Friday, January 18, 2008

Warning: thanks, sleep/math, hockey, yesterday/dentist, snow, wp, & misc

Hello, hello, and welcome back to my life. XD Thanks so much for the comments!! Yug, midnightqueen, capture, Iruka, and aitenten, it's been quite some time. Of course I haven't forgotten about you!!! ^_^ *hugs* I could never do that. Most of you were equally as shocked as me to have a health/gym class in college; indeed, it is ridiculous!! My brother was right--it's just like I'm in 13th grade!! Exactly Skomie, the "sequel" to high school is what this is. -__- And yes, books for college are always super expensive...$50 was a lot less than most of the books, but it's ridiculous when you see the size of the book. Um, thanks for the votes and comments on my drawing!! :3 It might've been featured actually! Thanks! And for everything else said, thank you. Well, I'm still tired-feeling, but I slept more last night than the night before. Hopefully this weekend I'll be able to get enough rest and get it WITHOUT the pills. ^^; Because, like I said, even though I got enough sleep, I'm still tired. I had lots of dreams last night though...scary and angry ones and also randomly good ones (I had a Loveless-related one and I think another with L) XD. So I woke up against my will, got ready, and went to school...and here I am in the library. I just had math, which was hard to stay awake in, and that's all so far. I have French in a couple hours. It's a clear and cold day today, and yesterday we got SNOW!! :3 Finally! We got some real snow, none of that random little flurry crap! It was so pretty, and I was hoping for a snow day, but obviously no dice. So...two days ago (wednesday) we went to a hockey game! I wasn't going to at first because I was so exhausted, but I couldn't pass it up. So we all went (except for Derek), and it was pretty fun. Our team, the Fylers, ended up winning! We didn't stay the whole time though cause my mom had a terrible migraine. :( At the game, there were these really loud and obnoxious guys standing behind us...probably drunk. I think that for most people, the beer is what attracts them to the sporting event. ^^; And I don't like that. Bleh. Um, I got food there (there's a little bistro in the arena), and it was really good!! I got clam chowder in a bread bowl, and it was amazing...so surprising! It was better than an expensive restaurant's! So yeah, that was wednesday (aside from school). As for yesterday, well, it was a pretty crappy day! I had health class first, and that was boring...and then history class, which was pretty hard. My teacher moves really fast; I'm not used to having to take notes on information spewed to me so quickly!! O__o He didn't use any slides or anything, so yeah. I just need to get used to that. I was so tired that day since the night before was terrible, and I was in a depressed mood! After class, I had to wait a while to be picked up, and then it was off to the dentist. *sigh* The worst place ever. I haven't been in several years (possibly 5)...so that wasn't good. I was so incredibly depressed while I was there. ^^; Even the dentist noticed and asked if something was bothering me. WELL, of course I'm not chipper if I'm at the dentist's, and I haven't been sleeping, and I'm just bleh overall! >> So yeah, it was just a routine check-up/cleaning...took x-rays of my teeth, which didn't go well because I gagged on the x-ray thing they put in your mouth. Almost threw up. v__v Um, then was the rough cleaning with the picking and scraping...she wasn't gentle at all. My mouth was so sore last night, I could barely eat. Now for the bad news! I have a couple cavities. :( Well, I have several, but some are too tiny to need fillings...but a couple I need done. *sigh* Hearing that made me slip deeper into my trance of feeling down. I wanted to cry. ^^;; I almost did cry right there in the office. I know, they're just tiny cavities...but still...*sigh* Oh, and she gave me a prescription for toothpaste. Yes, a prescription toothpaste. I've never heard of such a thing. It's supposed to help with the cavities that are too small. Anyhoo, enough of that...I was a tired and bleh blob for the rest of the day. It was relaxing to watch the snow come down though. I did my French homework and then worked on a wallpaper. It's felt like a long time since my last one...so yeah. I LOVE how this turned out. ^^ It's really soft and clear-looking. It's of Ritsuka from Loveless. I KNOW that many of you don't care for Loveless, which is fine, so you don't have to download it if you don't want...but I'd still appreciate comments on it to tell me what you think of it artisticly. Of course, if you like it, PLEASE download! Thanks. Hosted By theOtaku.com. It probably won't become featured, but I guess that's fine...since I really like how it turned out anyway. It might've if it had been in the "most recent" section longer, but a ton of people submitted wallpapers yesterday...and one person submitted like 10 or more at the same time. I really get annoyed when people do that...especially if they're all really similar-looking or of poor quality. There should be a limit to how many are submitted at one time. ^^; Anyhoo, sorry! I visited some people yesterday but not all...I shall try to get to more today. I may or may not post tomorrow [I sorta like this every other day posting schedule]. We'll just see. Finally...it's just about the weekend!! Rest!! But I'm pissed that I don't get monday off. -__-; It's MLK Jr. day in the US, and that's a national holiday, right? I thought everyone gets off! *sigh* But my university isn't...darn it...Bah! I sure could use an extra day off. Ironic that I only just got back to school this week, and I'm already tired of it and wanting a break! ^^; So yeah, boo to that. I guess I should wrap this post up now, huh? Again, no amv; I'm too lazy to find one right now. Thank you so much for visiting me, and have a great day/weekend!

