, that’s too convenient…
(Myrmidon stops, turns around, and looks at Mage.)
Myrmidon: You know, you don’t have to follow me everywhere I go, right?
Mage: But- But I don’t want to lose you, or anything.
Myrmidon: …Crap.
Mage: What did you say?
Myrmidon: Nothing, let’s just find Priest before he does something with a moronic or noble cause.
Mage: What’s wrong with doing something moral?
(Myrmidon’s eye twitches.)
Myrmidon: It would be better if we just didn’t even get into that.
(Man #1 walks by Myrmidon and Mage.)
(Myrmidon clears his throat.)
Myrmidon: Excuse me, my good man. Have you seen a priest with a creepy smile around here?
Man #1: Oh, yeah, he went in that Bar across the street.
Myrmidon: Yeah, thanks, Mate.
Man #1: No problem.
(Man #1 walks past Myrmidon and Mage.)
Myrmidon: Look at that! Priest is in a bar, possibly drinking. As ironically amusing as it is, I can’t get my hopes up too much. He’s probably convincing the customers not to drink, but I’m sure he’s not stupid enough to do that.
(Myrmidon follows Man #1 off-stage.)
Myrmidon: Excuse me, Sir?
Man #1: Yes? …Um, what are you doing with that sword—?
(Man #1 screams and blood splatters.)
(Exit Man #1.)
(Mage’s eyes widen and her mouth drops.)
(Myrmidon walks back to Mage, and blood is on his robe, sword and face.)
Mage: Why did you just kill that man?!
Myrmidon: …Priest never told you about the warm, fuzzy feeling, did he?
(Myrmidon and Mage walk up to the front door of the Bar.)
(Myrmidon stops, and turns to Mage.)
Myrmidon: Do you have to stand that close to me?!
(Mage’s eyes widen in shock.)
Mage: But- But I…
Myrmidon: Just forget it. Let’s just go in there, and get Priest.
(Myrmidon and Mage go in the Bar through the front door.)
(Priest is standing on a table in the Bar with his arms raised in the air, and everyone is watching and listening to him.)
Priest: You shouldn’t waste your good money on this wretched alcohol! Not only does it destroy your health, but it corrupts your souls.
(Myrmidon sighs in disappointment.)
Myrmidon: Wow, and to think I was actually foolish enough to get my hopes up!
Mage: But what if he’s right?
Myrmidon: Then that’s the alcoholic’s problem, not mine.
(Myrmidon and Mage walk up to the table that Priest is standing on.)
(Priest smiles at Myrmidon and Mage in surprise.)
Priest: Oh, Myrmidon! There you are! What’s this? Mage is here, as well? It’s good to see you brought your girlfriend along.
(Myrmidon glares at Priest in utter disdain, and his eye twitches.)
Myrmidon: …Priest…may I…ask you something?
Priest: Shoot.
Myrmidon: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?!
(Priest’s eyes widen with shock and nervousness.)
Priest: …Well, I was just saying how you brought Mage along.
Myrmidon: That is not why I’m about to mutilate you with my bare hands! It was the part where you called Mage my…
(Myrmidon takes a deep, heavy breath.)
Myrmidon: …Girlfriend…
Priest: Why don’t you like Mage?
Myrmidon: Why is that a question?
Priest: What do you mean?
Myrmidon: Well, let’s see. For starters, since I met her, she’s been reeking of mistletoe and roses!
Mage: …Yeah, from all the love spells I’ve attempted, and failed…
(Myrmidon and Priest look at Mage.)
Mage: What?
Myrmidon: Yeah, I’m even less comfortable than when Mage was stalking me. Anyway, as I was saying, she’s clingy, creepy, a stalker, which we’ve noticed, and she…
(Mage starts crying, and runs out of the Bar.)
(Exit Mage.)
Myrmidon: What the crap, Mage? You could at least have the decency to let me finish my sentence! But no, you had to run off, crying, like a girl!
Priest: Dude, Mage is a girl.
Myrmidon: Your point?
Priest: Did you have to be so cruel to Mage?
Myrmidon: Would you rather that I be dishonest? Well…more dishonest?
Priest: …There are times when it’s better to just be quiet.
Myrmidon: Wait, where’s the bartender? You’d figure the bartender would’ve kicked you out by now.
(Enter Bartender.)
(Bartender is in a bathroom stall, looking at a Medieval Playboy magazine.)
(Exit Bartender.)
Myrmidon: Well, whatever it is, it’s probably important.
Priest: Shouldn’t we be trying to find Mage right now?
Myrmidon: You can do that if you like.
Priest: Why won’t you help me? You know that you should.
Myrmidon: Yeah, I know I should, but I just don’t care.
(Priest hops down on the floor from the table.)
Priest: Fine, but when I find her, I’ll tell Mage that you didn’t even bother to look for her.
(Priest heads for the front door of the Bar.)
Myrmidon: Okay, have fun wasting your time on her.
(Priest leaves the Bar.)
(Exit Priest.)
(Exit Myrmidon.)
Narrator: And so, Priest goes on a journey to find Mage, and maybe make peace between them.
(End Scene.)

Make Love - Daft Punk
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