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Wednesday, May 19, 2010


some sports, some anime talk, migraines, and other things.

Thank you Lute, Deb, and noir for your wonderful comments! *hugs* I love you guys. ^_^ And to suarez, even though I don't know you. >> Next time, if you're going to comment again, please more than one sentence. Thanks. And to everyone else, yes~~ Arigatou again! *huggles* It's been over a week since I posted here. Well. I've been lazy with copying and pasting. ^^; Or I just wrote really short posts that weren't that important. So now here's a long one for those of you who are still myO faithfuls!

Haha. Yeah, I'm posting because I'm kinda bored at the moment. I'd rather not watch the baseball game right now since we're losing. <--bad fan) I mean, hey, maybe in one inning they can get 3+ runs, but with the way the past 2 games have gone, I unfortunately have no faith. ;__; /////fail//// Firefox just crashed on me. Thank goodness for Session Manager! Lol. Without that, I would've lost this post and many others in the past. Ahah. Anyhoo, yeah, I love my Phillies, but sometimes they get so streaky! They won by 10 runs a few games ago, and now they can't even manage to get 2. It's sad. But the Flyers are still doing AMAZING. <3333 I ♥ them so much. They won last night~ so they're up 2 games to 0 against Montreal! 2 more wins and they'll be off to the Stanley Cup finallll~~~~ It's just seeming way too easy right now. >> Something must be up! Lol. *don't jinx* Um, if you didn't see my last card, go right ahead~ Sexy Leighton!


I just downloaded some new anime songs...I haven't listened to any in quite some time! ^^; Pandora has been my main source of listening, and aside from a couple of j-pop bands they don't have anything Japanese. So I've actually been enjoying ENGLISH artists lol! XD So getting some anime stuff is different and pretty good. :D Seeing as I'm not familiar with any new anime anymore, I have no clue what shows they're from. Haha. Just a couple years ago, I was fangirling over tons of anime...and watching hours upon hours! But now I'm just not into it as I used to. >.< I never thought I'd see the day where I'd say that. I still love anime for what it is; I love the art, characters, music, everything, but I can't seem to sit through and watch any new stuff. Classics, I will. But nothing new. :/

Did I mention in my last post about how I got a stupid malware virus thingy in my comp? I don't remember if I did. But yeah. It was some "antispyware-soft" malware thing. It looks like it's an anti-spyware program alarming you of an infection, and it installs itself on your comp. It popped up on SOME anime site I was on, looking for Oofuri 2 eps. See? Good reason why I don't watch much anymore! Lol. Ugh, but it wouldn't let me open ANY program, and I couldn't even open up the task manager to force it to end. It would pop up for a split second and go away. So what I did was...I saw where the task manager box would pop up, and I set up my cursor right where the "end task" button would be! So when it'd pop up for a second, I quickly clicked it. XDDD So it worked! THEN I could open up my malware/spyware/virus removal program to get rid of it. Ha! I actually got rid of it all by myself. XD Usually I have to get my brother over here to do it for me. But I FIGURED IT OUT ALL ON MY OWN HAHA.

Phillies lost. Yup. I knew it.

So I've been having my usual migraines lately. And again, YES, I do have meds for them. YES, I've been to a neurologist. YES, I've even had an MRI. But nothing as yet is truly helping. Sometimes my meds take it away, but they have sucky side-effects that sometimes I'd rather just have the migraine than them. And sometimes they don't even take it away. :/ Today I got lucky and it went away *crosses fingers it stays away*. But just ugh. I'm so sick and tired of it. :( Of my aches and pains. I'm too young for this. T__T

Today I wanted to get out of the house just to get out. So my parents said we'd go to this library that I haven't been to in forever cause it's kinda far away. We drove for about an hour...we get there...and see, we mostly went to check out the books that you can buy for 50 cents. Well, all that way, and it was closed. The book-buying area. .__. Agh!! THEY WOULD NOT LET US IN THERE. NO SIR-Y BOB. They were "reorganizing" it. Heaven forbid we decide to buy some books while they're reorganizing. *rolls eyes* And they were pretty rude about it, too!! But man. I went all that way for nothing. Except lunch. 4:00 lunch. Sure, we looked at the books to take out, but why bother renting any at a place that you'd have to go so far away to bring them back? Plus, I bought some books recently I'm reading...so I just wanted to have more as backups. Anyway, yeah. ^^;; Each time I go out just with my parents, I end up coming home saying, "That is the LAST time I go out with you guys!" Lol cause usually sometime goes wrong, or dad is crabby, or it's boring. Just mom and me, fine. My whole family (brothers included), fine. But not just me and them.

I'm working on a new wallpaper, seeing as the collab won't be done until JULY. The collab that all I did was outlines for. My partner says he's doing everything else! And he doesn't even want my input for the bg. ~__~ Yeah, great collab. *cough* Anyhoo, yeah, new wall. I'm not vectoring/painting the character though cause the scan is already really high quality. So I'm extracting (annoying) and then going to paint the bg. I haven't done an extraction wall in a while. It's really annoying. XD So many wallers these days, at least on AP, have moved away from these so-called "old-school" walls. Ones where it involves extracting the scan. Like if it doesn't involve vectoring everything or painting it, then it's not good or creative. Lol. But oh well. OH WELL. Btw, it'll be a Kobato wall.

Hmm...let's see...eh. I guess I'm done rambling now. Tomorrow mom says we'll go to the mall and the chiropractor. We were supposed to go yesterday, but it was all rainy and bleh so we didn't go out. Ok, NOW I'm done rambling. *hugs* Thanks so much for putting up with me~~ Haha. Take care!

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Tuesday, May 11, 2010


summer break has begun! slowly! Lol.

