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• Annie
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Birthday
• 1985-09-20
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Female
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• New York
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• 2003-08-26
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• Fiber Optics technician
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• Annalisse
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• Samurai Champloo, Cowboy Bebop, Angel Sanctuary
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• Dreams of starting her own streamline of the first American-made, traditional Japanese style manga.
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• Drawing [manga/anime style]
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myOtaku.com: animangademon
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Wednesday, February 9, 2005
My good, dear friend Sarah has had many rotten relationships. The poor girl just can't get a break from jerks--no, that's too nice--assholes. That's better. She's always unhappy, not too much as depressed, but just unhappy. I hate seeing my friends unhappy/depressed/hurting/et cetra. So, she takes me out to eat, walk around the mall, and just take a drive.
The entire three hours or so, she starts telling me about her one true love. And he is her special someone. Her face just lit up with soooo much happiness and love. I have never seen her so joyful talking about a guy, or anything. She carried on, and on, about how wonderful things were for them. (Oh, she's going to get him back, yay for her!) Anyway, I found myself trying to hold back tears--which was extremely hard, I teared up--because I found myself horribly and utterly depressed, and alone. I was happy for her, really happy for her. But at the same time, I was being hurt.
The one person I love lives 1,982.2 miles away. Yeah, we counted the miles..Anyway, he and I have a special relationship and bond. Everything that Sarah had told me, reflected upon my relationship. Only, he lives 1,982.2 miles away..and I cannot share memories with him. I cannot feel his touch, the caress of his fingers. I cannot see his smile. I cannot smell him. I cannot hold him. And I cannot be held by him...
She complained about how she's never had anything perfect. Except for that relationship. I really wanted to slap her..How can she tell me that? How? When she knows my situation..she knows I can't have anything remotely close to what she had because of that fucking 1,982.2 miles. I'm so low right now..I've been rather low for a while now, but I've tried not to let anyone notice. I don't want anyone to worry about me.
I just wish..I just wish, for once in my benefit, that I could have that happiness. The joy Sarah feels/knows, is the splendor I have in my heart...and I can't touch it, see it, smell it, hold it, and kiss it.
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