Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Warning: thanks, new year eve/sleep, yesterday/card, 2007 reflections, & major thanks

Holy---! I got so many comments! I used to get that many and more during the summer...I think. XD But lately I haven't so I was really surprised! *hugs* I think it was because it was the new year, and also because I wrote such a short post. ^^;; It's easier for people to comment short posts than my usual long ones. Sorry about it being so crappy though. I know some of you really enjoy reading my usual long posts. Most of you were surprised that I actually made it short, too! Well, that's what happens when you don't get any sleep and just can't manage to type much up. Thank you all so very very much for the comments. *hugs* All of the people that haven't been by in a while...well, I've certainly missed, and it was nice seeing you again. ^^ Thanks again for the sleeping advice and the "Happy new year"s. You're all so wonderful. Thank you very much again!! [and thanks for checking out my wallpaper] Happy new year!! I'm sure some of you "partied" or at least did something exciting on new year's eve. I know I didn't. It was just like every other night...except that we were (minus dad) staying up watching the basketball game. Anyhoo, I was playing Phoenix Wright some more, and I practically finished it! Well, I thought I finished it since the credits were rolling, but there's an extra chapter. XD Yay. It's such a good game! I'll need the others. But man, I thought that it was going to be another cause for celebration, my first "success" of 2008--finishing a video game right after midnight...in the first hour of the new year. Oh well. But one of our b-ball players (our team is the Sixers) made a 3-pointer right at the end of the New Year countdown! It was awesome! XD Anyhoo, I slept last night, and I could've slept all day...but I wouldn't dare do that. I barely remember my first dream of the year...oh well. So yesterday wasn't much different from other days...but my brother and dad went metal detecting, leaving me to have some time to myself. During that time, I made an e-card and played DDR! Yes, Aya, I took your (and many other people's suggestions) to do a little exercise. I haven't danced in months. I was still really good at it, too. I guess I should do that more often...maybe it would make me more tired and likely to sleep at night. ^^; Um, so here's my e-card. It was meant for the new year, but I keep switching its category...cause it's not exactly "Happy new year!" It's more dealing with love and/or being inspirational...but yeah. It's a Howl's Moving Castle one. Please comment if you want. Hosted By theOtaku.com. I might make a wallpaper in a similar fashion...since that's what I was going to do with the scan in the first place. Sorry some of you didn't really care much for how i made my last wallpaper. :( I thought it was cool though. ANYHOO, now I shall take the time to do some...errr...2007 reflections? Kind of? Overall, it pretty much sucked, but I'll try to list good things. Well, the year started off terribly because we moved from our old house of 16 years into this new one because of the whole "kitchen renovation causes mom's horrid allergies/illness" crap. Our house still hasn't sold, and my mom still has those darn reactions. -___- Um, as for school, I graduated high school, got into the college of my choice...and have gotten straight A's so far. As far as MyO goes, I had my 1st year anniversary (it's on Valentine's day), made over 200 wallpapers with now over 20,000 downloads, got into the top 500, and I've made SOOOOO many wonderful new friends. So yeah, now I'd just like to say an extra big THANK YOU to all of my friends on here. Thanks for sticking with me this past year...with all of my ups and downs (mainly downs!), with my complaints, lack of comments, and just anything. I don't know what I would've done without you guys. ^^; Honestly. I'm not the type to have many friends in "real life" nor confide in others when I'm really having trouble, so that's why I'm so glad that I found MyO and have been able to create wonderful and new friendships via this site. ^_^ *hugs* I'm sorry if I ever hurt any of you, and I'm sorry if sometimes things I've said have been plain ol' ridiculous and made you doubt my friendship. I really appreciate all of you. I can't do specific shoutouts since I have too many great friends here, and i wouldn't want to leave anyone out. XD Some of you have done specifics, and I wasn't there so I know I sorta felt bad! Like was I not that great of a friend? If so, then I'm sorry. :( So that's why I'm not doing that. Just know that I love all of you. Thank you for being with me, and I HOPE to stay friends with you all during 2008 now. Speaking of which, when is version vibrant, well, happening? ^^; Several of you have been really worrying about it...worrying about how it will be set up and if we can customize our sites and whatnot. I'm just as worried. But I hope that it doesn't alter things so much that none of us would want to stay. :( If anyone has any info, please tell me. Anyhoo...I guess I'll leave it at that. I won't put in an amv. Sorry I didn't visit everyone yesterday; I surprisingly got to a lot despite my feeling like crap, but I didn't get to everyone. But HAPPY NEW YEAR again. *hugs* Have a great one! Thanks again for visiting me!

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Monday, December 31, 2007

Warning: short post from lack of sleep, spend the coming of the new year well

Thanks so much for the comments, guys. This post isn't going to be a normal one...it's going to be super short, though I wish that wasn't the case. I was going to do this whole nice thanking section and section for my "accomplishments" this past year...2007. I was also going to talk about the hardships I, along with my family, have had to go through...just things about this year in general. But now I can't. ^^;; And I can't read your comments yet either...I'm sorry. It's because of a terrible night last night. It was as bad or worse as that night from last week...I was stuck laying in bed, AWAKE, suffering from insomnia...until past 6am. *sigh* So yeah, I didn't get much sleep... And I really don't want to bother you with a long post either. ^^; I don't know how I can keep my eyes open. I wasn't even going to post today, but I made a new wallpaper, and I'd like you guys to comment and download it if you can. ^_^ Thanks so much. It's featured. I like this one...thank goodness I quit the failure of a Loveless wallpaper I was making before and did this one instead. Again, please check it out. Thank you! Hosted By theOtaku.com. Thank you all for being my friends over the past years....and this year i made many new friends on theO. Thank you. Tomorrow's the new year, so are you looking forward to it? Any plans? Any resolutions? I don't make resolutions. I don't find a point to them...I wouldn't make them come true anyway. ^^; I guess I'll be "ringing in" the new year just like any other night...staying up reading. *sigh* I just hope I can sleep better tonight. Thanks a billion for everything, you guys. Sorry I couldn't read your comments at the moment. I'm also sorry if I don't visit much...my mood has been getting in the way. It's hard to focus on others' lives when mine is dizzying me...feeling depressed almost everyday isn't what I'd call fun. I'm hoping that 2008 will be better...though I hate seeings years go by like this. Well, umm...I guess that's all I can muster right now. I feel sick...so I'm going to lay back down now. Have a great NEW YEAR!!!

