Friday, February 27, 2009

So tonight I had a concert :3
It was a lot of fun. It was all solos and duets and stuff, and I had done 2 flute duets and 1 saxophone quartet. Although I messed up plenty of times, it was a lot of fun! When I got home I started to look for my camera and I finally (after like 3 months) found the charger for it! So I took some pictures :P
Anyways, tomorrow I have a performance with the Choir! It's a competition with other choirs around the state. We were told that we might not place sense we competing with choirs by the size of our school and our school is huge, but our choir is small xD but whatever.
I get to sleep over at Twili-chan's tomorrow~
though i don't think my mom really wants me to go anywhere this weekend :( But I'm really stressed and hanging out with Twili-chan usually helps that. So i want to go.
Oh! Guess what! I'm watching one of my favorite movies, "Chicago". Ha ha ha, I used to watch this movie like non-stop when I was in 5th grade. I haven't seen it in years! lol

i guess that's it
Bye-Bee~


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Thursday, February 26, 2009

What if the title of my post was
So today was pretty boring.
I didn't get much sleep again last night so I was very tired today. I literally fell asleep in two of my classes and after school. xD
But yeah, it seems that as long as I'm not trying to sleep at night time then I have no problems with it. which is weird, maybe it has something to do with the dark?

Anyways, apparently my school is throwing a St. Patric's day dance. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to go to it or not. I mean, I like to dance and all, but if it's going to be anything like Homecoming was then it'll just be a waste of money. Plus I wouldn't have anyone to go with, and that would suck. Especially sense it'd be like throwing all the couples in one room and watching a make out session. Ew. I have to see enough P.D.A just walking around my school. lol
But yeah. idk. I might just go for the hell of it. I could find a dress in my closest or something xD ha ha ha. And who knows, maybe it'll be fun :P

I have a concert on Friday, as I said yesterday, and it's really bugging me. This freshman girl picked out a duet so that we could play it together, only problem is that it's a really difficult piece and neither of us are getting it down. And now she told me she's sick so she's not going to play tomorrow, so we would preform it with only one day of practice under our wings. Yeah, no. If she's not going to practice it tomorrow then I'm not going to do that piece with her. We didn't prepare well, and I realize that's my fault too, regardless I won't make a fool of myself by playing a song horribly in front of a crowd. Meh. It bugs me. >.<
I hate how my usual escape from stress (music) is now the main cause of stress. :(

Well, I guess that's all for today.
Bye-Bee


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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

I stayed home today.
I toke another sleeping pill yesterday so that I could force myself to sleep. But the damn sleeping pill made me too tired in the morning to function, so i stayed home and slept until noon. Then I went to a dentist appointment. I hung out with my mom for a bit and then came back home and relaxed a bit. I'm kind of on a mental strike. Today is my day, and I refuse to do any homework.
Even though this will probably make things difficult later on, I don't care. I'm sick and tired of not having time to myself.
Ha ha, but what I plan to do isn't going to help that much. Right now I have a few clubs and things that I'm in.
I have band and choir, which often have out of school events like rehearsals and concerts.
Then I have my youth opera, Language of Birds every Saturday for 5 hours.
And then I have Youth Media project every Monday and Wednesday from 5-7. And 5-8 on days when we have a show.
Well, I'm kind of trying to raise money to go to two school trips. We're having difficultly raising the money, and I can't stand watching my mom struggle with it.
So I've decided to quit something so that I will have enough time to get a job. Only problem is I don't know what to quit sense I like all of them.
So what do I do?
My mom keeps saying she's not going to allow me to get a job, but I know that once I have one she won't object. So now I just need to figure out what to drop.

I have a concert for band on Friday, but I still don't know my music very well. And sense it's a duet, it'll be obvious if I mess up. So I'm kind of freaking out, trying to find out when the other person and I could practice together....

I wish there were more hours in the day.
That I could have enough time to do what I have to and then have some time to be with friends and relax.

But things don't work out that way.

I guess that's it today,
Bye-Bye



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Monday, February 23, 2009

Strange thing happened.
Have you ever been so stuck with fear that you couldn't move?


Last night I stayed up to do homework. The time I decided to just go to bed at was around midnight.
Once I was in my bed, I started to feel a fear.
I'm not sure exactly why I was so scared, but I was terrified of going to sleep. As soon as I began to fall into sleep I would concentrate on something, a pain, a face, anything to keep myself awake. I was terrified, horrified. I felt that if I fell asleep then I would not open my eyes again. I kept telling myself that I was being stupid and that of course I would wake up again. But the fear would not subside. I finally went to my mom's room (something I haven't done sense I was a kid) I'm not sure what I expected her to do, but I was scared and I didn't know what else I could do. She gave me some of her medicine and it put me to sleep right away.
Just thinking about it brings back the fear, though not nearly as strong as it had been, it is still really scary.

I have no idea what brought it on, Any ideas?
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Sunday, February 22, 2009

I feel like crap -_-
i have ever sense I went to rehearse Language of Birds. For the first half of rehearsal I didn't like speak to anyone unless I had to, and I felt really dizzy. So I drank some water and sat down whenever I could. During break one of my friends and I talked a bit. It made me happy because it's been really awkward between us for a few days now, and after we talked a bit today that went away.
It was funny, I told him I felt dizzy and he like helped me outside. Then we started to talk about stuff and he was like massaging one of my shoulders. I pointed it out and he told me to lean back on him (sense we were sitting down) and he massaged both of my shoulders while we talked. lol.
But at one point he was saying how disappointed he was in the girl he liked because she drank and stuff. Then he was all "I'm so glad you don't drink Willa." I considered telling him that I actually do drink, but there are some things better left unsaid, so I just laughed.
I don't like having specific things I have to hide from specific people. And I don't want him to like get mad at me if he finds out.