Thanks, Deb and Lute, for the comments. :) *hugs*Much appreciated!! Deb, I LOVE your long comments. They're the best~~~ And yes, hardly anyone reads my sports sections...but don't worry, there's one in this post!! And if you ever want to hear more, like I said, just pm me! Thanks again~

So to those of you that had mother's day on sunday, how did it go? Did your moms have a great time? Or how about your aunts or grandmas? :) I hope they all had a lovely day!! ^_^ Well, my mom was having a great day until the evening. It was a great DAY because we just stayed home and watched the Phillies game; since they won, that's what made it good lol. Corey was working, and D usually just comes over right before dinner. So come dinner time, both boys are here, and they decided to be stupid, selfish, jerks...not caring that it was supposed to be MOMMY'S day. So the thing is that Corey got a broken 360 from one of his friends, and he "sold" it to D so that he could try and fix it (he's fixed one before). Ok, well, D comes over with the xbox telling him that he didn't want it anymore. See, D didn't pay corey YET, so he's just figuring, well, he didn't touch it or try, so he shouldn't have to pay! But Corey got really mad cause they "made a deal." *sigh* I was downstairs playing FF13, so at least I didn't have to be up there during the commotion...but I could hear all the yelling.

Yes, they ended up having a huge argument over it, and everyone ended up blaming D. Ganging up on him. Yes, sure, he made a deal that he would take it and pay corey, so it was bad of him to renege on his part, but he felt that it would've been fine since he didn't do anything with the xbox! It would be like taking something back to the store when you find out you don't want it. So anyhoo, that whole mess...took up a lot of time. And my brothers were grouches the rest of the night, especially D. And he had good reason to be...he felt like he was ganged up on (which he was), and that no one saw his side, and that no one loved him. *sigh* My brothers have been at odds with each other since they were little...so all these arguments that happen really stem from years of grudges and pain from the past. .__. So even though this was just over something really stupid and little, they couldn't let go. And of course neither apologized...and D had a terrible night, and mommy had a really bad end to her mother's day!! She cried a lot. She doesn't like seeing her children...get into such disputes...she doesn't like conflict, and same with me. So she did cry a lot about it, not because her mother's day was "ruined," but because she just wished they'd get along.

And I always try to be the mediator. That's what I do. I hate conflict just as much; if I were upstairs, I probably would've cried, too!! But I did. So all night I tried to talk with D, get him to respond a little, cheer up, apologize...and same with Corey. But neither budged. *sigh* Hardheaded men. But I tried. Anyway, that's all over and done with. Mommy and I went to the mall with D today to kinda make up for what happened before. ^^; So he's fine now, and corey is back to normal, but who knows...how they'll react with each other the next time we're all together.

Ok, enough about that stress!! Lol. One more little annoyance though...I said this in my last post, and it STANDS STILL. The featured freaking fandom!!! Once AGAIN, it's a card by the same artist as before. I think they've had 3 featured now, and 2 of them in the same week. I'm really ticked off. I'm not saying their stuff is bad, but I'm just tired of seeing the same artist there. Give someone else a chance!! D<

So like I said, mommy, d, and I went to the mall today. Nothing special to report though! I didn't get anything. :[ Derek was pretty much rushing us girls along, so poo. Aside from that, I haven't done much today. Phillies game was canceled because they're playing in Colorado and they were rained/snowed out!! Lol. It was raining really hard, but they were supposed to get 1-2 feet of SNOW. O__o Can't really play baseball in that weather. XD So tomorrow there will be a doubleheader! I'm dubbing tomorrow SPORTS DAY. Haha. For me anyways. First Phils game at 3:10pm, then the Flyers playoff game 6 [ahhh!!! the last game was sooooooo great!! But soooooo bad cause our goalie got injured....agh. But again, it's a do or die situation! One more loss, and the season is over...so they have to win 2 more in a row to move on!] at 8pm, and then the second Phillies game at 8:40! Lol. So my day will be filled with sports watching. ^^; To those that care: Phillies won the last game, too, and that was great.

So today I started working on my collab. I'm in charge of doing the outlines of the guys (it's a BL/yaoi wall, so be warned if you don't like it). <3 And I'm actually almost done! I like how it's going so far. And my partner (?) is going to do the other vectoring and the bg. I mean, ok, it sounds like I'm not doing a lot though! ^^; But hopefully he'll have me do some other parts later. I know I'm not as good at him at vectoring, but it's a COLLAB lol. Though I really don't mind cause I don't think I'm good at vectoring other stuff. XD I'm fine with outlining! But what was really nice was that he told ME that he was actually ENVIOUS of MY walls! O__O And all this time I've always envied his! Lol. Btw, he's gay, so don't think there's anything between us. Haha.

WIP


Uploaded with ImageShack.us

And here's the Final wall that I did yesterday. :) I'll try to make more quick walls in the mean time of the collab.


Hmmm...well, I had another migraine today. I have them many days in a row, and it sucks. I need to try different meds...or heck, maybe even have physical therapy lol. Cause I shouldn't be like this. I hate it. ~__~ Anyhoo, I can't think of anything else to talk about! I think I wrote a lot again, but what else is new??? So THANK YOU FOR VISITING ME!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! Take care~~~

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Saturday, May 8, 2010


the letter M. (repost of theO)

Thank you for the comments last time~~ Deb, Britty, Anna, and Angelbest!! <333

[this first part is purely theO-related!]
Just thought I'd start out by saying how much I hate that "Zwinky" ad. It always freezes my internet up. I can't scroll up or down, go back, click anything...ugh. I really wish Adam got rid of those stupid ads. I'm not paying however much to get an upgraded account just to not see them. I don't mind them, but I can't stand the ones that cause my comp to die or just make everything slower....or that have animations that get in the way of what I'm doing. Now THOSE are retarded.

Ahem. Now then. Tomorrow (really today since it's midnight now) is mother's day here! Happy mother's day to all those moms out there!! ^_^

For my mom, we're not doing anything special. Just stay home and do nothing...watch the baseball game, lol. She'll open her gifts etc. I'm really pathetic when it comes to gift-giving because I don't drive so I can't go out on my own to get anything...I always need someone to take me! ^^; So gifts aren't really a surprise from me. I feel kinda bad, but my mom never minds. She's so sweet; I love her to death. Unlike my brothers, I show her gratitude for all the hard work she does everyday, and I pay her back by doing little considerate things. If only my brothers were the same. My mom thanks me all the time for being born...and of course, I'm just as grateful for being born into this family, and to the best mommy in the world. <3 I was born premature, only 3.3 pounds, by c-section. My mom and I stayed in the hospital for many months; both of us could've died. But thank God, we survived, and now I'm here to protect her just as she's protected me. :)

So I'm officially done all of my school stuff! It truly is summer for me now. Although I can't rest easy until I get my final grade for marketing. I pray that it isn't a C. I haven't gotten a C since middle school...so please please pleeeeeeeeeease give me some sort of B. ;__; I got an A in all my other classes...so just...yeah. I mean, it doesn't matter. I don't have a 4.0 anymore thanks to that theology class last semester (a B), so I guess it really doesn't...matter.