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Sunday, December 30, 2007

Warning: thanks, another day, emo-ness, yesterday, grades, sorry, & amv

Awww, thank you, my dearies, for the wonderful comments. I got SO many this time! But a couple people commented twice, and I didn't post yesterday, but still. Amazing. Thanks so much. And I have another new friend!! DaFeather, welcome to my site! I'm glad to have you as my friend now. I know that several of my friends here already know you. ^^ Kaisap, Madarame, Rachel (mewmew lover), StarFire, and thoa-kun (wow, a lot), so nice to hear from you again. Probably other people, too...it's so great seeing familiar faces. Stephy (kawaiikitten), I'll miss you. I'm sorry you have to leave. :( Anyhoo, thanks to everyone for everything. Yeah, my first time ice skating and riding a bike in many years. To some of you, it sounded ridiculous not knowing how to do those things, but some of you were in the same boat as me. XD Yes, I did make "friends" with some little kids at the rink...they were so cute, and I was compelled to help them. After all, it was our first times skating! Well, thanks again for everything. Yeah, no, I didn't post yesterday...I knew I wasn't going to be in the mood to or something. Anyhoo, it's getting nearer to the new year, isn't it?? Darn it. Yup, it's another day...ANOTHER freaking day. I can't believe it. Aya, thanks a ton for your comment; you're so knowledgeable about so many things. I didn't know that about how we perceive time!! But I still don't like it! These days are going by so quickly, and I feel like I'm wasting every one of them. I can't believe it each day when it gets to be 9:30pm...I'm like, WHAT??? How is it that late already? Where'd my day go?? T__T And when it reaches midnight..."CRAP. Now it's time to go back to bed...and attempt sleeping again...same old, same old." And that same old isn't good. I haven't been sleeping well lately, and yesterday I woke up crying again. This sucks majorly. I never have good dreams, and every night is a struggle to sleep. So what's the point??? Then I wake up and it's back to being another day...probably just as uneventful as the last. Sorry. I'm always starting out in such a pessimistic manner, aren't I? Well, I just seem to be a "glass half-empty" person these days...that's why, instead of looking to the new year as, "Oh good! A NEW year! Fresh start!" I'm, "Well, there went another year...great...another one gone, and it sucked." *slumps* Sorry!!!! Umm...I'll move on to talking about yesterday...which was, of course, another nothing day. My mom and dad went out and did some shopping, leaving my brother and I at home. *sigh* That's no different than pretty much every other day. I've been playing more Phoenix Wright lately...I'm getting into it more and more. XD It's so fun solving these cases and finding my clients innocent! ^^ We watched Zatoichi (movie, 2003, Beat Takeshi), and it's still really good! We went to see it in a special little movie theater when it first came out. It's an awesome movie so I recommend it if you haven't seen it. I didn't make a new wallpaper...I worked on one, but it wasn't working out. ^^;; It was becoming a total failure so I quit. Instead, I tried using my tablet to DRAW something. Well, for one, I barely draw anymore, and two, my tablet isn't that great. Like I said, whenever I draw on it/use it the pen basically cuts into the plastic cover on it (no, that's not meant to come off; it's attached) and creates indents. It's really stupid...and it makes it hard to use! So I partially drew an elf girl...by partially, I mean just her face. And since I never draw on the computer, nor know how to do anything really as far as coloring...it's all on the same layer, and I'm sure I won't be coloring it in...and I doubt I'll finish and submit it either. I SUCK. *sigh* I find the things I'm able to do lately to be diminishing...except for get good grades. I checked my grades for my first semester, and I got all A's. Yay. I should be happy, and I guess I am, but I wasn't excited upon seeing them...and my parents were congratulating me, saying we should do something to celebrate, but I don't see much of a point. They're just grades. .___. Sorry. This post is turning out to be boring and emo-paced. I just haven't been chipper at all lately...I just find myself not caring about anything; I never seem to have an opinion anymore...I'm indecisive...I just don't care. *sigh* I don't even know what I like to do anymore. ^^; And I don't know what to do about it either. Maybe it's because of my lack of sleep, my bad dreams, my mom suffering with those "allergies," my family being stressed over money matters, or maybe it's just that I'm constantly with an older brother that puts me down all the time. v___v Sorries. I've gots nothing else interesting to talk about...please forgive me. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't find anything to comment on here. ^^;; If you want, feel free to check out my wallpapers that maybe you haven't commented on. Here's an amv. It's with the second (i think) Darker than Black opening song, Kakusei Heroism by Antic Cafe. And it's to one of my all time favorite anime, City Hunter. It's an 80's anime...totally hilarious with just as much action. It's great. So yeah, enjoy if you wanna watch it. Yes, another post done...I hope I haven't depressed anyone. ^^; I hope I haven't chased anyone off. I also hope that I haven't made any of you sick of me being this way. *hugs* Thanks so much for visiting. I'll try to visit as well. I don't know if I'll post tomorrow...we'll just see. Have a good day!