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Warning: thanks and a lot of school ranting...sorry...& drawing

Thank you all for the comments! *hugs* You're such wonderful friends. I don't know what I'd do without you...seriously. XD But I'm sure you'd be fine without me, right? ^^;; I haven't been commenting much lately...sorry. Anyhoo, Ordinary Girl, Angel, anit4e, Aya...and others probably but I don't remember, thanks for returning! It's been quite some time, and it's totally ok since you've been busy...and I can relate to that now. ^^; I don't remember who hasn't been here in a while because I haven't been posting as often...so yeah. I feel out of place. Anyhoo, thanks a lot for the encouragement with school, sleep, and everything. Also, thanks to the few that commented and downloaded my last wallpaper [still disappointed that so few did...]. Good luck to everyone that is equally suffering with school; I appreciate your kind words. I'm soooo tired...*sigh* So tired. I'm tired of always being tired. And you're all tired from reading about how tired I always am from not sleeping. I'd shut up about it if I got sleep now, wouldn't I? .___. I thought I was going to be able to sleep last night without a pill, so I tried, but that didn't work out...and I didn't get enough hours of sleep cause of waking up for school so now I'm extra crappy feeling. It sucks. Anyhoo, I just had math class, and now I'm in the library. I have a feeling I won't remember what happened in math class...totally. It was just a boring class...the usual lecturing from the book. Madii drew the whole time, and produced a masterpiece. XD A beautiful sketch of the Greek God Bacchus. Sexy. *laugh* Ummm, so yeah, not much to say about that! I'm just really tired, and I was thinking about sleeping in and skipping math last night! I really should've. So...yesterday...well, it was a day full of new classes, and boy was it exhausting. First I had health. Before I get into that, I just want to say: W. T. F. This is college!!! WHY do I need to take another freaking health class??? I've taken health classes in middle and high school!! We're adults now so can't we think for ourselves as far as health is concerned?? It's not like I hate health classes, it's just very annoying--a waste of my time. What I DO hate about it is that 6 classes this semester we have to participate in a GYM CLASS. And it's mandatory. Again, I state my point: this is COLLEGE, not secondary school...so why are we being forced to take gym? I thought I was free from that finally...but no. *sigh* As you can see, I'm very much against gym...unless it's a dance class, I don't like it. Another stupid thing is that, of course, we have to buy a book for this health class. I thought since it was smaller and not hardback that it'd be pretty inexpensive! Like $20-$30, but NO. It's $50!! T__T Ugh. So anyhoo, at least I sorta made a friend in that class...then I had history after eating my lunch. No friends in history class, but at least my teacher is amusing. XD Dude, he has 4 earrings, speaks with an Italian mafia accent, and cracks jokes like Adam Sandler. It's insane. I can't say that the class will be as fun as his personality, but I gotta say that his presence was so much more refreshing than my last history teacher! And I'll just be happy that there isn't a group presentation. *nods* After explaining the syllabus and having us introduce ourselves, he let us go a bit early. Then I had my graphic design course. Oh. Dear. Lord. It seemed like FOREVER. 1-3:40. That's almost 3 freaking hours in the same room. Now, that wouldn't be so bad if it were a fun learning experience, but it wasn't. The first 2 hours or so were spent listening to my teacher go over the syllabus, talk about graphic designing, explaining Macs [the computers], and attempting to have us log in. She didn't have the login info correct so we couldn't even get on. -__- Until MUCH later. *sigh* It was like torture sitting in there...and it's going to be torture because it's an intro course to something I already know very well. She explained every little thing on how to use a Mac, and for Heaven's sake, we have to buy a BOOK on using a Mac!!! And we'll have homework from it! *goes insane* Then, of course, she showed us Adobe Illustrator, and that's what we'll start out with...I've used that before...and I don't like it. I know how to do this stuff! >> When it was finally time to go, I thought I was going to collapse...no food or drink allowed in the computer lab, so I was dying! Sorry, I could definitely rant on and on about that class, but you get the gist. I'm bored, annoyed, and exhausted by it. At least it's only once a week. Sooo...I'm tired. I wish that Monday-Wednesday weren't such f-ing long days. It's going to be torture [I need another word] trying to do English homework on these days...since I get home past 4, and by then I'm so tired. Anyhoo!!!! I drew last night. She's a cat girl. If you read my description, you'll see me complaining a lot about how she looks...and about all the mistakes. Oh well. Please vote/comment if you want. I was amazed to have 4 votes without even asking anyone. Nyaaa~n... Hosted By theOtaku.com. Is this getting too long? If so, then I'm sorry. I just need to get this out of my system. I haven't been a happy camper lately, and it's probably mainly from not sleeping. Depression and not sleeping...the vicious cycle. Anyhoo, tonight we're going to a hockey game. I totally forgot about that...I'm not really looking forward to it since I'll be exhausted. ^^; Too tired to watch and enjoy. But yeah...because of that, I doubt I'll get much visiting done today either! I'm sooo sorry!! T__T And tomorrow, oh joy, after school I have a DENTIST appointment. *sigh* I haven't been in a few years... I'll end this here, no amv...I know, it's horribly long...and I actually could keep typing, but for your sakes, I'll stop! No post tomorrow! Sorry again for my lack of commenting! I feel really bad about it. Argh, I can't believe it's only wednesday...of my FIRST week back to school, and I'm already worrying and complaining like this. ^^; That's not good. Well, take care, and have a good couple of days!

