Friday, April 15, 2005

I am going to be gone for at least four days this vacation, so I hope you all have fun. See you laters!
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Europe
Well, he's off tomorrow to go to Europe. Ugo. He'll be over there from Friday morning to Saturday morning. I am so scared. I hope nothing bad happens to him while he is over there. Oh gosh, what if something does happen?? What would I do if I lost him completely?? I think I would die. I just . . . I dunno. I am worrying so much. He never even called or talked to me today to say 'bye, have fun this vacation, or anything. Urgh this sucks.

It is bad when your ex-boyfriend's best friend comes up and tells you to cheer up, becuase you look sad all the time. Abe came up to me during lunch and asked me why I always look so sad. I looked up at him and just stared. THen he told me to do something to cheer up, like join a sport or something. I told him I had tried, but I had failed too many classes (he must think me pretty damn stupid) and he said oh, well, find something, because it sucks seeing you so sad, and I was like, eh. Thanks for asking if I was alright, and he was like, no problem and walked off.

I hate not being with Ugo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thursday, April 7, 2005

I'm going to be at my dad's all weekend. I'll talk to you all later.
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Tuesday, April 5, 2005

My ex-boyfriend's dad finally e-mailed me back. I had begun to worry that there were hard feelings about what had happened between his dad and I, but he asked to save him a seat for the play I am in, and now I am all happy. See what happens when you listens to doubt? Only bad things.
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Monday, April 4, 2005

Well, Sunday I went shopping with my school nurse, who happens to be a friend of mine, and I got a whole bunch of things. I got a new purse, cream colored, a pair of sterling silver earrings in the shape of dolphins, I got a pair of silver hoop earrings, some corderoy pants, two polo shirts (one white with blue border and one kiwi green with light green border), some undergarments, socks, a container to store my notebooks, some lipgloss, some notecards for French Class, and the new Finding Neverland movie. We went to lunch before that. Then I got home and found some e-mails and replied to them.

Today I got home and found an e-mail from an old teacher that happens to be one of my role models and dear friend. It is nice to hear from her, seeing as we haven't talked for almost a year, nor seen each other. So it is nice.

I watched FInding Neverland for the second time this afternoon with my little cousin. Is it bad when you can quote hte movie as your watching it having only seen it twice? Yeah. I found a website with quotes from the movie before I saw the movie and was quoting it since then.
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Friday, March 25, 2005

Easter Weekend
Ok folks, I am going to my friend Crystle's tonight and tomorrow I am spending the night at my dad's. You probably won't hear from me 'til Monday. Have a happy Easter!
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Thursday, March 24, 2005

God I hate Ugo so so so so so so so so so so much!!!!!!!!! URGH!!!
He is so stubborn and ignorant and mean, and unforgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!! Come on man!!!!! It's been 7 months already, DAMNIT!!!!!! Urgh. Hate him. Hate him.. HATE HIM!!!! And I am stuc with him on an overnight trip to a college that I am forced to go to by the school!!!!!!! BASTARDS!!!!!
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Saturday, March 19, 2005

ok, I went to the school dance last night, and then my friends tried to hook me up with this Jeff Gordon guy who is really nice, but I don't have any feelings for, and I barely know him. I don't want to date him, but I do want to be his friend. I don't regret telling him we would hang out sometime, but I do regret that he thinks I might be interested. What should I do?
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Thursday, March 17, 2005

I know what you all are gonna say. You are gonna tell me to lay off the guy factor for a while. But it is hard when you dream of the same guy in two very similar dreams one right after another in the same night, especially when your dreams usually mean something.

I had a dream last night. Two dreams actually. The first one was at a school function, and I was talking to Ugo in this dream, and harsh words were said, and I ended up running off. Well, while I was running off, I ran into Zakariah Beane. And he caught me and asked me why I was in such a hurry and I told him I was running away, and he said what from, and I said my mistakes. Then he said it is never good to run away from things, or to hold them inside, and then I was like, well, I have nobody to talk to. Now, in my dream, as we were talking to each other, he hadn't let me go, and we were looking each other in the eyes and then when I said I didn't have anybody to talk to, he said, about an inch from my face, that I could always turn to him, that he had always been there to talk to, and then he kissed me. It was one of those soft, deep kisses, the kind that stole your breathe away. I can remember the kiss, and the feeling of his lips, even now, even though it was a dream. And then we stopped and we held hands and went to the school function and kissed again and then I woke up. I was gasping for breathe and I started to cry. It was two in the morning. I went to the bathroom to try to collect my thoughts. And then I went back to sleep. The second dream took place at prom. I ended up going to prom with my friend Rachel's boyfriend, though in my dream he wasn't her boyfriend, and I didn't like him. I guess we had gone as friends. Well, while we were at the prom, he had gone to the bathroom, and I sat on a window ledge, and then he came back with rachel and asked if it was okay to hang with her instead of me, and I said sure as long as I have a ride home. So they sat on the window ledge and I walked around, and somebody came up behind me and grabbed my arms, I looked up and it was Zak. He had come, and asked me to dance. I said yes, and we slow danced, and then the song ended. We went to his table, and he pulled out a chair for me, and I sat. We talked. He asked why I wasn't with anybody, and I said I had come with whatshisface, and that he had decided to hang out with Rachel instead. So he asked if I wanted to hang out with him, and I said, sure. Then he asked if I wanted to hang out with him more than that night, and I aske dhim what he meant. He said he meant that he wanted me in his life forever, and i was speechless. He came over and helped me stand and he held me close and kissed me. THen his mom came to pick him up, and they gave me a ride home. Then I woke up.

Look, I know you are probably like, so what? It is just a dream. But you don't know my dreams. They always mean something or are trying to tell me something. And I do not care if you think I am insane, but it is the truth. So now I am trying to figure out what they mean. Do I still like Zak? I think I might. But the last time I had liked him, he didn't like me. So I doubt he likes me now. URGH!!!
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Tuesday, March 15, 2005

DAMN am I tired and sore. My finger is sore, and my arms are sore, and my legs are sore, and my head/brain is sore. Urgh. Damn gym all to bloody hell. This is the last week of European Handball and then we move on to indoor soccer. Oh yay(says sarcastically). TTYL
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