Wednesday, May 10, 2006

   Where is he?....
"worry not for I am here,
To spend the day close to you.
To find a home where I belong,
and see the sunrise to greet the day."

I'm worried about a friend of mine. He didn't come to school today and I really want to know why. I forgot my cell so I can't call him but I'm worried so much... I try not to but, it's had because I have a crush on him. He may be older then me but sometimes he acts like a child so I really want to keep him safe. ya.......

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Tuesday, May 9, 2006

Wishfull thinking....
Me and My crush...
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   *sigh*
"Lazy days just pass me by,
Like dreams, there full of mist.
Nothing wakes me from my slomber,
For dreams mix with reality so,
That it's hard to see what's real or not."

I'm so tired today... I stayed up late to read 'Demon Diarys' And didn't put the book down untill 12am. I know it's my falt but I don't really feel like doing any work today though I have to... *sigh* sometimes I wish we didn't have to wake up and go to school at 7:30 every day.

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Monday, May 8, 2006

   I feel it...
I feel myself getting a little happier... It's strange. It kind of scares me because I'm changing so much. oh well.... I geuss I can't change it. It's nothing big. I geuss.....


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Thursday, May 4, 2006

This is a little bit me

Your Kissing Purity Score: 69% Pure

For you, kissing isn't a casual thing Lip to lip action makes your heart sing

Kissing Purity Test

Your Stripper Song Is

I'm a Slave 4 U by Britney Spears "I'm a slave for you. I cannot hold it; I cannot control it. I'm a slave for you. I won't deny it; I'm not trying to hide it." You may seem shy, but you can let your wild side out when you want to!

What Song Should You Strip To?

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These are strange

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often. You tend to take more than give in relationships. You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time. You're secretly hoping your partner will change for you. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Your Theme Song is Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd

"There is no pain, you are receding. A distant ship?s smoke on the horizon. You are only coming through in waves." You haven't been feeling a lot lately, and you think that's a good thing. The comfortable part is nice... but you should really work on numb.

What's Your Theme Song?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational. You are also giving and kind - a great friend. You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

Your Power Level is: 41%

There's a good chance you feel pretty powerful, and with good reason, you're already fairly successful. Keep developing your goals and skills, and you'll be surprised by what you can really achieve.

How Powerful Are You?

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006

   Pick on me all you want.....
Go ahead and pick on me all you want guys.... My only best friend seems to love to just because I have a stupid crush on him... I only wonder why he doesn't just tell me in my face that he hates me.
And to make matters worse, Everyone is glad I changed my avi... Well I'm glad too.... I Don't need more reminders that I'm ugly and fat... I get them to much at home.
I guess I don't have any friends at all... And that's ok... I'm fine alone... I've been alone all my life... what's the change? All my life I've been picked on and abbused... I don't care anymore... I'll always be picked on so what's the point in caring anymore. How could anyone love someone who's so stupid to even think that My 'friend' even wanted me to be friends with him in the first place. He doesn't want to hurt me... well he's not the first nor the last to hurt me... And it's mostly me... I can't stop acting that way to him and I can't even stop myself from wanting to be with him...
I Hurt myself... it's all me... And you know what?... It starts to get to be a habit to what to kill myself. The more and more I think about it... The more it looks like the only answer. I wont of course because I'm a cowerd but Right now there's a lot of gangs around our little town and I'm wanting to be the next victim... And no one would care if I was...
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Tuesday, May 2, 2006

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Monday, May 1, 2006

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   Not feeling well....
I'm really not feeling well today... I just started taking a birth control pill yesterday (I know what your thinking and your wrong. I'm not 'doing it' with anyone nor would anyone want to. I'm taking them for my... I don't really know what it's called. The cemicals in my blood that control my emotions.) I feel really sick and I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't want to eat anything and because I had to take a sleep pill with it, I'm drinking pop which isn't really good anyway. And not only that, I'm having a hard time with freinds. Sion doesn't even care about me and right now I don't think that Vicca even cares. She doesn't even answer when I call. I wish I knew if one if any of my friends (not over the internet) cares. I dout it though.
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