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Monday, January 14, 2008

Warning: thanks, 1st day back, sleep/schedule, yesterday/wp, & amv

Awww, dudes, thank you so much for the comments. :3 I loved reading them so much! Especially the ones about the "L" perfume. Those were hilarious..."I bet he'd smell nice..." *laugh* Yes indeed! Chris, thank you so much for your really sweet and deep comment! You gave me some great insight and encouragement about how I've been feeling, both with insomnia and depression. It's been a while since you've been here so I'm really happy to hear from you again!Same with angel kat, KD, eternalparadise, and my new friend Megan (deadxonxarrival)! New friends are always welcome. :3 Thanks again for everything, guys. I really appreciate it. And thanks for commenting on my wallpaper and all [it's ok that some of the girls didn't care for her outfit! XD I thought it was classy though]. Arigatou! Did I not post yesterday? Yeah...I didn't. ^^; Huh. Doesn't really feel that way! We didn't go to church, but I slept long and was really lazy in the morning so I didn't post anyway. Plus, I didn't think I'd have much time to comment...so yeah, hello peoples...and guess where I am? School. Library. Yes, I'm back to school...ugh!! College has commenced for the second semester today...goody-goody. I've already had math class, and it's with my same teacher as last time (since I picked her again) so that's good. Even though she sucked as a teacher, I really liked her since she was so nice! Only one guy from my last semester stuck with her [I find that funny since he was the one complaining most about her...and skipping class!! XD], and everyone else I've never seen before. My friend, Madii, is in my class though. ^_^ She sits behind me. I didn't think we'd have any classes together because we didn't last time, but it's cool we have math! So now I'm in the library for about 2 hours until my next class. XD I brought my DS to whittle away my time after I post... As for my sleep last night, it totally sucked cause I was thinking/worrying about school today...so my sleeping pill didn't work too well. ^^; Oh well. Hopefully I'll sleep naturally tonight because of waking up early (earlier than usual) and having a busy first day back to school. So after this little break, I have French and then English...the same schedule as last semester. My mondays and wednesdays are just like last time's, except that I don't have history in between math and French (hence my 2 hour break); I have history on tuesdays and thursdays. Also on those days I have "exercise science," which is just a health class. -__- Tomorrow I have my "intro to computer graphics" class, which lasts from 1pm-3:40!!! O__o That's long!! And I already know a darn lot about graphic designing...but I really don't know what we'll be doing, so yeah. Oh well. So that's my schedule. As far as posting goes, I won't post on tuesdays or thursdays, so that's different from last semester. Ugh, I can't believe I'm taking 6 classes...too much!!! Bleh...let's see...yesterday...was one of those crappy days! I was thinking a lot about school, and I was also just being depressed about whatever! It totally sucked. -___-; *sigh* So I didn't really have much fun yesterday...I've been playing the second Phoenix Wright game, and I've been playing Eternal Sonata on the 360. In commemoration (sp??) of that awesome game [the graphics are so pretty! the characters are so cute! it's really fun], I made a wallpaper last night of my favorite character, Chopin. I even tried drawing him, but I quit that. This wallpaper seemed to take forever, and I was totally dissatisfied with it, but eh...I guess it's ok. It's really dark and grungy. I knew I'd barely get any downloads since the game isn't that popular, but I'm psyched that I got 10. XD So please download/comment!! Hosted By theOtaku.com. [7 hours and 9 comments later...I still only have 10 downloads. It's fine if you can't download or don't have time...but I ask you as a favor to do so...and at least comment ON the wallpaper. ^^; I'm sorta disappointed. Oh well.] Umm...I guess I'm out of things to say. I just hope my mood picks up. ^^;; I'm sick and tired of being in this slump. Slump of sleeplessness and being depressed. CRAAAPPPP. v__v I'm a bit nervous about tomorrow since those are all new classes...hopefully they go well. I guess I'll go find an amv now. I haven't shown this one in a while...I love it! It's so good. XD It's a Princess Tutu one with the song "Hall Om Mig" by Nanne Gronvall. So enjoy! Well, that's all for me. *hugs* Thanks so much for visiting me. You're the best!!! I'll try to do some visitime today, too, but I can't guarantee much...since I'll probably be exhausted and home late! ^^; Um, again, I won't post tomorrow...so take care! Have a good couple of days! [edit: I won't be visiting much at all today or tomorrow...today because I'm too depressed, and tomorrow because I already have an essay due Wednesday...]

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Saturday, January 12, 2008

Warning: thanks, sleep, L perfume??, yesterday, wp, fear, stuff, & amv

Thank you all for the pretty huge comments! I got so many; I totally wasn't expecting that because fridays are usually pretty bare! Boy, was I wrong! Then again, I got several comments today (saturday), which is fine as well. :3 First, a welcome to those gone for quite some time! Ezel, thoa-kun, Driffter, Olivia, zabuza sama, and Gi-chan!!! OMG, it's been so long for some of you especially. *hugs* Thank you for coming back; I've missed you. And of course, I appreciate everyone else that comments when they can, too!! ^_^ Insane, it's ok; don't worry about it. I'm not upset anymore...just some things in your comment threw me off, but I understand. *hugs* Sesshlu, I'm glad you like your new avi! Thanks for the compliments on my drawing; if you wanna color it in (anyone), just PM me! Now then...I didn't finish reading the comments (sorry!!), so that's all. Thanks a ton to everyone though. I love you guys. Oh! And I forgot to mention about what the doctor said--don't worry. XD Lots of you said things about him being right and "no offense" to me and whatnot. *laugh* I thought what he said was amusing, not offending or scary...so don't worry. ^^; The way he was stressing my life being taken over by allergies. Anyhoo, back to the usual order of events...Another night's rest thanks to those sleeping pills. I know lots of you are against them, but the way I see it...is as long as I'm sleeping, then it's fine. Also, once I'm back to school (verrrrrry soon), I'll be exhausted from it. I'll be able to sleep naturally again. I had some dreams last night that I don't quite remember anymore, but I think they were school-related. -___- Nooooo....all because this is my last weekend of break. *sigh* Oh well. BUT, I think one of my dreams involved L from Death Note, so that's a plus. XD Speaking of L, this is totally random, but...whenever I see the ad for THIS PERFUME, well, it's hard not to think of him. XD So click that and look. It's a new perfume that's in Gwen Stefani's line...I don't really like her, but anyhoo...I just find it amusing that there's just this giant "L" on it that looks just like his! And the slogan amuses me greatly. XD He has his own perfume line! Must be really sweet-smelling. Ok, enough of that silliness! Though I really don't have much to talk about otherwise. Yesterday was one of those boring days. Do nothing days. Even though it was Derek's birthday, we didn't do anything. Like I said in my last post, he was celebrating with his coworkers and girlfriend yesterday. Today is when we'll have the family party. ^^ I doubt we'll do much other than open presents and have cake though. It was just the usual day of watching anime and playing video games...then later I did some visiting, and I made a new wallpaper. I don't know if it'll be featured, but I really like it. Olivia, thanks a bunch for the comment already. :3 It was really sweet and encouraging! I was afraid that this didn't turn out well, but I guess I was wrong. Yes, this is a lady in risque apparel, but it's classy and stylish, no? So please comment and download!! Hosted By theOtaku.com. The latter part of my day wasn't that great though! I started worrying about school coming up; I printed out my schedule and found it pretty stressful. The first 3 days of the week I have classes until 3:40! And everyday I have to wake up at 9 for my 10:10 classes. -__- But anyhoo, other than that, I was just plain ol' down. My mood decreased, and not only was I feeling depressed, but I was feeling scared. Like I had this really distinct feeling of fear...when I was thinking about life and death again. Afraid of dying and equally afraid of the future in my life. It's terrible. I really wanted to cry, and I'm not sure about which I was more concerned about. I don't like it. I haven't been feeling "real" lately at all...like this whole world is just a dream or something. And no, I've felt this way before WITHOUT the sleeping pills so it's not them. -__-; *sigh* But anyway...I hope my mood is better today... Well, I have nothing better to say. Umm...I visited a lot of people yesterday, but I'm sorry if I didn't get to you. :( Sorry. Today really depends on what we're doing with my brother to celebrate his b-day...so we'll see if I visit much. I don't think I'm going to post tomorrow because we're going to church, and it's also my last day of break. I need to gather my school things together and whatnot. My schedule this semester will allow for more posting in between classes though, and my posting days will be different than before probably. Anyhoo, here's an amv. I remembered showing this before. "Alone" by Heart, and it's with Ouran. :3 Enjoy. Thanks soooo much for visiting me. *hugs* I love hearing from you guys whenever you visit! Thanks again, and have a great couple of days...well, weekend, I suppose!