I wonder how theO chooses the featured fandom. I thought that they'd be more fair and give different people a chance each time. But now I've seen things featured from the same artist over again. :/ There are so many great artists on this site, but their things haven't been "discovered" yet.

Lately I've just been wanting to read. XD Even though I only designate reading time to before bed! Lol. But the book I'm reading, The Dancers of Arun by Elizabeth A. Lynn, is really good. It's so short though...I can't stand it when really good books are sooooo short. Most of her books are short though. :/ Oh, it's funny cause this was written in '79! Lol. Most of her books are that old. XD But the first book I read by her, Dragon's Winter, was from 2003 or something. And she hasn't written since the sequel to that. :( I miss her. I love her books cause they're LGBT fantasy books; she's an out lesbian, and she usually has gay/lesbian characters in her books. So of course I gravitate to the BL ones! Haha. But she was one of the first fantasy authors to really break that barrier. I mean, wow, back in the 70's! Anyhoo, I ordered some more books on Amazon...another by her and a couple other BL fantasy novels, hehe. I haven't been reading much manga, so I've been supplementing here!

Oh, speaking of manga. Has anyone bought manga by the publisher Go! Comi? They released ones like Cantarella, Crown, and some others I can't think of. Well...I'm just wondering what's happened to them. :/ Cause I ordered Crown volumes 3 & 4 several months ago, but they're never going to come! And their website hasn't been updated in forever...it makes me sad.

A friend on AP wants me to do a collab with him. It's going to be a yaoi/BL wall. XD Yes, sorry, this post is filled with that talk! Haha. But anyhoo, he's having me outline the scan...but I'm really not that good. Not compared to his skills. I'm afraid that what I do won't be good enough. :/ Ah well...I'll work on it whenever I can...it sorta scares me. ^^;

Here's the other card I made tonight. X3 Smexiness. Lol.

It seems like fewer and fewer people comment things. Sure, there's some hugs, maybe a few faves, but not as many people bother to comment. Not just on my stuff, but anything. You see the amazing drawings on the front page with 50+ hugs etc. but like 5 comments. It's stupid.

Ok. Lol. I'll spare you my sports talk. I think I wrote too much. XD But if you care, Phillies and Flyers won last night in amazing fashion, but Phillies lost today. Last night was just...wow though. If you want to hear more (like you, Deb) just PM me, ok? ^_^

Thanks for visiting me!!!! *hugs* I love you guys. :) I appreciate whoever deals with me...and all of my long posts. ^^;;;; Take care~~

P.S. Meg (innocent heart) says hi!! She misses you all. In case you're wondering what's going on with her, don't worry she's fine. It's her computer that's been dead all this time. ^^;; Poor thing has been without her comp for weeks. But she should have it running again soon, once her brother fixes it. :) She misses you guys!

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Wednesday, May 5, 2010


summer break and better things!

*hugs* Thanks so much Lute and Kiyo for your comments!!! :) I really appreciate them. I'm posting sooner than usual cause I have something positive to talk about. Get rid of that negative post!! So thank you again. *hugs* Oh and *hands you all cupcakes* There were so many left, so of course you guys can have some. XD Too bad you weren't in my class!! I wish you the best, Lute, with your struggles as well. Feel free to pm me if you ever need to talk...which reminds me I STILL haven't replied to yours from before. Sorry!! :[ Anyhoo...post time!

I'm basically on summer break now!!!!!!!!!! Basically!! Lol. I say that because I still have things to do for my online class, but I don't have anything that involves me going TO school now. I have 2 short essay questions to do for my online class's final...those are due by monday, so I have time. But I'm done with my other finals. ^_^ Wow, it doesn't feel like it! I feel like I'll have to go back to class tomorrow and next week...and keep going. ^^;; But it will sink in soon.

Speaking of finals, my professor did indeed curve that final exam!!! :D I mean, I still don't know what my FINAL GRADE is, but when I checked my grade online and refreshed it...remember, it said I had a 57% before (cause I obviously failed my final), well now it says I have a 74! ^^ Now I'm not so depressed about that, haha. Though I do wonder what I got on it...and my other things. So maybe now I'll get a B or B- in that class? I'm hoping that the 74 isn't my official final grade. I haven't gotten a C since my chorus class in middle school. >>' Yes, how is that possible?? I never went to any of the recitals lol.

So today I just had my visual merchandising presentation. We went first, and it was super easy. I think we did better than most of the people cause I noticed they didn't include some of the info I thought we had to. Yesterday...I had my history of costume final, which was really easy. I got a 91 on it. :) So yay. Except for that marketing final, I did fine. But now that he curved it...well, not too bad. XD Anyhoo, other things aside from school: last night my brother and his friend went to some special screening of Iron Man II. It's funny cause my brother didn't even like the first movie all that much, but since his friend invited him, all of a sudden he's a FAN. Hahaa. The other night, mom and I had a psychic moment regarding our opinion of Iron Man (well, Robert Downey Jr. as him), haha. We both said, "It's just Sherlock Holmes in an iron...outfit." It was great! We said outfit at the same time. XDDD We couldn't think of a better word, lol. Not like "armor", "suit", but OUTFIT. It cracked us up. It's definitely my favorite quote in a while. I used to hate RDJ, thought he was gross and just bad cause he was a druggy at one point, but after I saw Sherlock Holmes...goodness, he was pretty hot. >>'

Well, my dad got more fish. I've definitely lost count in how many discus we have now! I thought he said he was finally done with getting more. But he's like addicted to getting them!! XD So I yell at him about it. Lol. He wasn't even going to tell me about them...he was just going to order them, have them delivered (yes, they do deliver live fish, safe and sound) and then I would find out today about them. But sunday, I think, I caught him on it...so I made him at least get one that I wanted. ;D So we have this shiny red and white spotted discus, named Farneys (don't ask), and the one I picked out, which is a shiny white ghost one, named Mr.Cliff (after Cliff Lee, formally of my dear Phillies). They're so cute. ^_^ But now they have to get used to their tank...I mean, really, it isn't easy to be transported in little bags of water in a dark box on a plane!!

