Sunday, February 27, 2005

....now, I had something to say. But of course, my absent mind just loves to be--absent?

Ah yes, I remember now. One thing that'll probably be eliminated [or cut down] when I return from school will be the sexiness, or all things related so much as to sexiness. Now, this doesn't suggest that I'll be a dried-up prune. I love being sexual, it releases alot of stress and makes for great inside jokes..or blackmail *points at APB and side glances at Shin*

However, there comes a time where I am serious and mature. I've watched the comments come in about doubting my maturity, and I didn't like what I saw. Yes, I'm to blame for this, but it seems whenever I retort and get on a serious topic, I'm not taken seriously. This angers me, because if I ask an opinion on my writing, it's usually commented on how "sexy" or "scandelous" it is, or how the innuendos are well thought out. Yes, it's all good and fun..but there's a darker part to the story that you have to really read for. Some people saw it, and I thank those who picked up on it.

I was trying to help someone with a poem today..er, yesterday. The ending went something like this:

"..In search of the love I can't find."

Close to that. I told him I didn't like the way it was worded out, and he told me "because you like sex [insert stupid smiley here]" This pissed me off. There was nothing sexual about his poem, and I had nothing but constructive criticism and maturity to offer him.

I'm not a fucking sex-holic. In fact, IRL if you were to even try to get a feel-up on me, I'd kick your ass. I'm very insecure about my body. I have no confidence in my appearance. I'd have to know you very well to allow a few playful touches. Shit, sometimes saying the wrong thing when I don't know you will get your head chopped off.

YES. I BROUGHT THIS ON MYSELF. Tell me something I didn't know. But that doesn't mean you [people in general] can just talk sex with me all the fucking time, and/or expect me to be sexual with every IM convo. I do like to talk about many other things than sex--er, except politics.

I've played around alot with the word "sex" and all things related. And it's going to change. And I don't need anyone IMing me with "I'm sorry if anything I say is offensive.." or some shit about having to watch what you say around me. Hell, if you want to tell me about your recent sex experience, that's fine. I don't care. A good discussion can come with that, and not be all innuendo-ish.

I'm not making any sense. I'm stopping now, lol. Questions? IM me.
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