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Friday, January 11, 2008

Warning: thanks, rain/sleep, drawing, doctor day/yesterday, today, & amv

*looks at list of blue update lines* Wow, like no one has updated today...mainly ones from yesterday, which I didn't get to. ^^; I guess cause it's Friday, but I'm still posting. Sorry about my last post...I was just ticked off by those things and certain things said..so yeah. Sorry!! Anyhoo, thanks so much for all of the comments on my last post. Familiar faces from a while ago have yet again appeared! *hugs* And I'm so glad, too. ^^ Lute, Miko-chan, DD, yours truly, Ichigo Shirayuki, and DaFeather! Thank you for coming back and commenting. I really appreciate everything said. I see lots of you have had similar troubles with friends. Yeah, cursing is fun to laugh at when others are doing it purposely for humor, but I just don't curse. XD And I don't know a thing about music, really. I know what I know, which is anime-related music. Hah. Thanks for the support on everything and the comments on my artwork, too. Thanks again. It's raining!! I love the rain. Though in winter months like this, I'm really hoping for snow...*sigh* It's been warmer than usual, and the other day it felt like spring! So odd. So I just had my window open to listen to the rain, and Totoro was at my feet on my bed. The wind was causing my curtains to flap and blow and he got scared off! XD He's such a little wuss dog. So cute though. And if you were wondering [rather, if you remembered], he's starting to get better again. He still doesn't want to walk up the steps yet. Poor thing. Now then, as for my sleep, well, I slept last night. ALL night. Not just from 6am till whenever. Why? New sleeping pills! XD Yeah, well, I'll talk about that later. The point is that I got sleep, and that's all I want. The day before yesterday...I don't remember at all, but I did draw with my tablet. :3 And I really like this drawing a lot!! No, of course it isn't colored...if anyone likes coloring art and doing trades, I'd love to have someone color it in [if they want]. Anyhoo, read the description under the drawing for info on my tablet...because I felt happy knowing it didn't really suck as much as I initially thought. So yeah, please comment/vote!! Fedora Hosted By theOtaku.com. Yesterday was another incredibly tired day. The night before was torture, laying there until past 6am when I finally slept. So like I said in my last post, my mom called to try to get a doctor's appointment set up for me. Lucky us the doctor had a cancellation and could get me in yesterday! If that hadn't happened, I would've had to wait until late February! O__o So yesterday was a doctor day. The appointments were late afternoon, so it was really odd going out at that time. Yes, appointmentS. First was the chiropractor. That was at 3...he just did the usual cracking of the back and whatnot. He also told me that I need to "wake up" my "tiny muscles" more by doing these stretches he showed me. ^^; Tiny muscles...yes...indeed. Um, then we got late lunch (everyday I eat lunch late--past 3:30pm) and went off to the other doctor's. The doctor I saw is my mom's doctor, and now he'll be my permanent one...no more pediatricians. :( No more stickers for being a good patient. Darn. So since I was a new patient...that meant filling out paperwork. Of course, I was asking mom what to put for most of it...since I had no clue. After waiting, I got called in and soon after that, the doctor arrived abruptly and briskly sat down saying, "I'm Dr.Schuster. So what are you here for?" XD He was just so blunt and funny when he said that. So I explained what's been going on, but I mainly focused on...my...ALLERGIES. Yeah, I know, most of you probably thought I'd go there to simply address my inability to sleep, but you see, other than my overactive mind, my sinuses are a main reason why I can't sleep. Right when I lay down, I can't breathe out of my nose. It's terrible. And it's pretty darn hard to sleep when you can't breathe, right? I've tried every allergy medication possible, literally. I listed them all for him, and he was really in awe of the meds I've exhausted. Nothing works anymore. He agreed. And it was very funny because the way he was talking about my allergies was more like he was talking to me about some sort of addiction problem or depression. "They're taking over your life. This is just terrible. You can't even live right because of this. You can't sleep, you're tired all the time, can't breathe...you need to take CONTROL of your life. You're a young adult. You need help. You can let this run your life." XD Well, I'm glad he thought that! So he recommended I see an allergist for help, and it's a crazy coincidence because it's the same allergist my mom saw first about her problems. ^^;; And she couldn't stand him. Yeah. Great. So anyhoo, after the rundown of my crappy allergies and how I can't sleep...he let my mom in and we talked some more. He wasn't going to give me anything to help with sleeping until my mom said so. Yay. So I got FREE SAMPLES. A box of 10 pills...different ones than I've used. That'll hold me over until I get back into the swing of things...after all, I start school this Monday. When we got home, it was pretty late since we had to go to the grocery store after, too. I played more Phoenix Wright, and I finally FINISHED it for real! ^^ Like I thought I did on new year's, but then there was an extra chapter...which I finally finished yesterday. It's such a good game. And now I can play the second one [these are for the DS]. Since it was so late, I didn't get much computer time at all...so no art, no wallpaper. D came over for dinner...which reminds me!! It's his birthday today! Yes, Derek, my oldest brother, was born today. He's celebrating with his coworkers and girlfriend today, and then tomorrow he'll come over here for more b-day celebration, like going out to eat. He's now 29...wow... Ok, this post is going on for a while, ne? But I had to make up for my last one...since it was so short and crappy. I don't think anything's planned for today. And this is going to be my last weekend of break...back to school monday for a new semester of college. -___- This break really sucked. Anyhoo, I'll go find an amv now. It's an Air one, with clips from the game. I'm not sure what the song is...but it's pretty, and I like how the overlapped the talking into this. Enjoy! Thank you, thank you...so much for visiting me. *hugs* I'm soooo sorry for not commenting a lot lately though. :( I haven't been up to it, and I'm sorry. I'm always surprised to see anyone commenting me since I haven't been that great of a friend. ^^;; So thanks and have a wonderful day! [sorry this post was so long!!]