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Friday, December 28, 2007

Warning: thanks, another day, skating adventure, new wp, stuff, & amv

Thanks to everyone for your wonderful comments!! 11 [as I'm typing this up now, unless more comment while I'm typing!] again! I've been getting around that amount a lot lately. XD It's funny because I used to have this running streak of comments always being odd numbers like 11 and 13. XD Anyhoo, I appreciated everything said! I'm glad you guys liked my Squall wallpaper! And I see that several of you haven't ridden a bike in a while either. Hehe, yeah, it's tough, isn't it?? ^^; Koten, Driffter, Harvey, and Anna-chan, it was nice hearing from you again!! It's been quite some time, especially you Harvey. >> And Koten! *hugs* But yeah, great reading comments from you all again. And I have a new friend, so welcome to swtanimechick!! I'm glad to have another new and wonderful friend! Anyhoo, about my dad, yeah, I see that many of you can empathize...and well, yeah, thanks again for everything. Another day, another day. Sometimes I just can't believe how fast these days go by...how is it another day already? How is it that I'm 19??? How is it that it'll soon be 2008?? T___T Bah. I think time depresses me! I don't want it to pass by this quickly, yet on terrible days, I just want it over with in a snap. And then I think about the future...and I HATE thinking about the future...I'm worried about my life. -__- *sigh* I'm worried about everything that may or may not come to be. Sorry...I'm getting in this mood again...^^;;; *puts that aside* As for my night, I slept ok...but had scary zombie dreams...>> No more watching my brother play DeadRising before bedtime. Though it's not a scary game [it's rather entertaining], my mind picks up anything from the day to incorporate into my dreams, and my mind usually picks up on the worst things and magnifies them. -___-; Sooooooo....I went ice skating yesterday. Yup, just like I said. For once, plans weren't canceled or changed! When we got there, we were amazed at how busy it was! SO crowded!! And I had no clue that the place would be so huge either. It had 4 total rinks, but us commoners were issued to Rink 2. The other ones were used for local hockey team practice and whatnot. The first part was hard, which was getting the ice skates and getting them tied. -___- I had my dad do it, and he tied them SO tightly...like my ankles hurt just from that. People say to be careful with how your skates are tied and be wary of your ankles when skating. Huh. Anyhoo, so when I first got onto the ice...I held onto the edge/side. My dad stayed with me pretty much the whole time [see, he gets frustrated easily at stupid things, but he's nice and fatherly at certain times], and we skated together. Letting go of the edge, I skated off, and I did really well!! It was my first time, but it sure didn't seem like it! Probably because I've had roller blading experience. *nods* The rink was sooo packed--packed full of kids, teens, adults, everyone! And just the same, everyone was falling. XD It was very hard maneuvering around fallen "comrades," if you will. While at the side for a bit, I talked with this little girl who was falling down a lot. She was so cute. ^^ She was probably only 6, and it was her first time as well. So we had some things in common. XD I actually helped out a few little kids that were struggling, as if I had skating experience! Hah! I only fell once! And it was on my knee. ^^;; So now I have a nice big bruise and swelling on my knee, but other than that I'm fine. I was actually hoping to fall more...but that was my inner-depressed-masochist talking. And I don't let them have their way [often]. My brother Corey came along, but he was a party pooper as usual. :( He's pretty much a hypochondriac...and he complained of his ankles hurting the entire time. He fell a couple times, and after falling the second time, he gave up. *sigh* Mom did well, of course, despite it being 30 years for her and dad since they last skated. XD And everyone (though Corey didn't care much) was surprised at how well I did for my first time. ^^ It was really hard though because of the ice. It was SO choppy...not smooth at all, and that's probably why so many people were falling. I got caught on a dent in the ice, and that's how I fell. Anyhoo, after that, we had an idiotic experience at McDonald's with a total dirt-for-brains taking our order, trying to weasel more money out of us...>> but dad and I knew what was right. Then we went home. At home, the usual, and I made a new wallpaper. It isn't featured. :( And it probably won't get to be...though I like it more than my Squall one. I think it's cause a couple people submitted a billion wallpapers all at the same time...pushing mine out of the way. -__- It's of Cloud and Zack from FF7. Please download/comment!!! Hosted By theOtaku.com. Hmm...as for today...nothing that I know of. I can't wait to exchange that duplicate Loveless vol.3 and get #4, the one I needed. XD I wonder when we'll do that? Probably after the New Year. Is the new year something exciting or big for you? Do you do anything special? I don't. It's nothing special for me. I always stay up till midnight reading anyway, so I always welcome the new day at the start. ^^; So the new year is nothing different. Umm...I don't think I"ll post tomorrow. I will if I make a new wallpaper or something really interesting happens today. I visited everyone yesterday (that i saw updated), and let's see if I can do well today, too. Sorry if this post seemed long. It really isn't..I just separated the paragraphs into lots of smaller ones. Well, here's an amv. It's a really good one. The song is Hello Goodbye's "Here in your arms", and it's with a lot of different anime. Enjoy! Thanks a ton for visiting me. *hugs* I love you guys. Sorry if I haven't been that great of a friend lately, but I've been trying...I also hope that this post wasn't too long for you to bare. ^^; Many thanks, and have a great day [or two]!