Yesterday mom and I went shopping at the mall. It cheered me up, even though I usually don't care much for shopping...I'm enjoying it more and more lately. >>' Looking for cute clothes lol. So I got several cute things: a sundress, skirt, cardigan, and a shirt that I wore today. What's funny is yet again people thought I was younger than I am! The cashier lady asked how old I was. "21." She said she couldn't believe it...thought I looked 17. Lol. It's hilariously great. AND TODAY while waiting for the elevator, two Sisters (nuns) were talking and asked me what grade I was in, I replied that I'm now a senior, and they said I looked like a freshman. Hahahaa....I guess that's good. Maybe? Anyhoo, aside from clothes, I also got a new book. So it was a nice trip out.

*thinks* Sports-wise. Phillies won last night and today. <3 Great great wins against the tough St.Louis Cardinals! But the Flyers...they lost again. *sigh* :( If they lose one more game, then they're out of the playoffs. Flyers haven't been able to go deep into the postseason...since they won the Stanley Cup in the 70's. It's so sad. I love watching hockey, but when it's baseball season, I'm not as dedicated...I guess. So I'm not too upset that they're sucking. ~__~' I mean, so many of our best guys are out injured, so it wasn't meant to be.

Ok. I think I wrote enough. Right? And it was a pretty positive post! Thanks for dealing with me all the time. In honor of the upcoming Mother's Day, here is a beautiful guitar song by Antoine Dufour (he's amazing) called MOTHER. XD


P.S. I made a new ecard challenge if you're interested!! :) Take care~

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Monday, May 3, 2010


today sucked! (same as theO)

Wow, thanks for all the comments guys! *hugs* Very nice to hear from all of you. ^_^ Lute, haha, your response to my rant...like about sexy girls and guys liking them and whatnot, well, you sure described me instead! XD About liking sports, being laid back, etc. Haha. Well, then maybe there's hope for me yet!! Just who knows when. Deb, thank you so very much~~~ I'm glad to have converted you to a Phillies fan!! :) Kiyo-chan, wtf your brother hates them? WHY? Is he a NY fan or something? :/ And yeah, I guess I do sorta look like Haruhi (ouran), lol. XD Also, those auctions, with the size 5 shoes, are my mom's she's selling. She has tiny feet! And thanks to Anna and capture, too!! <33 Now for another copy and paste [sorry]. I changed my theme on theO, and it's just the pink version of here! Lol, it's really cute. XD Anyhoo.

First off, here's a drawing!! My scanner ruined whatever quality existed before. So when you view it, I guess view "high quality" or whatever. :/ It still looks blurry. But yes, just a quick sketch I was doing instead of studying tonight. I'll study more tomorrow before class. I simply do not feel up to studying anymore.


So today sucked. I barely slept this morning because I had so much anxiety about my marketing presentation and final. I felt sick and nervous and everything. I always calm down once I reach the class though, so when I got there, things weren't bad. Chantal brought her cupcakes, and I brought mine. I didn't think we'd have enough! Boy were we wrong. When it was our turn to present, we told everyone to take some cupcakes. Like...3 people came up? Really? :/ What college kid doesn't want to eat a cupcake during presentations!! ;__; So we had a lot left. But at least our prof took one and really liked them (my chocolate ones I made~~~) So yes, our presentation went well! Really great actually; Mr.Tahir complimented us a lot. I was so freaked out before, but then it went fine. (only good thing to happen)

So after that we took the final exam (marketing still). *sigh*
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It was horrible. We could even use our notes. But I knew that wouldn't help me. On all of the other quizzes we could use our notes, too, but they didn't help me then. I studied a lot last night, though maybe not as much as I could've, but I did enough. No matter how much I read the book and read my notes, I could not absorb the info because our teacher, although super nice, never really taught. I don't learn that way. I DO NOT LEARN THAT WAY. I need a teacher to lecture and give notes. I can't learn on my own...reading the book and taking my own notes. *sigh* So to make a longer story shorter, I failed the final exam. Never in my life have I failed an exam. Quizzes, sure, but not big tests. .___. It was online; we did it on the comp, so we could see the grade after....well, the average. All he had of my grades in the comp were the one other online quiz, which I got a 70 on. So after the final, I refreshed my grade and it said I have a 57% now. So I'm pretty darn sure that means I failed the freaking final. I wanted to cry, but I didn't. I'm surprised I didn't.

I talked to my teacher about it like "What if we did really bad on the final? how much is the paper/presentation worth?" But he assured me that he would grade the final on a curve, change grades, add points etc...to make things better. I hope he does. And I hope that he does enough to make me not fail. *sigh* It's just so horrible. My mom was encouraging about it, but my dad literally thought I was joking when I told him. Same with my brother. "But you NEVER fail things. You're kidding me, right? I can't believe I'm hearing this out of your mouth!" ~___~ I'M A FAILURE NOW. All my other A's don't seem to matter. What makes me more upset/(envious?) is that my partner got the highest score. Mr.Tahir announced it, "Congrats Chantal! You got the highest grade!" I mean, great for her. Yay, she deserves it, but it makes me a little mad...especially when I'd try to ask her for help on things, but she'd never reply or she would only focus on herself instead.

Ugh. So yes, school sucked. I have one more final tomorrow and then a presentation wednesday, and then some things for my online class, then I'll finally be done with this stupid semester. Thank goodness.

Other bad things: both the Phillies and Flyers lost. Flyers are now down 2 games to 0 in this 2nd playoff round [first team to 4 wins moves on, aka, we're not doing too well]. And you know how much these sports mean to me lol. *sigh* Today...at least it's almost over. Sorry I didn't have any time to comment really. I'll try some more this week, but with finals...eh. Whatever. Thank you for vising me though!!! *hugs* I love you guys. Take care~

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Sunday, April 25, 2010


same as theO. :) school projects, hair cut, stuff

Thank you for the comments, guys. *hugs* Lute and Deb!! <3 Lute, omg, Le Petit Fromage? OMG. That's hilarious cause we had to do something similar in our high school french class...and there was definitely a restaurant named that, too! XD Heck, it might've been my group. Lol. Cute. And Deb, thank you for everything. YOU are so sweet. I'm glad I have you as a converted Phillies fan!! <3 Arigatou, guys.