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Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Warning: thanks, no sleep...yesterday, art, & short post

[If you're tired of reading my usual crap, then don't bother commenting with complaints...thanks. This is my post, and I can't help it if I have nothing good to talk about.] Thank you so much for the comments. I love you guys. I didn't think I'd get that many, but then again, I didn't post for a day. ^^; I didn't even remember that...I thought I posted yesterday. Well, anyhoo, thank you so much for your wonderful comments. I haven't read them yet...sorry...but I don't feel up to it right now. :( I will when I can. Yeah, this is going to be one of those oddly short posts...because I'm not feeling well on account of not sleeping. *sigh* Last night was one of the worst nights ever lately...it was one where even the sleeping pill didn't help. Instead, it was causing me to have strange hallucinations and feel sick. No more sleeping pills for me. I wonder how I'll fall asleep now...this totally sucks. I couldn't breathe, and I was so frustrated that I wasn't asleep yet that I started crying. I sought out mom and told her I wasn't asleep yet (she woke up), and then she came back to my room with me to comfort me...but her sweet words made me cry more. She readjusted my pillow so it was more like I was sitting up, instead of laying down...that's how I fell asleep...that was finally I think around 5 or 6 am. *sigh* So I didn't get many hours of sleep...I'm tired of this...I'm tired of everything...but not tired enough to fall asleep. Oh, and the stupid wind knocking the shudders...it's terrible; I hate the wind...it kept jolting me awake...scaring me. I'll be brief about yesterday. I went over Madii's house to have fun with her and Kupo. After arriving, we went to pick up Kupo (her real name's Sian) and get some lunch. We brought it back, talked for a while, and then played Karaoke revolution. Ok, sounds fun, right? But remember I mentioned before that these friends have a different sense of humor...every other sentence includes profanity, and sure, I laugh at that...I find most stuff they say funny, but I certainly can't join in on their conversations like that. I don't curse so it's like I'm "left out." >> I'm also left out because they like to talk about bands/musicians, and I don't know a thing about anything. They may like some manga and anime, but that's not enough to fill a conversation. So I mainly just sat there, listening to them talk...it wasn't that fun. I mainly laugh not to seem out of the loop, though I totally am. *sigh* We had fun singing...though her PS2 didn't work well and wouldn't load the one game. I'm not saying their bad friends; they're really nice to me and all...I just sometimes think that I don't fit in...and that they probably don't have much fun with me there. They just probably feel forced to invite me...but oh well. Madii is my only friend I know well in college with me anyway. Kupo is going to study in England next fall semester. (she's been saving up money so far this year) Madii's boyfriend is going to transfer to our college though...and I'm worried about that because then they'll be together all the time. *sigh* No more me. When I got home, I made/finished up some artwork...so please comment/vote/download. I'd really appreciate it. I know most people are busy with school now, and that's why I barely have any downloads, but hey, it's featured somehow. [for now] This is my last week of break...so I need to enjoy it somehow...here's my art, a wallpaper and drawing. Hosted By theOtaku.com. Ophelia In Peace Hosted By theOtaku.com. Ok, that's all for me. My mom said I should probably go to the doctor about my sinuses and not sleeping...so I wonder when I'll do that. *sigh* Sorry for not commenting much, and I can't guarantee much today...it depends on how I feel. I also don't know if I'll post tomorrow or not...sorry. Well, have a good day! Good luck with everything you're doing! [edit:My mom called her doctor to see if I could get an appointment. I don't know when they can see me though...]

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Monday, January 7, 2008

Warning: thanks, sleep tips, yesterday/wallpapers, friends, upsets, & dog pics again