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Thursday, December 27, 2007

Warning: thanks, night/weather, yesterday, wp, bike, dad, skating, & amv

I need to finish reading your comments...later. I didn't get to read them all yet. ^^; Sorry! *hugs* But don't worry, I certainly will...and I really appreciate them all. Thanks so very much to everyone!! Sesshlu and Cesteel, it was great hearing from you again! *hugs* It's seemed like a while, especially hearing from my imouto-chan, Sesshlu. :3 No, I don't have an ipod, so I can't help ya out there. Nana, yes, the original House on Haunted Hill movie was made...hmm...in the 50's? I don't remember, but it's a Vincent Price movie, black and white. ^^; Yeah, and I was scared of it. Umm, thanks to everyone for the sweet comments about what's been going on with my mom and all...we can only pray she gets better somehow. Alex, another wonderfully long comment from you. :3 I still need to finish reading it. XD Skomie and Ulterego, it's great hearing from you guys more often, too!! It's amazing!! Anyhoo, thanks a ton to everyone. Well, I kinda slept ok last night...I'm not exactly sure if I did. ^^; Cause I remember being awake a lot, or waking up a lot during the night...so sometimes I wasn't sure if I was asleep and then woke up several times, or if I was just awake that whole time. *shrugs* Oh well. I sure did have weird dreams though...like more weird than usual, and some scary ones, too. :( Ugh. I hate my dreams. Well, it's another cloudy day...cloudy and cold but no snow. We got some rain yesterday, which I LOVE, but when it's winter...I want snow!! ^^; Umm...let's see...yesterday was pretty much a nothing day. I was surprised to hear that several of you rarely ever get ANY presents. :( That's somewhat sad...but if it's how you were raised, then I guess you were used to it? I'm not sure...but anyhoo...I can't say that much happened yesterday. Tried out some new games that we got, like Eternal Sonata and Deadrising for the 360, started watching Princess Princess [we got the DVD set for X-mas]; I tried out my tablet more...but not much. I can't say that I like it a lot. ^^;; And that's really disappointing...like I was using it for the wallpaper I was making, and then I just switched back to using the mouse...maybe it's just cause I'm used to it? But I don't know; it doesn't work that great! Bah. Oh well, I'll keep trying it! And here's my new wallpaper...it's somehow featured right now, but it probably won't be for long. It's of Squall from Final Fantasy 8. Please download/comment!!!! I don't like this one as much as my last wallpaper, but eh. Please tell me what you think. ^_^ Hosted By theOtaku.com. I forgot to mention a gift that mom and I got...we both got bikes. Yeah. How could I forget? Those were the largest gifts. XD Anyhoo, so we tried them out in our driveway, and I had no clue what I was doing. Let me tell you, I LEARNED how to ride a bike in 3rd grade, roughly 10 years ago...and I haven't ridden since! So it was like I was learning all over again. I didn't ride it very much because it was freakin' freezing out there, but I tried...and I didn't do too well. ^^; I swear, I think I need training wheels again...I almost fell over several times, and my dad thought I was going to, too! I'm such a baby! ^^;; So whenever it gets warmer, I guess I'm going to learn how to ride a bike again... Some of you were shocked that my dad would be yelling at my mom when she was crying and having that allergic reaction...well, I explained this before, but my dad seems to have issues when it comes to "sympathy" or empathy...or something. When one of us is sick, not feeling well, is miserable...he doesn't say, "Aww, I'm sorry. Is there anything you need?" or anything consoling. He just gets mad. Since my mom has been having these bad reactions for almost 2 years now, and she always has migraines...my dad has a lot to get frustrated about. "You shouldn't be feeling that way! Why are you hurting like that??" *rolls eyes* I think it's more because he's tired of seeing her in pain all the time...so he's just as frustrated as her, but instead of being nice and trying to help, he just yells at her. It's not good, but it's how my dad has always been... :( Anyhoo, I'm adding lots of random things to this post, aren't I? Sorry. ^^; Hopefully it's not too long...and sorry also because I thought i'd visit more people yesterday, and I didn't. I definitely didn't. :( I didn't get much time to do so. I'm sorry. And I'm not sure about today, but I'll try. You know what we're doing today??? Going ice skating!! I've NEVER gone ice skating before!! So this is going to be my first time. I wonder how I'll do?? I hope it's fun. I'm sure I'll get tired...so that will help me sleep tonight (I hope), and getting out of this house, doing something different, will hopefully help my mood as well. Anyhoo, this post is getting to the point of rambling and too long so I guess I'll wrap it up and find an amv. It's an Ojamajo Doremi one (soo cute), and the song is "No One" by Aly & AJ. I like this one. ^^ Enjoy! Well, thank you a ton for visiting me. *hugs* I'm very grateful for such wonderful friends...friends that still visit me even if I haven't gotten to return the favor lately. :( Sorry. Have a wonderful day!

Comments (9) | Permalink

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Warning: thanks, sleep, christmas eve, eve gifts, christmas gifts, crap, & amv