So yeah, I've just been really stressed and busy with school. My goodness. All of my final projects have caught up with me!! All too quickly. :( It really sucks. Really really sucks. But...I'll make it through. I'm actually almost done with my parts for our marketing plan. I just have one more thing to do, which I'll finish tomorrow; it shouldn't be too bad because it's just a summary of all of the parts of the marketing plan. I didn't do it yet cause I needed Chantal to send me all the rest of her things. :/ I've been texting her a lot and apologizing way too much I think. XD She's probably really annoyed by me. I've been apologizing cause I feel stupid with my parts...I know if we don't get an A it'll be my fault. ~__~ I've been trying and trying to understand this stuff, but it's not sinking in. And also, Chantal did more parts than me...but I basically made up for that with my artistic parts: making the logo (it was in my last post), a sketch of what our takeout box would be, and our menu. I just wish Chantal would get back to my emails about these things. Cause I'm not sure if my stuff is right.

We present on wednesday, but we hand in the final paper on finals day. He wants us to make it all fancy with a cover and crap. Boooo. So that's why that'll be due the next week. The presentation is only supposed to be 5 minutes, but I'm still afraid about how that will go! I also don't know if Chantal is going to do the whole powerpoint of if I should've been doing some. D; Bleh. I just can't wait for this class to be done with!! Unfortunately, next semester, I'm taking another class that's very similar. Except it'll be online. And the final paper will be 40 pages instead of 12. T_________T <---wants to die face

Aside from marketing, I have other projects to do in other classes. One will be presented tomorrow, which is another partner thing. I finished my part on friday though, so hopefully my partner has hers all good. And then there's one other powerpoint to do for visuals. This thursday my partner and I will finish it up, and then we present it the next week. I need to make a logo for that freaking thing, too...argh.

Yesterday I got my hair cut. You know, just to get it all trimmed up, give me my layers back, etc. It was getting too messy looking. There was a lot of waiting before it was my turn, but at least I got to have Nicki. I had her the second time I had my hair cut, and she's just so sweet! :) When I went the last time, she wasn't there; she came in later, and so she saw me and said, "Hey! Long time no see! How come I never get to cut your hair anymore???" Lol. SORRY!!! So this time I made sure to get her. XD It's just I usually go whenever, and so I'll just take whoever is there, but Nicki will always be my favorite stylist. ;D Cause we always talk, and she does a good job. The other lady I had...ugh, she has no personality. She'd never say anything. She was doing a girl's hair next to me, and like with me, she said nothing. What a killjoy! A part of going to a stylist is having a conversation (if you want it) and a friendly relationship with them. Lol. The rude lady was curling this girl's hair...like wow though. So many curls! They were so pretty. I bet it was for her prom or something.

So here's a pic of Moi. Yes, I made it all black and white. XD I'm too lazy to give you the colored version, so there. It would show up my dark circles too much. ^^;; Ugh. Last night...even though I liked my hair cut all day, I started to feel ugly. Like I looked at myself in the mirror a billion times and didn't see pretty. Am I even pretty?? I always seem to hear that guys like girls with long hair more. I certainly don't have long hair anymore. My brothers say I look like a boy. So I'm guessing no guy would want a girl that looks more like a guy. *sigh* I mean, sure, maybe I'm "cute," but I ain't beautiful or sexy. THAT'S FOR DARN SURE. And it seems like most guys at college, at least from what I know, want a sexy girl over cute or whatever the heck I am. Yeah, ok, so I was getting down on myself a lot...I usually don't care about the whole lack of boyfriend thing, but it does get to me sometimes. Like now. And my haircut just made me feel bad. I even cried some about it last night. :/ It's not like I don't like how it looks...I love it...but I sorta miss my long hair...looking at the girl getting her hair curled really is what triggered it. Beautiful, long, curled hair. All I have is short, boyish hair now. I like it. But I don't know. I worry too much about what others think.

Anyhoo, today I worked a lot on my marketing plan, watched some baseball (Phillies lost *sob*), and put up some ebay auctions. As usual, it was cause my brother was like "SELL THESE COME ON." Cause he's a total jerk and is a dimwit when it comes to doing anything. He's too lazy. Plus, he hates having responsibility; if something goes wrong, he can blame me. Yes, I know, I should just tell him to do it himself, but I really don't mind doing these things. I'm too nice. Too nice. It annoys me when he asks me so rudely, but I feel accomplished when I set them up and when they sell. So anyway, CHECK THEM OUT if you want!! Some anime box sets of ours [haven't watched them in forever]. Sailor Moon and Tenchi. Yes, pretty high prices! Lol, but they are RARE. I was super surprised to see how much the Sailor Moons were selling for, which is why I put the high prices. But hey, I'm even more surprised in a VERY good way that someone already bid on the$100 one. O________O

Okies. I guess this is all I have to say. I mean, not really, lol, but I'm done for now. I've been having migraines every single day...so yes. *sigh* Another exhausting thing!! >.< *hugs* Thank you for visiting me!! Sorry I didn't do much visiting today; I've had too much homework and crap to do. Take care, everyone~~~

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Wednesday, April 21, 2010


I think my mind has left me. School is really making me crazy! ;__;

Wow! Thanks you guys for all the comments!! ^_^ 6 is definitely a record for myO. Lol. Lately, at least. :3 Anything more than 1 (Stephy) is stunning! Hehe. So thank you all~~~ Deb, great to see you again! And same to Lute. It's been forever. Thank you SS and Jes, too! <333 That post was almost...a week ago. So yes, old news, old news. XD But thank you all for the comments on my wallpaper. I really love how it turned out, which is why I'm not bothered by other people's rude comments anymore.

(OMG I'm posting here on myO first omg) But it is going to be shorter than I'd like. You guys don't mind. XD It's just that I need to get to bed VERY soon!

I used to...back in the day, post on myO everyday, and I would do it RIGHT when I woke up! I felt guilty if I didn't. Even if I posted it later in the day I felt bad...lol. Like if I didn't do it right when I got up, it was crazy. Can you believe it? I was really...obsessed with this site I guess. Obsessed, dedicated, or something. Now I post on theO whenever I feel like it, and it's usually around midnight, before I get ready for bed. ^^;; Quite the opposite of how I used to do it. Ahah.