Thank you all so much for the comments!! Thank you, thank you. You're all so sweet. Everyone who commented after Doas was shocked to see how long her comment was! XD Doas, thanks a ton. *laugh* But you guys should know that most of that was filled with "how to fall asleep better" lists that she copied and pasted. And thank you very much for those. Wow, I was amazed at how many comments I got...Sundays are usually pretty slow, and lately people have been busy so I'm really grateful for the comments. Shizuka, Harumi, Desi, and maybe others as well, it's been quite some time (especially for Harumi) so I'm glad you came back. ^^ I haven't been forgotten! Hehe, I'm glad everyone thought Totoro was adorable, especially that one next the wafer box. XD I'll put the pics in this one again. Aya, you were the only one to comment on his evilness, and I literally LOL-ed at your comment about using a stick to pet him. XD Anyhoo, thanks a ton again to everyone! Wow, I actually got to read all the comments before posting! And now I'm posting when I've been starting to lately...I woke up 20 minutes earlier than usual (yeah, that's it, but still...) in hopes that that'll help me sleep better? ^^; *sigh* I've been looking up "how to sleep well" online, and everything's the same (just like you said, doas): drink hot milk, create a sleep ritual, only sleep in your bed (don't do anything else like work or reading), exercise earlier on during the day, eat a small snack before bed, etc. -__- Nope. Not gonna work. How about cold milk? I drink cold milk all the time so why doesn't that work?? I go on my laptop (like now) in my bed, but that's cause I have nowhere else to do it. Anyhoo...I thought I was going to sleep well last night cause I was tired!! But no. I was afraid to sleep this time...for some reason I thought I'd suffocate and die. *sigh* I totally have a sleep phobia! T__T Tonight better be BETTER. So...yesterday...was in no way exciting. It went by so quickly, and I did nothing. I can't even think of little details that might make it more interesting for you guys to read about...so I won't bother. I didn't make a new wallpaper, but I deleted two (only 2; I could've deleted more) of my older wallpapers. They were complete eyesores so I got rid of them. They were OLD and didn't have many downloads anyway. There are a lot of my older wallpapers that are absolutely horrid, and I could go deleting all of them [like what sweetdevil did], but I won't. I like my high amount of downloads. XD And it also gives you a sense of how I've improved as a waller; from crappily extracted screenshots on a simple gradient, to the texture wallpapers I've been making lately. It's funny though, that my first wallpapers (the Get Backers ones) are still my most popular. ^^; And one of my somewhat recent ones, the BoogiePop Phantom one (which I really liked) has the second to least amount of downloads on mine, just cause it's from an "unpopular" anime! Well, that's enough about my wallpapers! I could actually do a wallpaper rant and another rant about things, but I won't. ^^; I'll suppress my rantage for now. Umm...I visited everyone that updated yesterday (that I saw), and I felt darn good about that. We'll see about today though; I can only do my best, which isn't very good these days. I don't know what we're going to do today, but it's probably nothing. -___-; Tomorrow, however, I'm going out with friends again! OMG. 2 times within 4 days?? Absurd. But it's true. I mentioned it yesterday; my friends Madii and Kupo (different from those I was with on Saturday) want me to come over to just "chill." That means "bring over the karaoke revolution games, and we'll sing our hearts out!" XD I hope that goes well. Like I said, I'm suddenly not as funny when I'm with them though; their sense of humor is cruder and always involves a lot of cursing. ^^; I don't curse, so yeah. Anyhoo, because of that [doing things with my friends, NOT the cursing!], I don't think I'll post tomorrow...provided I really do go over there and do things. Ok, now a few things that have been upsetting: 1. Our old house still hasn't sold. It's been on the market for almost a year [a year on the 15th], and it's still not sold. This has been creating SO much stress on my dad...money-wise and everything. Well, stress on everyone, but yeah. 2. My mom isn't any better with those "allergies." She can't even come in my room without having a reaction [burning face, stuffed up sinuses, etc.], and it's just gotten worse since before. I can see the stress in my mom's face...and she's looking older and older. :( This has been going on for about 2 years now...*sigh* And it's what caused my initial depression. 3. My poor baby Totoro has hurt himself again. He can't walk well and isn't acting himself...and right when he was getting better from before, too!! T__T Here are those pics of my doggie Totoro again, if you didn't see them: Totoro Pic 1 | Totoro Pic 2 | Totoro Pic 3 | Totoro Pic 4 Sorry, I think this post just keeps getting longer [though it's shorter than previous days']...it turns out I DID have things to say, huh? ^^; Well, that's what this place is for, right? Just getting everything out of our minds and off our chests, whether it's good or bad. Thanks for visiting me, sorry for anything I can apologize for, and have a wonderful couple of days.