*hugs* Thanks for the comments, my dear friends!! Merry day-after-Christmas! XD Thank you for all of the great holiday wishes and everything. Ulterego, bonitachika, Shizuka, and Eternalparadise, it was great hearing from you again!! Ulterego, I swear, it's been forever! *hugs* Thank you, thank you to everyone. Alex, another wonderfully long comment. I loved reading every sentence of it. ^_^ Hehe, Misuzu will stay with me and keep me happy indeed! Amila, I agree...counting sheep never works. ^^; Anyhoo, I see that most of you have/had different Christmas traditions of you celebrate it! Very interesting. Well, thanks a bunch to all of you again. I finally broke the circle...I SLEPT last night. T__T Ah! I just hope that that trend continues. It was probably because of being tired from not sleeping the past few nights and because of waking up earlier (against my will) yesterday morning to open gifts. I had lots of weird dreams...very strange...I only faintly remember the one that I liked, but I remember the ones I didn't. -___- Oh well. They're only dreams, right? But those are the first dreams I've had in probably 4 nights or 5! The other nights I haven't slept enough to have any. ^^;; So yeah, it's the day after Christmas now. No, I obviously didn't post yesterday. I figured that I wouldn't be missed much, and I also figured I wouldn't have time. XD Anyhoo, I'll start with Christmas Eve. Like I said, my family opens gifts from relatives (distant and immediate) on Christmas eve. So that means gifts from my brothers, my dad, and my aunts etc. [my mom is essentially "Santa" so all of those are opened on Christmas] So yeah, that night was....pretty crappy. -__- *sigh* We were opening our gifts, and then my mom started crying...and crying... :( Because she was getting that stupid f-ing reaction to the wrapping paper. See, her "allergies" to this stuff aren't like sneezing and blowing her nose, they're worse. They make her face burn, swell, make her eyes feel like closing...crap like THAT. That's why this is so serious, and that's why it's also so stupid. She is now allergic to almost anything with chemicals or paint (so that included the wrapping paper). So yeah, the eve wasn't very fun...it was more sad cause I was just trying to comfort mom...and she was crying, and my dad was yelling... Well...yeah, so about the gifts I got then...I got Loveless Vol.2 from Corey, 2 movies from dad (the new and old version of "House on Haunted Hill"; when i first saw the original when I was 7 or so, I was scared to death!! XD), crap from my poor aunt [we tell her not to even give us stuff...she can't afford anything]], and a very special gift from my Aunt Laurie (my dad's sister)--it's the one and only heirloom from my great grandma, her diamond wedding ring. O__o I was so surprised to get that...I've never even met my great grandparents (they died before I could), and I barely know my dad's side of the family. It's an honor to have that...but I'm also like, "Why me? I don't deserve it!!" But yeah...oh, and here's the colored version of my Nami drawing for my brother. Some of you saw it already so thanks. My brother loved it, and it's now hanging on our wall. XD Please comment/vote! Pirate Nami Colored Version Hosted By theOtaku.com. Now to Christmas (sorry if this is getting long). I'll cut to the chase--the gifts. I ended up getting less than past years, but it's fine I guess. I didn't ask for anything so I should be happy with everything I got. I mainly got clothes: a few new jackets/sweaters, a pretty new black skirt, a new robe, new pair of Uggs, socks, and underwear. Oh, and some shirts (like a Haruhi one, though I don't even like the show). XD As for other stuff, I got some manga (5, if you count my brother's gift, and one repeat volume that needs to be taken back/exchanged), adorable Aria gashapon figures (sooooooo cute!!), and well, a tablet for zeh computer. I've wanted a tablet for a while...and I finally got one...BUT, yes, ye ol' "BUT"...it didn't work. It didn't work on my computer. :( My brother D shared the cost of it with my mom, and since he's the "computer whiz", he tried getting it to work/install. He ended up bringing it over to his place, and it worked...so apparently my computer needed some updates. He did that, and then it WORKED, yay. BUT!! (again) It's not made very well. -__- It has this plastic sheet/cover that is the part you use the pen on...and when you press on it, it cuts into it! So I already have permanent ridges in my tablet. *sigh* Oh well. I'll keep trying it, I guess. Aside from gifts, there was also the usual Christmas jealousy, frustration, arguments, disappointments...you know. The crap that just comes along with it. Parents arguing, brother being jealous or disappointed or something over what others got...frustration with my mom and her allergies...*sigh* I haven't had a "joyous" Christmas ever. There's always something that goes wrong. And I was still feeling nauseous yesterday, too...I must still have some sort of virus or something...either that, or my depression has just led me to be permanently sickly. -__- Sorry, anyhoo, this is getting long...and I doubt you have the time to read more! But here's an amv. It's a fun dance one with the Fallout Boy song, "Dance, dance." It's really well made and fun to watch. Enjoy! Sorry!! Long post!!! But I had a lot of stuff to talk about, right?? ^^; Sorry to waste your time...I wonder if many people will visit me...maybe not...but thanks so much if you do. *hugs* I visited some people yesterday, and hopefully I can get to more today. Thanks, and happy holidays!