Ugh, I'm having a lot of trouble breathing lately. It's probably just...all the allergens. You know, more and more pollen lately, but goodness, it's horrible! Cause it hasn't just been my nose; I feel like I'm having more trouble breathing through my mouth, too. :/ Sometimes I wonder if I have asthma. I mean, I know I don't have asthma attacks or anything serious...but maybe I have some other variant of it, something more mild. It's probably just my really bad allergies though. ~__~ Even with all of the meds I've been given for them, I'm still a wreck. My doctors are FAILURES.

I also feel like a failure. *sigh* There's 2 (3?) weeks of school left, and I have so many projects to do, but I haven't...gotten any...anywhere near done. And I'm so scared. :( My biggest worry is marketing. Chantal and I are partners for this big marketing plan project we have. We separated the sections so that we'd each do a certain part, and I feel like a failure with mine. Chantal is so amazing...so smart...and she's done most of the work this semester for us. I guess I got lazy this semester, especially in this class. And I got lucky that for ONCE I was partnered with a good student, someone nice and smart that could actually do work. I'm usually stuck with idiots where I have to do everything. It's just weird for me to actually rely on someone else to take care of things. ^^; And she has done so much! Which I'm very grateful for, but now I'm getting to the point where I feel guilty. And this project is due next week, and I haven't pulled my weight...I do HAVE to pull my weight though cause it's not like she's doing my parts for me.

But now I'm totally clueless on my sections. I don't understand any of this crap!! Our teacher never really taught us anything. Every class he just had us do these partner assignments (answered questions in the book), but he never actually lectured us or gave us any notes. It was all on us to take notes and read the chapters...and I don't learn well that way. I just don't. We've had some quizzes, and I know I haven't done well on them because I simply do not learn on my own. I mean, I CAN learn on my own, but I can't...really understand information just by reading a book and taking my own notes. I need explanations. I need a teacher to guide me. So I'm really freaked out about this class...*sigh* I can't imagine how the final exam will be, let alone how I'll finish my parts for this marketing plan before next wednesday. We also have to present it. I mean, I actually have worked on it; I have 3 parts left, and 2 of them are summaries of other parts so I can't do them until Chantal gives me her stuff. It's just that I don't think I'm doing my parts right...I worked on one of them today, and I started at the description FOREVER. Just wtf.

Oh by the way, I feel bad I didn't explain it, but some of you already know what our project is. We have to create our own business and then write up a marketing plan for it. Our business is a cute bakery called Little Bo Peep's. :) So I LOVE our idea, and I understand our concept and stuff, but it's just applying these other things to it...I don't get. ^^;;; Ah ANYHOO. I gotta stop talking about this because I really lost track of my thoughts. I've just been rambling for 10 minutes. The moral of the story is that I'm very stressed out about this.

Behold, our logo:

At least I can do that part! Lol. And I'm even going to design our menu. XD

Tomorrow morning I have to schedule my classes for next semester. Things have gotten tricky because of my credit mess...so I had to talk to my dad about my plans for the next year since I'm not going to be able to graduate when I'm supposed to (spring '11). To make a long story short, dad got mad again, I cried more, my schedule isn't going to be how I wanted it, I hate my life, I hate school, and I feel like crawling in a hole. But hey, what else is new? It didn't help that I had to have this conversation with a migraine. Tonight...today was just incredibly stressful on me. It sucked.

But at least the Phillies won!! :D Lol. Yes, Deb, just for you! Hehe. They lost 3 games in a row until tonight, so it was refreshing to have a win again. XD They should've won last night because our starting pitcher pitched 8 shut-out (didn't give up a run) innings...but then Charlie (Phils manager) took him out and put Madson in to close. Well, he screwed up. Big time. Gave up 2 homeruns...tying the game up, sending it into extra innings. All he needed was 3 measly outs, and the game would've been over! BUT NO. So then we lost in the 10th. It was a bunch of crap. How is it that a starting pitcher can go 8 innings, get 24 outs, and not give up a single run...and then you give it to one guy that just needs to get 3 outs to end the game, but he instead gives up 3 runs? UGH. Made me SOOOOO mad. ~__~ BUT TONIGHT WAS GREAT. AN AWESOME WIN. The guys made some pretty amazing defensive plays. <3333 So that was one good thing of my day! Lol.

Ok, so I did write a lot. I always do. I amaze myself sometimes. but man, my mind is totally shot. I'm sooooo tired...haven't been getting any good sleep lately. *sigh* So I'm sorry if this post was a bit random or just didn't make sense in parts. I'm not making sense right now. So I better go to bed so I can wake up and do it all over again.

Love this song:


Thank you for visiting me!!!! *hugs* I love you guys. Sorry for...having to deal with me. XD Take care!!

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Friday, April 16, 2010


same as on my world~ just a day (really night) after!

Hello!! ^_^ *hugs* Stephy...wow...thank you SO much for being my one loyal myO reader!! XD It's great hearing from you. <3333 You're so sweet. Thank you again. :3 This post is what I wrote on theO LAST NIGHT so replace all "today"s with "yesterday" and all "tomorrow"s with "today." Lol! *hugs*

I'll try to make this quick. PROMISE. :D <---liar

Today my partner and I presented our window display, and I think it went ok. As usual, I froze up and got really nervous, and my voice was shaky, but ehhhh...oh well. It's over with. It's just so stupid because it was just a 2-minute thing in front of my classmates that I know so well, in a pretty informal way. All I had to talk about was how we assembled our display and our frustrations about it. SO EASY RIGHT? I mean, all I'm did basically was complain about things, lol. But I still got shaky. My partner did fine though. I don't think the presentation is a big part of the grade though, so we should be fine. Tuesday we have to take everything down/out though. It kinda sucks that our window display is only up for a week then. :[ Well, now we have to work on the FINAL final project...again, same partner. Woopty-doo. (?)