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Sunday, January 6, 2008

Warning: thanks, no sleep again, yesterday w/friends, wp, stuff, & dog pics

Oh dear, again, I keep getting on my computer to post later...because I keep sleeping later. So I better start typing! Thanks for the comments! It's felt like forever since I last posted...though it's only been two days, there were really 3-4 days possible to comment. Anyhoo, thank you all for the advice and whatnot. You're all so sweet to think of me and try to help me...what with my brother and lack of sleep etc. Perios, Roleni-chan, doas, Midnight shadow-chan, Insane, Stixx...sweetdevil, and probably other people, too, thank you very much for visiting me again! i've missed you guys. ^^ Well, sorry, no specific replies yet again...maybe if I woke up 20 minutes earlier and didn't peruse the wallpaper section first...anyhoo, thanks again. Ok, so I'm a failure at sleeping yet again. That's not surprising anymore, huh? I think it's been like this for a good 2-3 weeks now. -___- I can't sleep well on my own anymore...I lay there and lay there; I think I'm tired and about to fall asleep, but my mind keeps me up! I need to research how to fall asleep naturally. So yeah, sleeping pills have been coming in handy lately. *sigh* And don't anyone tell me anything about those! I've already heard the, "You shouldn't take them. They're dangerous. You could get addicted." Yeah, ok. [I only take half a pill or less to fall asleep] Anyhoo, I had another sobbing dream...I was crying so hard in my dream, and i could've when I woke up, but I stopped myself. It felt so real, too (the crying in the dream). I hate it. So...I bet you all have been wondering where I was! Or not! I guess it doesn't matter. It felt like a long break for me, but some of you go away from MO for weeks at a time. XD A "long time" for me means 2 days. Hah. I could've not posted today either, but I have goodies to show you, so yeah. And things to tell...like the fact that I actually went out yesterday with friends!! O__o Yes, "friends." You know, acquaintances, old classmates, people you talk to...those. Karen, my friend since high school (we don't go to college together though), and just about the only friend to ever contact me to do things, called the other day. I didn't pick up...like usual...instead, we decided by email. So yesterday was the day to do things with her, her twin sister Laura, Kin, and Phil [ugh about that guy, he's always been annoying, used to be karen's boyfriend]. Btw, we don't go to the same colleges; they're all friends from high school. The first place of destination was Starbucks. I can't stand coffee, but I got a hot chocolate, which wasn't that great. The great thing was that since Karen worked there, she got a discount, and paid for all of us! ^^ We spent some time there, playing cards [I won; no gambling of course] and talking, and then we waited for Karen's mom to come back to take us to the mall. We had to take some detours first, and I was showing off my directional skills. XD I apparently know how to get anywhere within a 40 minute (or so) distance...like I know all the roads and, "No, you should've turned there. If you went that way, turned right, and went straight a bit, you'd end up ___" Stuff like that. ^^; I don't know street names at all, but I can picture the areas in my mind! So I interrupted a lot of conversations with that...and Karen said that I SHOULD drive since I'm good at directions already...but I answered with, "My dad doesn't want me to." And It's true... So the car ride was fun. Yes, it really was! This group of friends is the one where I can feel "popular" with them...I can feel loved for once. They laugh at all my jokes and everything...it's great. Sometimes I think that I might be too sarcastic at times, but I'm hoping not. Anyhoo, so once at the mall, there wasn't much special happenings. I went to Borders first to exchange that duplicate Loveless manga vol.3 to get 4 and a couple other manga. Then we went to this jewelry store, and Karen got her ears pierced for the first time. My ears aren't pierced anymore...I got them done in 3rd grade but didn't take good care of them...so they sealed up. ^^; We ate and did a little more shopping, though like usual, no one else bought anything. XD After we were done, Kin had to go to work, and we disbanded. I got picked up and went home. At home, I visited a few people (a FEW, sorry!!!) and made a new wallpaper. So please check it out!! It's not featured, which is disappointing, but oh well. Please comment/download. Hosted By theOtaku.com. So after that busy day, I thought I'd sleep well at night...but no, that wasn't the case. :( Better luck next time, right? Well, this is my last week of break...and then it'll be back to the grind so hopefully then I'll sleep better and be happier, too. Though I'm not sure about the "happy" part. Yesterday was good because, like I said, that group of friends actually appreciate me and my humor. Madii and Kupo want me to do things on tuesday, and I probably will, but I'm suddenly not as "cool" in their group. ^^; But they're still my nice friends. Anyhoo, in lieu of an amv, I have pictures of my dog, Totoro to show you. A while back you guys wanted to see them, so here they are. I hope lots of people visit today to see them. The first couple are before his haircut, and then last 2 are after (take a few days ago). [most show how small he is; he's a miniature poodle] Totoro Pic 1 | Totoro Pic 2 | Totoro Pic 3 | Totoro Pic 4 Sorry, this post was pretty long...but my posts always are, right? It wouldn't be me without them. I'm sorry for my break...umm...from commenting especially. I just don't get as much computer time. At tops, I might get a total of 2 hours of time online per day, and I use a half-hour or so to post. ^^; And then if I want to make a wallpaper, too...yeah. Anyhoo, thanks for visiting me, and have a great day!

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Thursday, January 3, 2008

Warning: thanks, sleep ugh, game hunt, wp, & sorry

Argh, again, I'm wasting time...I've been staying in bed too long!!! And I'm a somewhat slow reader so I still haven't read all your comments. :( But thank you all just the same!! Emmah, Saijinto, Mami-chan, and possibly others people, too, thanks so much for commenting again. ^^ It was great seeing you!!! Just do your best with commenting, right? Some of you have resolutions to do that better, but it's ok...I guess. ^^; After all, I'd be a hypocrite otherwise. Anyhoo, thanks a ton for the comments on my wallpaper....hehe, I know the fangirls took a great liking to it. [bonitachika especially!] XD Hot guys = great wallpaper, right? Hehe. As for school and waking up, yeah, I'm in college...but waking up in any single-digit time is torture for me. Skomie, sorry you have to get up SO early! That's terrible! I used to get up at 6:30 for my high school. -__- Well, enough of that, just thank you all so very much for everything...sorry again I haven't read them yet to fully reply! UGH. I'm tired!!!!!! I hate trying to sleep!!!! I swear, I think I've forgotten how to fall asleep! I just don't know how anymore. It doesn't matter if I exercise or get out of the house, my mind just doesn't shut up. I keep thinking, "Am I asleep yet? I'm going to sleep soon! Sleeeeep!!!" .___. *sigh* What time do most of you go to bed? And then when do you usually fall asleep? I should probably go to bed earlier...though midnight-12:30-ish is earlier than I remember some of you mentioning during break. Some of you would go to bed at 4am voluntarily! O__o I'm lying in bed TRYING to sleep still then! So last night, I finally fell asleep after 3 though...but thanks to a sleeping pill (part of one, I never take a whole). And now we're out...so tonight it's do or die. *sigh* I don't want it to ever be nighttime again! T__T Though I like sleeping once I'm asleep...bah. Anyhoo, I had odd dreams involving friends and people from all times. Like elementary school. In one dream, I was back with my second grade class and teacher [though in my dream, everything looked different]. Weird stuff. Anyhoo... On to the rest of my boring life. I wasn't going to post today, but I made a wallpaper (yes, another one...) and actually went out yesterday. I wanted to get out of the house, but I didn't want to go grocery shopping and errand-running with my mom...so Corey and I went out to do some "game hunting", if you will. The initial plan was to just go to Toys R Us and use my gift card from D from my b-day to buy the second Phoenix Wright game. Well, no dice. They didn't have it...they had the third one, but I wanted to play them in order. So instead, MY gift card was spent on games that I didn't even want! *sigh* Corey picked out some games "for me to play," but how the heck do I play PSP games when I don't have a PSP?? Neither of us do! He only got them because they were on sale. He'll buy anything if it's a reduced price, good or not, useful or not. The thing that bugged me was that it was MY gift card, and I should've been able to use it on things that I wanted...but no... After that, we went to a GameStop to see if they had the second Phoenix Wright. They didn't either, but I asked the worker guy about it. He was nice, but he had this air of being a jerk...and the girl working there said he was a jerk, too. XD They were both telling me about the new Phoenix Wright game and how I should play that one. YEAH, I will...once I get the second one. -__- She mentioned something about a pink sweater and Phoenix being adorable...hmm...but anyhoo, so the guy searched and found that another nearby gamestop had it! He called them and confirmed and told them to hold it for me. Just, eww, he now knows my name. I don't know, but that guy seemed really creepy...anyhoo, Corey, the lazy bum, wanted me to buy him this game [with his gift card though], but well, I couldn't. It was rated "Mature", and I don't have a license of any kind to show...bah! I'm 19!! v__v On with the story...sorry...so we went to that other game place and got it finally...yay...I should've been really happy, but I just wasn't at all. I was pretty depressed all day, especially being with my brother. he always puts a damper on things, and he always takes away fun from me. I NEVER ask or tell him to do anything, but he's constantly ordering me around...anything that's mine is his; sure, I can also play the games he buys, but they're HIS. And now I have to pay him back for my game since I used his gift card, even though he essentially used ALL $40 of mine, when I only used $12 of his. Stupid. Stupid. He just gets on my nerves so much...he's always taking advantage of me. And he made me do so much "socializing" yesterday. It's hard for me to talk to clerks and buy things...very stressful...and he knows that, but he made me do it since he's lazy. I don't like this. *sigh* And so the rest of yesterday I felt like crap...but I made a wallpaper so please check it out. Hosted By theOtaku.com. Sorry! This post is getting really long, isn't it??? And it's about my one outing yesterday, which you probably don't care about. I'm sorry. And sorry about not commenting much again. I'll do my best today...I won't make a wallpaper to take up my time...but I don't know since I do a lot of visiting before bed, but I think I should go to bed earlier and not be on the computer. Maybe that's screwing up my sleep. -__- *sigh* Sorry. And I don't think I'll post tomorrow...or much this weekend...I'm always wasting your time. Bah!! .___. Sorry!! No amv today either...don't feel like it. Have a great couple of days and thanks for visiting me!