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Monday, December 24, 2007

Warning: thanks, bad sleep again, yesterday, drawing, Christmas, & amv

*hugs* Thanks for the comments, you guys. Yeah...ummm...OMG!! People from like years ago! *hugs* SKOMIE!! It's literally been a year for you...I'm so happy to hear from you again. ^^ And xxHD, it's been a long time as well! Same with Stixx, Reki [sweet comment, really like Reki, too with the pulling up of the chair!], Vicki-chan, and Desi...well, practically everyone that commented. XD My comments were full of rare people that I love so much! Thanks again for the sweet comments about feeling better and all. I'm also glad you liked my wallpaper. I LOVED that one, too. ^^ I might put all of my recent favorite wallpapers in this one..eh...we'll see. Thank you all again! So....I'm tired as heck. I had another terrible night. T___T 3 nights in a row I've had very little sleep...last night I was awake laying there until past 4 am again. I was SO tired from my 3 hours of sleep the night before, yet I just couldn't fall asleep! No matter how drowsy and comfortable I was, I just couldn't make that "final leap," if you will. I swear...I'm beginning to think I have a fear of sleeping. *sigh* Cause the last night that I slept well on my own was the night I had bad dreams that I woke up crying from. Bleh. I hate this. I HATE THIS. Darn it, it's Christmas Eve! It doesn't even feel like it is...not at all...all I want for Christmas is sleep. Can Santa bring that? -___-; So yesterday was a crappy day...cause of my lack of sleep. I stayed in bed for the longest I ever have, until almost 2 pm. I wasn't sleeping all that time though. *sigh* I laid in bed until past noon, almost 1...and then my mom came to see how I was; she made me toast and tea and I ate it in bed. ^^;; So yeah, that's why I was in bed for so long! But still, I felt like I wasted the day (as if it'd be used better *rolls eyes*). I did so much crying yesterday and the night before...that's probably one reason my eyes hurt so much. At least I cried though. All of that stress and everything...just finally came out. That's why I was hoping I'd sleep well last night...oh well. I felt weak yesterday, and I ached more...coughed some...*sudden thought* Oh right! Stupid full moon!! >< That's probably the reason I haven't been able to sleep...it's like I have dog instincts or something...whenever there's a full moon, I can never sleep...*sigh* Bah!!! Anyhoo, so I don't really remember much of yesterday, other than I was working on my brother's birthday gift of drawing Nami (One Piece) when the electricity went out. Yeah. First time ever we had a power outage during the winter like that!! O__o We had terribly strong winds yesterday and some rain, and it was warmer than usual (really crazy)...so it was more like a summer thunderstorm than anything. We didn't have power all during dinnertime...for about an hour. At least that was it, but still. So anyhoo, I drew Nami for Corey's present...submitted it here, too. I'm hoping to outline her with ye ol' black marker today and color her to the best of my abilities (which isn't very well) today...because it's Christmas Eve!! In my family, we open gifts from family members today, and then "Santa" gifts tomorrow on Christmas morning. How do you guys do it? [if you celebrate Christmas] So yeah, here's my drawing...you really need to click on the thumbnail to look at it because my drawing style is so light. ^^;; No wonder I only got one vote. Please comment and vote!! PLEASE! I don't draw too often, so yeah. Pirate Thief Nami Hosted By theOtaku.com. [edit: I finished coloring it in, so please look if you can!!] Pirate Nami Colored Version Hosted By theOtaku.com. Umm...also yesterday, finished watching Haibane Renmei for the 5th time or so since first watching it several years ago. XD It's such a gooooood show...really sad, makes you think, and is just amazing. I mean, there's humor in it, but there's more sad stuff. Claes (I call her Reki from the show, and she calls me Rakka) loves HR as well and can also recommend it. :3 Anyhoo, I didn't exactly get everyone Christmas gifts...since I don't really have the means to do so....so I feel kinda bad. :( I'm drawing Corey's gift, "bought" a gift off of dad to give to mom, re-gifting a gift for dad, and mom's getting me something today to give to D. ^^;; Argh. I feel bad. Um, anyhoo, sorry I didn't make a more personalized card for you guys! I just made the one I submitted here...but you know I love you guys and wish you all the best. I'm also sorry about my lack of comments...if only I felt better these past days. I could barely look at the screen and read yesterday. Today will probably be no different so I'm sorry. And I'm pretty sure I'm not posting tomorrow. XD Well, I was going to post some of my recent favorite wallpapers here...but eh, it's ok. It would just waste space I guess. Plus, barely anyone really comments on them anyway. Thanks to those that do. I'm really glad you like them. I do my best! ^^; I suppose I'll bring this post to an end. Here's an amv...it's somewhat Christmas-y. It's that Vandread one with GooGoo Doll's "Better Days." I love that song...it's so sweet! But it is Christmas-related, so yeah. Enjoy! Thank you, thank you...thank you all for being my wonderful friends. *hugs* I'm sorry if I haven't been my usual self lately and all. Whether that be with my mood or commenting...sorry. Oh, I have a lot of PM's to reply to...thanking you guys for X-mas cards. They're all wonderful. ^_^ So yeah, have a wonderful Christmas, holiday season, or just plain old monday and tuesday. Whatever floats your boat. Have a good one!

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Sunday, December 23, 2007

Warning: thanks/pre-written, worst night ever, goodies, sick...blah...crap

I always feel weird typing up posts ahead of time...but that's what I'm doing now. XD Because today we're going to church, and that means a lack of posting time. Yeah. So this will be shorter than most of my posts...thanks SOOOO MUCH for the wonderful comments. I haven't yet read them all, but there were so many...and they were so long! *hugs* I feel so loved, and I love you guys all back. Lots of people commented that haven't in a while, too! So thank you very much for coming back to visit me. ^_^ I can guess that most of you said encouraging and sweet words to me about feeling depressed and whatnot...so I'll definitely read them when I find the time! I appreciate all of your caring feelings towards this complete stranger. ^^; It's amazing. So yeah, thank you all again! [edit:since this post was written the night before...well, it didn't contain last night's sleep...well, LACK of. *sigh* Worst night ever. Nauseous, achy...everything in between...I went to bed at midnight, and by the time I fell asleep, I could almost see the sun rise. It was that bad. Being awake, trying to sleep, for 6 hours is torture...I think my mind/body has forgotten how to fall asleep...either that, or I'm AFRAID to fall asleep. *sigh* I threw up this morning, and even though it's almost noon, I should still be trying to sleep...sorry, don't expect comments from me today...I'm just too miserable. I cried so much last night, too. *sigh* Sorry...you may now continue with the pre-written post...oh, and we obviously didn't make it to church today. I'm going to go collapse now.] Well, I think I have a bit of a flu. Very timely, no? *rolls eyes, slumps* -___- I've got the aches all over, and I suppose my nose is stuffier than usual...but that is hard to tell because I always have horrid allergies. *sigh* Thank you very much, depressed mood. Being depressed + lack of sleep [ugh, friday night was the WORST...I was laying in bed for 4 f-ing hours...awake...4am!! (not the worst after last night...)] + actually going out of the house once = sick. So yeah, hopefully by some miracle I'll be better by Christmas!!! T__T Yesterday, I could barely stand...well, I could stand, but I was achy...and I didn't feel like it. Anyhoo, so like I said, I actually went out. On friday, mom and I met D (oldest brother, 28) for lunch and did some shopping. We went to the mall [crazy idea, right?], had lunch there, and just walked around. Oh, before that though, we went to D's little apartment to pick him up...he invited us in to see his tiny little fake Christmas tree. XD It's not even 2 feet tall! Hehe!! But yeah, so I got out of the house! It did wonders for my mood THAT DAY...yeah, for one day at least I felt better. While at the mall, we mainly just walked around...and looked for things to buy dad for Christmas. Also, we went to Borders, and I got some more manga to be saved as Christmas gifts, and same with a couple shirts from Hot Topic. Yup...errr...so that was Friday...then yesterday was another usual day. But like I said, I started feeling sick. The night before was terrible; I got practically no sleep, probably because of the flu's onset. -__- Umm...I spent most of the day playing Phoenix Wright [on the DS; I've had it for over a year, but I stopped playing it for a while]...watched more Gurren Lagann and finished the first "chapter", I guess you could say. It's been really good! I'm liking it more than I first did. My mood was somewhat in the dumps again, but oh well. At least I had one somewhat good day, emotion-wise. When I took my shower, I just wanted to sit in it...sit and sit...and not move...*sigh* Bah! Sorry...babbling about crap again. I made some goodies for you to look at. First, I actually made an e-card. XD A Christmas card. I made it with all of my MO friends in mind. *hugs* So yeah, check it out. It was featured, too! :3 Happy holidays to every one of you, whether you celebrate Christmas or not. *hugs* Make this time a wonderful one, no matter what! Here's the card, it's simple: Hosted By theOtaku.com. I was going to make a wallpaper with that image, but I didn't want to spend the time...so I decided, "Why not make it on a smaller scale? E-CARD!" XD And yesterday, I made a new wallpaper. So please comment/download. I really love how it turned out...it took a while, but I think it's worth it. I hope you like it, too. Hosted By theOtaku.com. Well, I totally need to wrap this post up now...so yeah, no amv. Sorry! *hugs* Thanks sooo much for visiting me...I need to do a better job with commenting you guys. :( I haven't gotten to as much lately, and I definitely didn't get to anyone yesterday...what with feeling like crap and all. I'll see if I can visit today; see how I feel. It's aching to type even. .___. *sigh* I'll probably post tomorrow but not Christmas...have a wonderful day, my dear friends! Thanks for sticking with me, even when I'm nothing but a useless pile of nonsensical depression.