Anyways, I'm really tired. And I feel sick.
I really, really just want to go to sleep but I have tons of homework :(

I guess that's it,
Bye-Bee



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Friday, February 20, 2009

Right now is the happiest I've felt in god knows how long. I have realized just how narrow my outlook on life was, and now I feel like a thousand new doors have opened. I hung out with Marisela today and we usually would talk about our problems together, but today, I realized I didn't have anything to talk about. I'm happy. No acting, no false smile. Just me.
I can't even begin to explain it.
I feel like I'm flying high above my problems and my past. I feel free, loved, fresh, awake, Happy!
I honestly, once again, do not know exactly what brought on this change. I mean, I have tons of reasons why I should be sad, but I'm not.
Though this will sound stupid, I think it has something to do with this movie I just saw.
It's nice to see things work out for others, because then I realize they will work out for me too. Anyways, I just hope this feeling lasts.
That it'll become something I can call on whenever something goes wrong.

Well, whatever happens, happens.
I'm not going to worry about it now :)

-2/19/09-


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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

hmmm. What a strange night
So tonight a few things have happened.
We tried to find out more about the ghost in our band's bathroom and I got scared so bad this time though. I don't know why xD
And then we had our last basketball game of the season. And my friend and I sang the national anthem. It was fun :)

But halfway through the game I began to feel like shit. I don't know exactly why, but I just felt really depressed all of a sudden.

After the game I hung out with Marisela and, as usual, we talked.
We ended up talking about prom and I ended up telling her about how I was thinking about breaking up with Tony.
Sense Tony and I just didn't work out.
So I broke up with him.

Then I still felt like shit from the game and just felt really alone. I remembered talking about prom with Marisela and then I got the idea of asking Ariel (who has dubbed me as her prom date next year) to prom this year too. She said yes. So she's taking me to prom (unless things change) So that helped cheer me up a bit.

But now I'm just sitting here, feeling like crap.
I don't even know why I'm depressed though.
Ever sense like halfway through the basketball game I felt like shit.

I'm just going to go to sleep.
Maybe I'll feel better by the morning.


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Monday, February 16, 2009

I feel like I should write a post, but I honestly don't know what to write about today xD

I didn't so much really,
just cleaned the house and picked up my brother.
A pretty boring day, but it was sort of relaxing.
The test results for my mom's test came in today and it turns out she doesn't need to get the surgery tomorrow after all. Thank God.
But she's still in a lot of pain... so yeah.

My sister and I are making my brother play Silent Hill soon :D lol, I can't wait.
Oh! It was funny at Twili-chan's house we were playing Silent Hill 3. We like spent a freaking hour trying to find something that was seriously right next to us in the game. It was funny I was in mid-sentence when we found it, I don't remember what I was saying but it was basically
"Blah blah bla.... Twili... O.M.G! *We both crack up laughing* It was right there the whole freaking time!" ha ha ha.
I suck at Silent Hill though, cause whenever we see a monster I scream and it's hard to run away or kill it. lol. But we somehow beat the first boss. Though Twili-chan killed it, we kept switching off lol.
Anyways, I guess that's it for today.
Bye-Bee~


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Sunday, February 15, 2009

Woo~
I'm at Twili-chan's house :D
We're over here all chilling.
I didn't get online Thursday or Friday because I had concerts. It was a lot of fun!!! On Thursday during school we, the choir, went to 5 different schools and preformed for them ^^ I got to do my solo and I remembered how amazingly fun it is to sing in public! It's hard to explain lol.
But yeah, I think I'll join music theatre next year if I can. Cause that would like combin too of my favorite things, singing and acting.
Anyways, I went to the doc's yesterday and they basically told me I'm working myself too hard and that I should consider going to counseling. They also gave me some med's for a sinus infection and for my ears. But yeah, the concert was great!! I was super tired after them, but my voice made it through :D
And I did really good on my solo, lol it made me all happy.
Plus it was just a lot of fun! Now when I hear any disney song that was sung at the concerts I think of the person who sang it as a solo or the group singing it. he he.

Yay! we're watching Aladdin :)
One of my favorite movies.

I guess that's it for now,
bye-bee~


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Thursday, February 12, 2009

I can sing!!!!!!
YES! my voice has now recovered enough for me to sing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy!!
Just in time for tomorrow's concert xD
awesome.
I'm still chugging down honey though, just in case :P
Ugh I Hate the taste of honey :(
It'z way way too sweet xP

But yeah.

Today was an okay day, except after school I had choir rehearsal and at that tie I couldn't sing yet, so I just kind of danced with them, but I almost fell off the risers! >_< Those things are freaking scary!!! It bothered me a lot because everyone was able to work on their solos and I really wanted (and seriously need) to but I couldn't sing yet, so yeah. :( I don't think my choir teacher will let me sing my solo tomorrow cause we haven't practiced it together...
But I'll show her tomorrow morning that I have it down. :)

I got my PLAN test scores today and found out I did above average :D I'm so proud of myself. lol and whats more is that the subject I did best in was science xD which I thought I sucked at. ha ha. I also got a Chemistry test back today and I was one of the only people who got A's! I was 4 points away from the top score in our class. ^_^

I guess that's it for today :P
Bye-Bee~



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