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Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Warning: thanks, sleep, visiting/sorry, yesterday, wp, school, & amv

All of you guys are sweethearts! *huggles* I love you guys!! That's all I can really say. XD I've said it a bajillion times so you already know that. I got lots of comments again, which I was surprised about, so thanks triply much. *hugs* I haven't had the time to read them all yet though, sorry. :( I've only read the last few! Like yours, Aya, about dancing...well, I just love it. I took every dance class in high school so I find everything fun: ballet, Spanish, swing, hip-hop, anything. Hehe. ^^ Thanks for all the "happy new years" again! And most of you were really reassuring me about VV! Good! I'm sure lots of people will be happy to know that the html will stay the same. *nods* Or, well, so you guys have said, so I hope so!! ^^; Thanks for the comments on my e-card, too. And just thanks for everything! I know lots commented that haven't in a while, so I'm really happy to hear from you. ^_^ Like Stixx, MDA, demon dragon, filo, Lys, and anyone else. Thanks again! That thanks and reply section could go on forever; I know it! But I didn't get to read all the comments yet so sorry. :( Lately I've been waking up later and later...because of my trouble sleeping. ^^; And I post after I wake up...that's my computer time to do that...so if I get up TOO late, then yeah, short post, no post, or something like that. Sorry! It took a bit, but I slept last night...I couldn't breathe again because my sinuses are death. My mind was going and going...I was thinking about all sorts of things, and mostly not good ones. I was thinking about how skewed my relationship with my brother is...how odd and just how much he's really made an [bad] impact on me. [though some good as well] I was thinking about posting about that, but I have a feeling that if I did, this post would go on for a long time...so yeah, I won't. ^^;; Back to sleeping, I had some strange dreams, but this time they weren't bad at least. *nods* SOooooo many people updated yesterday, especially friends that haven't in a long time or I just haven't gotten to visit lately. I feel bad cause I didn't get to visit most. :( I visited several during the day, and I thought I could finish up at night, but I didn't get much time! I was finishing my wallpaper for too long a time [I was really indecisive with it] and at night, before bed, when I usually do more visiting, I was helping Yaya-chan with her site. ^^;; So hopefully today I can comment those that I didn't get to yesterday. I'm sorry again if I didn't get to you. I actually wasn't even going to post today cause of that, but since I made a wallpaper...yeah. Umm, do I care too much about visiting? Just wondering...cause it seems like a lot of you don't stress over it too much. ^^; Anyhoo, so yesterday...was...well, it was New Year's day. But it was just like any other day. Nothing special happened that I can think of...Derek came over for dinner...hmmm. Yeah, nothing special. I made a wallpaper like I said. Somehow it's featured. I don't know how really. I'm not sure if I really like it or not! I'm afraid it's too plain, and I just don't know. But apparently more people like it than me! It's of 3 of the guys from the manga (and anime now, too) La Corda D'Oro. I've been reading the manga, and I really like it. :3 It's full of good-looking guys. XD So yeah, please comment/download if you want! Hosted By theOtaku.com. Hmm...some of you will be going back or may already be going back to school. That sucks. My break lasts until the 14th, and then i have to start a new semester...and I'm not looking forward to it. I'm not going to have as much "time off" I guess you could say. No one-class days...most of them I have to stay until 3:40. It's totally lame. All of my days start at 10am, too [that means waking up at 9]. -__- I used to have some that started at 11:30, which was great. Bleh. Anyhoo...I should finish this post up. I'll go find an amv I guess. I don't remember if I've shown this one before; it's an Air one with the Wolf's Rain song "Cloud 9", sung by Maaya Sakamoto. Enjoy! Thanks soooooooo much for visiting me. *hugs* Whether you do it every time I post or not, I don't mind. I love hearing from you whenever. Sorry again for not commenting as much as I should. :( Well, have a great day! [I might not post tomorrow!]

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