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Friday, December 21, 2007

Warning: thanks, sorry, yesterday, brother, wp, more depressed post...sorry!!!

Ugyuu~. My nose is all stuffed up. -___- *blows nose* That's a bit better...anyhoo, thank you all for your comments. Thanks sooooo much, and yes, obviously I'm posting. I'm sorry for worrying you all about how I've been lately. :( I'm really sorry, but I'm so thankful that I have great friends like you guys to try and cheer me up...but it seems that some of you might be getting FED up with my feeling this way instead so I'm sorry. *hugs* Alex, your comment was wonderful! Seriously, it was SO long that it made up for the lacking comments I got (or didn't get). XD It made me smile and laugh a bit, too, so thanks! midnightqueen, nice to hear from you again! To those that checked out my wallpaper, I really appreciate it! Insane-chan did, too. ^^ She really liked the wallpaper so that made me feel better. To everyone, thank you for your support. :3 I'll try not to make this a depressing post like they have been, ok? Because you're probably all sick of those kinds of posts, and I'm sorry for making some of you really really worry about me. At least you don't have to worry about me doing something bad to myself...I hate pain so I wouldn't do anything destructive; I don't drink alcohol so I won't go on a dangerous drinking binge; I don't smoke, so I won't smoke myself to death, and I'm afraid of dying so I wouldn't dare kill myself! ^^;;;; So yeah, I've just been depressed, and when I'm depressed, I do nothing. Sorry again for worrying you all. Umm, but yeah, it's yet another day, and I swear! These days just go by quickly...and all have been melding into one. *sigh* Yesterday was another day...just like the others! Yet again, I DIDN'T get out of the house! T__T Argh. I swear...the world is against me. *rolls eyes* Plans were screwed up, like usual, and so I just stayed home. I wanted to do something with mom since Corey went out for his interview, but mom said she didn't want to go out because she "looked bad"...because of her reaction the night before. *sigh* So, ok, I complied and just played video games for most of the day...but then she decided to go out with dad! She said she didn't want to go out, yet she goes out with dad...so I was left home alone in my depressive state. -__- Oh well, it didn't matter. It's not like I was going to doing anything different. I felt like crap, but that's not new. My posting was totally interrupted (like 10 minutes) by my mom getting a phone call from Corey. *sigh* So yesterday, he had a job interview, and today he was supposed to have another. Well, it turns out that the one today was connected to the company from yesterday! So today was going to be a "training day." 9 hours. 9 freaking hours. My brother complained, yeah, but he went this morning to do that training day...he just called and said he's coming home; he quite obviously didn't stay the whole time! *sigh* He asked about the job, and it sounds terrible...I understand him not wanting to do it, but jeez, he needs a job...I'm tired of him being home all the time controlling me!!! I thought I was going to get some more peace and freedom from him today, but not anymore... SHUT THE F UP!! Sorry...I just can't concentrate on typing when my mom is constantly yelling down to dad and trying to talk to me and blah, blah, blah. Sorry for that! ^^;; But um, yesterday I made a new wallpaper...I really love it...it's not featured yet, but maybe you guys could give it some love and download/comment, and maybe it will be featured. Please! Thanks! Hosted By theOtaku.com. Wow, sorry, this post is going nowhere and fast...my mind isn't errrrr...together, and I have a feeling this post reflects that! It probably doesn't make sense. XD Sorry. I was just about to cry when my mom came in to talk to me...for no reason. I'm all screwed up! I didn't cry though, but maybe I should've? But then mom would just ask "why? What's wrong? WHY?" Always with the "why's." I don't know WHY I'm depressed; does there have to be a specific reason? If so, then I don't have it. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't want to tell my mom how I'm really feeling because then she'll overly worry and she'll also try to make sense of WHY...which there is no answer (I don't think so anyway). I just don't know anymore...bah, it's so close to Christmas, too!! This is supposed to be a time of joy and comfort, right?? *sigh* And here I said I wasn't going to make this a depressing post. ^^; I shouldn't have posted...I wasn't going to, but I made that new wallpaper and all...so yeah. I don't think I'll post tomorrow then. Barely anyone visits me on saturdays anyway. I think I'm finally getting out of the house today though...to meet Derek for lunch and do some shopping. Someone asked how old my brothers are. Derek is 28, Corey is 26, and I am 19. My parents are old...somewhat...55...and I can't believe it. *sigh* Wow. But anyhoo, I'll do my best to visit today, but I can't guarantee anything..actually, I probably won't visit much...but I'll try. Sorry. Here's an amv. It's a Tenshi ni Narumon one, since that's what Noelle (the girl in my wallpaper) is from. Enjoy. Yeah....so sorry about this post! ^^;; I'm thankful to those that actually sifted through it and found useful info to comment on. I won't post tomorrow...probably...and i'm hoping to cheer up soon. Maybe my going out today will make things better. Thanks again, and have a good couple of days! Congrats to those now on winter break!