Since that's all we did, I got out real early. Like 2 hours early. XD Unfortunately, since I still don't drive, I had to wait for mom to pick me up, and darn it, I had to wait those 2 hours. Cause she was shopping. ^^;; During that time I worked on my typography powerpoint project at least...if I didn't do that, I know I would've procrastinated on it forever. (it's due tuesday)

Ok, so the big news! That you probably already know...but I finished my wall. :) I love how it turned out. YES, POSITIVITY. Surprising, right? Lol. I usually hate my wallpapers during and after they're done. But right now, at least, I like it. Hopefully I won't hate it tomorrow. (edit: I don't!)

Of course though, I do have to have a little rant to go along with it. And as usual, it does stem from AP. ^^; You really can't please everyone, right?? It sure annoys me. So in my previous rant about my wall was that I was getting tons of comments about it being too messy how it was before. It "didn't look good" how I had it, so I got lots of suggestions to smudge the bg. Alright, well, I did, and I like it that way. But NOW I'm getting comments on AP "Aw, I liked the original better! You should've kept it that way." -___- MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, PEOPLE. Ugh. That's why you NEVER put your other versions or the original scan in your description, lol. Cause then jerks decide to compare them all and dislike the one you went with.

But here's someone that...just irked me with their comment. I'm not totally offended, but I am really...ok fine, offended. The way they put this it's as if I did NOTHING to the original scan. As if I didn't put all the work that I did into it, as if I didn't add my own style. Like wtf. This is what they said: Although this looks pretty cool, I gotta say that I like the original better. If you want to make yours interesting, that is, I would choose your wallpaper over the original scan as a bg, you should attempt to make it your own in some particular way that is your own. This includes colour/contrast changes, or even bg changes. Perhaps she is against a sky, or her hair is blue. Or she's a vampire. Whatever floats your boat! But when it comes down to this I have to ask myself *why*. Why would I choose this paper over the original scan? What do you have to contribute to it? What will you do to make it your own? Perhaps you feel like you did this, but to someone who has no intimate knowledge of the process you went into, I feel like you just painted a copy of the original. I understand it's hard work...I can't do that myself, for example, I still think that I'd be interested to see you take it to the next level. (edit: I'm not mad about this anymore cause I like my wall just how it is!)

Well if you CAN'T do this yourself, then why are you acting all high and mighty? Vampire? Blue hair? WTF? Why would i do that? I don't know, I'm not completely pissed like it's going to make me dislike my wall (cause I love it), but it does insult me a bit. They didn't say it in a mean way, but still. So apparently the original scan is so much better than my wall, and my wall is just a carbon copy of it. OK. WHATEVER. This person only has made 7 wallpapers, and they're not exactly the best or most creative in the bunch. Lol. So I really don't understand it. XD I almost want to reply to her and sort of give my point of view, but that would get me nowhere, and I don't want to cause an argument. But I DID change the colors, the bg isn't at all like the original anymore, and it is my own in my own style. So poo on her. She should shove it. Oh, and she even decided to look at one of my other walls cause she was "curious." She complimented and faved this one, saying that it was actually "creative" and "different from the original scan." But she did complain that she didn't like how off-center the girl was. Lol. WTF. I'm sorry, but this person is actually funny to me now. XD [sarcasm]I mean, HALLELUJAH that this RANDOM non-artist decided to praise my work. I should definitely follow their advice from now on.[/sarcasm]

Sorry. Lol. I didn't think I'd do that rant, but it just got to me a bit. Again, I'm not letting that one person's stupid comment ruin my love of my wall. Cause I like it as is!! D< Hmph. Anyhoo, another art update! A drawing of one of our fish. For my dad's b-day tomorrow (friday). ^_^ Unfortunately when I printed it out for him, our printer sucked the awesomeness out of it. It looks so much better on the comp. So I'll have to show it to him on here as well.


Alrighty, yes, I had to put this here...cause I'm bad and neglecting myO. :( Sorry. *hugs* And sorry there's always rants in my posts!! Next time I'l try really hard to be happy and positive all the way through. XD Take care~

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Saturday, April 10, 2010


same as my world: a good amount of ranting!

Thank you for the comment last time, Stephy!! *hugs hugs hugs* Yay one person! XD Haha. So yeah, this is the same post as on my World...there's a lot of negativity in it. ^^;; And at least here, I have a feeling no one that commented on my WIP will read it here! But yeah. I apologize ahead of time for the rants. I just felt like putting this here, too...since I don't know when I'd write another post. GOMEN! *hugs*

So the weekend is almost over. Darn it. Man, I have so many projects and papers I have to work on...it really sucks. And I didn't really work on any yet. I worked a little bit on my typography assignment, contributed a little bit to a marketing assignment...and that was it. Thursday I have the paper due for our window display project (see last post for pics), tuesday I have stuff due for typography, and then there's the big marketing partner project. Well, that isn't due for a few weeks, but still...we have nothing done on it! ^^;; And it's like a 20 page thing. We split up the different parts between us (I love my partner; we sit next to each other, and the great thing is that she's super smart and diligent! I'm so used to having stupid useless partners!! And she's cute. XD She was in my textiles class last year. She reminds me of a mouse.) Anyhoo, Chantal (my partner) wanted us to work on some of the parts this weekend, but I totally didn't find the time to do so. Good news is that she didn't either lol. Oh snap, she wanted me to work on the menu, too...oh well. Some time. We have to make a business plan for a made up business, ours being a cute little bakery called "Little Bo Peep's bakery!". :)

But yeah, it's nearing the end of the semester...so there's just a lot of work looming over me, and I want to start panicking already. But I just have to keep working on things a little bit at a time. The problem is that I don't feel like doing things ahead of time...I want to procrastinate. ;__; Stupid school. I wish it were over already. People must think that I LOVE studying and crap just cause I get straight (almost) A's. Like that's all I do. HAH, no. I'm a minimalist when it comes to work...I just somehow get it done well enough or study just enough to get good grades. :/ I don't overextend! XD

Today and yesterday I took some lovely photos of flowers we have planted around our house. ^_^ Gawd, I love them!! <33 I LOVE MY CAMERA. I love its macro setting...I can get so super up-close~~ I'm proud of some of these pics, especially the daffodils one. It almost looks like one of those stock wallpapers Windows gives you for your desktop. XD
♥Daffodils
♥Little white flowers
♥Tulips in the sun
♥Nectarine blossoms

