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Gao...*sigh* Hello, everyone! *hugs* Thanks, like usual, for your comments...for all of your tips on how to deal with my brother and all...and all of your similies relating him and his going through jobs. *laugh* "he goes through jobs the way a person with a cold does tissues!"~Reki (Claes); "he goes through jobs like cookies :D hehe.... i love cookies XD"~Rachel (mewmewlover) So, yeah, those were awesome. NNM, um...I don't think I could kick him in the balls...^^; I sure wouldn't have the guts to do that, and I know I'd get in trouble. Xanth *hugs*, yes, your card was great! I know you didn't draw it, but I still loved it! Hey, give me those Crasins! Thanks, Saijinto, for the wishes of having a greater day today and even greater tomorrow etc. Maiden of Ice...*hugs* I've missed you so much! ^^ Thanks so much for visiting me...and saying such nice things. Skomie, thanks for dropping by even though you didn't have much time to comment! Shizuka, your comment, like usual, was extremely sweet and sincere...I just don't know if I can be that strong. *sigh* kid buu byebye, hey! You never drop by! And I'm sorry I never come to your site...^^;
Ok, well, I'm in 7th period campus with Ms.Jones (like usual)...and I'm pretty darn bleh today. I'm listening to an anime CD with mp3s...lots of random ones...umm, so today has been pretty crappy for me. I've been depressed all day. *sigh* This feeling of worthlessness and weakness has consumed me...and I felt so uneeded. I feel like I'm really annoying to the people around me. For example, as you know (if you read yesterday's post) I wasn't in school (cause of the field trip), so I missed work. So today, English was my major concern...at the end of the day yesterday I went to see my teacher and ask her what I missed, but she was on her way to a meeting...and she kept on telling me that, but I just kept on saying stuff, as if I didn't hear her (maybe I didn't). So today, I wait to ask her in the beginning of class, but she tells me to wait until "she gets class started." She told it to me with a face like "you're annoying, go away." So, after that...we were supposed to go to the writing center to work on our 3rd memoir, and I was staying first to get what I missed. After getting the work, I left out of the room...to the library cause that's where we usually go...so I get there, and I notice that no one from my class is there. *sigh* Then I realized, "Oh, did she say writing center? Crap..." So I walk there, and I see my teacher in the hall...I profusely apologized for the mistake, blaming it on "the effects of cold medicine"...she just said, "Oh, it's ok...dont' worry about it," but the way she said it and how she looked didn't convey that message. Yesterday she gave back our first memoir (graded), and so I missed that, too...so I went to her to ask her if she had it...no, of course not, it was in her room...and so anyway, I don't want to keep rambling on here...I think you're all plain old bored and possibly confused at this point. So, the point is, I kept on asking her for stuff and for clarifications of things and I just felt really stupid, uneeded, and annoying.
I ended up hardly getting any of my 3rd memoir done...I just couldn't write about my humorous dining experiences when I felt super depressed. Instead, I just wrote down how I was feeling...I could've just posted that here, but I won't. *sigh* All during class, and especially after, I really felt like crying...I felt so pathetic and depressed...but I didn't. I didn't cry cause it would've been really weird to just all of a sudden start crying at the computer in class. Anyhoo, my mom and dad have been continuing their search for a house for us to move into. They found one that my mom really likes. She didn't get a reaction in it either...but then again, she's taking her powerful medicine, so it really does't matter. My dad says that if all goes well, we should be having Christmas in the new house...*sigh* That's not possible...we don't have anything packed...and it's not for certain that we'll get that house anyway...but still, we would have to move so quickly. I can't!!! I don't want to!! >< Plus, I'd be having my autobiography and stuff due around the same time...they'd expect me to balance all this school work with the stress and confusion of moving?? *sob* I hate this.
Yesterday, as far as my brother goes, wasn't too bad (there were a few incidents of him being annoying/mean, but not too horrible)...but it was one of my low days (after getting home). The field trip was great and happy, but once I got home...all those good feelings just went away. So I just felt depressed all yesterday, too. *sigh* I gave my oldest bro, Derek, a little mini counseling session...it was more like a mutual thing though...cause he's had to see a psychologist about his depression in the past, and so we have a lot in common. I've been to a psychologist before, but it wasn't for my depression...but anyway, we talked while doing the dishes and stuff. I hugged him a few times, too...cause well, I never knew he went to a psychologist and everyting. He's been sorta depressed lately about a lot of things, but I didn't know it was that serious. *sigh* I guess depression runs in the family; it's just that we don't do anyting about it (like meds or whatever). *sigh*
Sorry...sorry about this horribly depressing post. It's just how I'm feeling, so yeah. Also sorry that I won't have visiting time either...of course...luckily hardly anyone has updated yet today...so I won't have to worry too much. Ugh, well, I think I was going to say something else, but I forgot. So I hope you all have a cheery day despite my let-down of a post. ^^;
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