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Thursday, December 20, 2007

Warning: thanks, sleep/morning, yesterday, wp, mom, & songs

*hugs* Hello, and thanks for all the comments! I don't care if you were a "late commenter." It doesn't really matter since I didn't post yesterday. ^^; I'm really flattered that people would still visit my site even though it wasn't highlighted blue! XD So thank you very much! So many people visited that haven't done so in a while: Iruka sensei, Driffter, capture, anime snow girl, and Angelbest. :3 And I have a new friend, chibi-anna-chan!! Welcome to my site!! So nice to have a new friend! *hugs* I haven't had time to read ALL of your comments, but I will when I can...so sorry, no specific replies today. Just thank you all veryvery much for everything. Yup, yup, another morning. Mah...these days I seem to just NOT want to get up. -___- I've been laying in bed and falling in and out of sleep longer than usual. It's like, "Nooo...I don't want to get up at all...what's the point?" *sigh* But here I am! I can't sleep my whole boring day away. I had lots more strange dreams, and ones that were disturbing. Again, I woke up almost crying. :( Bleh. I didn't want to though because then I wouldn't be able to breathe, and thus, I wouldn't fall back to sleep easily. Mom and I were going to meet D (oldest bro, Derek) lunch yesterday, but that didn't work...so then we were planning for today, but he's apparently getting sick, and my mom hasn't been doing well either. We're just a bunch of sickly people, I guess. So maybe TOMORROW we'll meet him for lunch...the whole reason I didn't post yesterday was supposed to be because of that and not having enough time, but eh, that wasn't the case. I just didn't feel like posting. I think a good lot of you are going to be on your winter breaks soon (if you get them), if you're not already...so that means more people updating and commenting. ^^; That's good in a way, but it's also bad for me since I know it's almost always impossible for me to visit everyone! T__T Sorry. And it's odd because a good majority of the people I visit, don't visit me back anyway...it's sad, but I guess it's just because they've been still really busy; I understand so it's no problem. [edit: removed part of rant] Ugh, I'm not feeling too well at the moment...bah...it's probably because of feeling depressed these days, and I hate it. It affects my sleeping habits and just how I feel. -__- Like yesterday sucked. We were supposed to go out and do things, but then my dad incorporated himself into the equation, and that always messes things up. We couldn't do what we were going to and just ended up waiting all day for him since he was holding us back...he had some business conference calls to do, so yeah. SO STUPID. I was going to actually get out of the house...but cause of him, no. So it was another stay at home and do nothing day. I'm sure if I have a change of routine, then I'd probably feel better...so I'm hoping to do something today. Corey, the lazy bum, has a job interview and his acupuncture appointment today, and he has ANOTHER job interview tomorrow!! So let's hope he gets a job. T__T That'll get him out of my hair, and hopefully mom and I can do some things on our own. I made a wallpaper, but I'm somewhat disappointed in it. It was a request from InsaneAndroid to make a wallpaper of one of her original characters, Akinauni. Her drawing skills are amazing, and I'm afraid I didn't do her drawing justice with this wallpaper. Sorry!! Barely anyone ever downloads "original anime" wallpapers...so it sucks. But please, my dear friends, go show it some love! ^^; And in my description of it, I have the link to her drawing, so if you could vote for it, too, that'd be awesome. Thanks! Hosted By theOtaku.com. As I said briefly before, my mom wasn't feeling too well. It's because she had a reaction last night...to what? To f-ing wrapping paper. It's so retarded. It's like she's going to have an allergic reaction [these are major...if you are a new friend, you don't know much about this problem...but it's serious] to practically ANYTHING these days. *sigh* Before, it was just chemicals in paint and new houses, but now it seems like anything can affect her. I hate it. She hates it. We all do. I want my mom to be well...I want her to be able to do the things she used to do, and I want her back to her old self. She's lost soooo much weight from this whole incident...and it's saddening looking at my mom now...she looks practically like a skeleton. It's sad, and I'm always worried for her now...and when she tells me that she had another reaction, I don't know what to say anymore. When my dad hears that, he gets mad. >> *sigh* So yeah, I guess this still really affects me...probably part of the reason I've been depressed. We moved because of this, and just bah...so much crap...sorry... Umm...I don't know if I'll post tomorrow. I might, but I might not...it depends...what we're going to do and whatnot. Also, maybe not saturday. We'll just see, but don't be alarmed if I don't show my face around those days. XD Errr, no amv. I've made this post long enough! Sorry!! Too long, right? You can go to my playlist and check out some songs near/at the bottom...I've been adding more lately, and I don't know if they're ever heard. Well, thank you very much for visiting me. *hugs* I really appreciate it. Have a great day!

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