Monday, November 27, 2006

   god damn it!
stop freaking going around what you really mean! if she didn't want me there then why was i? i was there to try and help but apparently i was causing drama! well you know what? drama can kiss my ass because i am so freaking sick of all the drama and hurt you people keep throwing at me! so just knock it off and stop yelling and whinning and complaining! i'm so sick off this crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sunday, November 26, 2006

   E - M - O S - O - N - G ! - ! - !
Dear Diary, Mood-Apethetic

My life is spiraling deathward. I couldnt get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert. It sucks because they play some of my favorite songs like Stab My Heart Because I Love You and Rip Apart My Soul and of course Stab Me Rip Stab Stab and it doesn't help that I couldnt get my hair to do that flippy thing either like the guy from that band can do.

I'm an emo kid, nonconforming as can be
You'd be nonconforming too if you looked just like me
I got paint on my nails and makeup on my face
I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs

Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag
I call it freedom of expression girls just call me a fag
Cause the dudes look like chicks and chicks look like dykes
Cause emo is one step below transvestite

Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo
I don't jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo

I'm dark and sensitive with low self esteem
The way I dress makes everyday feel like Halloween
I have no real problems but I like to make believe
I stole my sisters mascara now I'm grounded for a week

Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
I can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing
Girls keep breaking up with me its never any fun
They say they already have a pussy they don't need another one

Stop my breathing and slit my throat
I must be emo
I don't jump around when I go to shows
I must be emo
Dye in my hair and polish on my toes
I must be emo
I play guitar and write suicide notes
I must be emo

...My life is just a black abyss you know? Its so dark and its suffocating me, grabbing a hold of me and tightening its grip. Tighter than a pair of my little sisters jeans...Which look great on me by the way...

When I get depressed I cut my wrist in every direction
Hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection
I write in a LiveJournal and wear thick rim glasses
I tell my friends I bleed black and cry during classes

I'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth
You can read me 'Catcher in the Rye' and watch me jack off
I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life
If I said I like girls, I'd only be half right

I look like I'm dead and dress like a homo
I must be emo
Screw Xbox I play old school nintendo
I must be emo
I like to whine and hate my parentals
I must be emo
Me and my friends all look like clones
I must be eeeeeeemo

...My parents don't get me ya know? They think I'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy...well a couple of guys but I mean its the 2000's can't 2 or 4 guys makeout with eachother without being gay? I mean chicks dig that kinda thing anyways.
I don't know diary sometimes I think you're the only one who gets me. You're my best friend.
































I feel like tacos. . .
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Monday, November 20, 2006

   i hate me...
i just want to cry...but i can't...i don't know why...he hasn't called...it really hurts...i don't know what to do anymore...why won't you believe me...i was telling the truth...but how do i compete with her...she's older...cuter...smarter...better than me...except that i like you back...but i messed that up because i couldn't be there...and now i don't know what to do...
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Saturday, November 18, 2006

   i am me
i don't care if you hate me because i wear baggy guy shorts and pants, and baggy pants with chains all over. i don't care if you don't like my razor blade necklace, or my black makeup. i don't care if you don't like my emo hair cut or the way i walk and talk. i don't care anymore that you hate me and don't talk to me. i don't care that you hate the fact that i'm bi. i don't care that you hate me, 'cause i'm through with you and your selfishness. not everything's about you. it doesn't matter that i made out with her or that i have scars on my legs from my agony's release, i am who i am inside, not the package on the outside. love me for me and who i am, not the crap in my past or the way i dress.
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   "date gone wrong"
ok, so, this really great guy i know asked if i would want to go hang out with him and ashley and dan at the mall today. dan and ashley are going out. i really like aldo(the great guy), he's a funny guy and at homecoming he helped make me feel better, he's really sweet and is pretty cool. when he called me after work from the mall to see if i was coming i had to say no. my mom is sick and she won't take me anywhere, she's really bad, as much as i really want to go i don't want to make her feel any worse. basically it all falls down to when we hung up his voice was completely the opposite of when we'd started talking, he'd been laughing and happy. i really don't think he beleived me! i do like him but i can't drive, i don't have my permit even! which is pathetic because i'm 17!!! but i have no way to get up there and i hate the way his voice sounded before we hung up! help...
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Sunday, October 22, 2006

   . . .my homecoming disaster. . .
homecoming is officially cursed for me. i had my school's homecoming dance last night. last Tuesday my friend adam still didn't have a date so i told him i'd be his date if he wanted and he said sure right away. i like, well i liked, adam. my friend joe rented a limo and adam was going in it so i did too. everyone had a blast, we went out to dinner and had fun. adam paid a lot of attention to me, he even kissed me 3 times. but when we finally got to homecoming he kept disappearing. half way through the dance i was sitting down on the floor with my knees bent up leaning against them. i had a stomach ache because i drank like 2 energy drinks last night and i was nervous about adam and i was still a little bit upset about matt. then adam came and sat down next to me. then he said that he just wanted to be really good close friends with me, that robert had told him that i was still a little upset about matt(how did robert know, i hadn't told him or stephanie{one of my best friends} anything about how i was feeling, the didn't say anything to me the whole dance), that he didn't want me to be mad or upset at him. when he finally left i started crying and headed straight to the bathroom. i spent the rest of the dance avoiding adam and trying not to cry, but i kept turning around and there he was and i just kept starting to cry. how was i not supposed to feel upset about that? he lead me on, he KISSED me 3 times. after homecoming was over i was standing by my friend austin because he said he'd take me home, no way was i going back into the limo with adam, when adam started heading right towards me. i turned my head away so i could see adam, hoping he wouldn't recognize me, but i was one of the only ones wearing a white dress. he came up behind me though. the minute i saw him in his stupid tux shirt i bolted outside. i would rather have frozen than stuck around for what he was going to say so i did. i don't know how i'm ever going to be able to go into my 7th period class ever again. he sits almost directly behind me in that class and the teacher lets us move around and talk to people the whole class period. there is no way to measure how stupid i feel. i don't know what to do.
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Saturday, October 21, 2006

   birthday birthday birthday...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY IN 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FINALLY 17!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wednesday, October 18, 2006

   it's no use...
the hell with friends and life and boyfriends...it's all a big lie...no one really cares about me...so why should i stay around anymore...
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Saturday, September 16, 2006

   trust

What does your anime character look like? Girls Only! (Tons of pics!) by Shira_Hoshi
Name:
Age:
Fave Color:	BlueBlackRedGreenYellowGreyWhiteOrangePurpleOther
Birthdate:
Your Character:
What you Desire:	Trust

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   am i hot?

are you a beautiful anime girl (girls only) by ayane isozaki
Name
Favorite color
Date of birth
Girl
Are you beautiful	Yes no doubt =D
Quiz created with MemeGen!

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