Now about my title. Sometimes I really feel like quitting the whole making graphics biz. But I love doing it. It's fun. Well, usually. It gets not fun when I'm stuck on something, or when I subject myself to critiques. Which is what I did today...if you're reading this and you were one of the people that commented on my critique request on Nami's world, that's fine. Don't get mad...cause I'm not mad at any of you, I'm mad at myself for how I handle these things. I just can't STAND criticism! That's the bottom line. The perfectionist in me hates being told things that are wrong with my works. I thought I've gotten a lot better with handling them, but sometimes I get more affected. Like today. I know I asked for advice, and I got some, but not advice that tickled me the right way. I already SAID that I knew my wall was messy looking. But what did I get? Comments telling me that it was messy looking. Uh, dur? I need help making it look LESS MESSY, not supposed advice telling me how bad it looks. I already know that. "Tidy it up." Ok, how? HOW? I thought constructive criticism offered solutions as well, right? -__-' To those who said these things, again I'm sorry if this little rant bugs you. I'm appreciative of advice, but I get annoyed when I've worked really hard on something...and then the feedback I receive isn't to my liking.

Then I figure, "Why did I ask in the first place?" Indeed. Why did I? If I can't handle the heat, get out of the kitchen, right? If I can't handle critiques, then get out of a situation that will bring it up. In other words, I shouldn't bother with art lol. That's just how I felt today. I've been working so long on that wallpaper WIP...that I'm tired of it. I feel like quitting it and not finishing. :/ Cause I DON'T KNOW what to do with it. And no matter how many times I ask people for advice on it, I haven't gotten any true solutions. *sigh* I'm just not good enough...

Anyhoo, made a new ecard at least. I really like it. If you don't, oh well. If you have a problem with it, fine. It's just a card that took me 15-20 minutes, not a masterpiece.

Sorry, I've been grumpy all day. From the moment I woke up I've been nagging at people. ~__~ *sigh* Here, I'll talk about sports. Phillies won tonight, a big win! A comeback. I was so upset when they were losing, lol, but then when we came back, it was awesome!! :3 And they won like crazy yesterday, too. So my baseball team is at least doing wonderfully so far! Flyers (hockey) play tomorrow...their last game of the season. T__T REGULAR season that is. If they WIN, then they'll be in the playoffs. If they lose...they won't make it. *sob* So for heaven's sake, they HAVE TO WIN! If they lose, I'll be mad lol. As if I'm not mad about everything else, right??? XD

Goodness, lol. I'm sorry again for writing so much and having most of it be so down. So negative. So ranting. So stupid. I just had to get it off of my chest. Again, if you were one of the ones critiquing my wip, thanks, but I've just been taking offense to everything lately. If you hate me for saying such things, fine whatever. I suck, ok? ANYHOO. Thanks for visiting me and reading all of this crap! *hugs* Take care~

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Sunday, April 4, 2010


same post as on my World. *with some extra info* HAPPY EASTER!

Hello!! *hugs* Thank you for the comments last time, Kiba, Stephy (is that how you want it spelled??), angelbest, and Capri-chan! Several of you stated how you still visit MyO more than theO. :) That's really nice! It makes me want to post more here. So I'll be copying and pasting more of my World posts, if you don't mind. That way you can still read them, if you want. ^_^ And then I'll try to post once a week, a really long one here, if it isn't long on my World lol. So yeah, thanks so much for all of your sweet words. You guys are great! <33



To those who celebrate it, I hope you have a lovely Easter today!! ^_^ Do tell me about anything special you're going to do...or you did. If there were young kids in my family, I'm sure we'd do easter egg hunts and whatnot...although, when I was little, I only remember doing one ever. XD We used to always have this brunch after church at this fancy hotel...and sometimes they would have an Easter egg hunt for the kids. I remember doing it once. Lol. And maybe one other time...but not often. We used to color eggs every year, too, of course, but we didn't this time. I guess it's just normal...as you get older, the "fun" things that make holidays really celebratory just sort of go away. :/

But believe it or not, we still get easter baskets!! As in...the Easter bunny came. XD My mom is so cute, so sweet. She loves keeping us old children little. We may all be 20++++, but she doesn't think that means we can't have fun. So I got chocolates, a gift card to Toys R Us (now I can get the new Ace Attorney), and I got some cute stuffed animals. <333 I always get stuffed animals! I LOVE THEM. If I had my camera on me, I'd take a pic of what I got. I got this adorable white bunny, but my faves...were this TY teddy bear (his eyes are HUGE AND FREAKING ADORABLE) and a TY hamster! Lol. XD I love them. I'm 21, but I feel like a little kid still. Ahah. ^^; I never want to grow up. I don't look 21, nor do I feel it. I suppose that's ok...right?? If you walked into my bedroom, you'd think that it was some 10 year old's lol. Winnie the Pooh bedspreads, calendars, light blue colors everywhere, stuffed animals up the wazoo! XD It's great.

We have beautiful weather. It's supposed to get up to 80 tomorrow!! O__O Just wonderful for the first pitch of the Phillies baseball season!! ^__^ Woot woot. Baseball is back, baby. Lol. I'm tired of all our losing winter teams. XD Oofuri season 2 started! FINALLY. But I haven't seen any subbed versions yet, so I had to watch it raw. Thankfully my Japanese skills are still good enough to understand most of it. :3

Oh, remember my hives? Yeah, from the spider bites or whatever. I still have them...they've kinda gotten worse. ^^; I'm slightly worried, but I guess they'll go away soon. They're just very itchy. Bleh. My brother is sick, so he's milking all the sympathy he can get. Gawd. He's so annoying. -__- Healthy or not. But yeah, because of our ailments, we didn't get to go to church today. :/ First Easter ever we weren't able to. Ugh, just bad timing!! (hey, saves us from some boring sermons at least, but I mean...the point of Easter is Jesus' rising...and worshiping in church...so I feel kind of bad about not going; we'll just pray at home) Anyhoo, yeah.

I'm watching hockey right now. Flyers. Our Flyers. They've done nothing but lose lately. ;__; They have to win!!! ***They won today! Yay!! :) But they have to keep winning. Otherwise they won't make it into the playoffs...it's sooooo horrible.

*thinks* Well, I guess that's all. Just wanted to do a quick Easter post. *hugs* Thanks for being such wonderful friends. :) Take care~

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