Tuesday, April 10, 2007

   continuation from yesterday
so after i finished looking around daniels site i went to find aprils...this one was harder to find, at first i couldn't figure out how the hell i was going to find it...but then i remembered that i still had some/most of the messages we'd sent eachother in my myspace mailbox so i went and looked and sure enough there they were and there she was....

so i looked around on her site, read some of her blogs, read the messages we'd sent each other, and then i looked at her pics, most of them are really cute...

so i messaged her...i wasn't sure how that would turn out...
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Monday, April 9, 2007

   lots of stuff
okay, so first of all matt asked me out today and i said yes

april might be back in town...i don't know what to think...

the other night i was on the computer until like 4 am messing around on myspace. for some reason i decided to try and find daniel and april again. because of what happeed they took me off their friends list and i did the same to them. i knew how to find daniels so i found it right away. i read a blog of his and it kinda had to do with all of us back in colorado and i ended up commenting and telling him stuff i needed to. to be continued tomorrow
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Sunday, April 8, 2007

   i'm a happy emo right now (//.^)
hey ya'll!!! sorry its been so long since i posted!

i'm in arizona, but i have to leave tomorrow...and i really don't want to!!! T.T

my sister and her boyfriend live here. i love it here. it's always warm, unless you turn air conditioning up too high. my sisters boyfriend has a crotch rocket bike, not the small little ones, the real sized ones. he's taken me out on it twice and i love doing that! its so much fun!

before we came back tonight we stopped and talked, mind you it was like midnight. lol! so he wanted to talk to me alone and i have a whole new respect for him. he's totally different and i love it! rae said that she thought he was a homophobe but he's totally not! he was talking to me and told me that if anyone ever messes with me about my being bi to talk to him. he will be my brother, and he basically already is. i can talk to him whenever. i trust sean, and thats most of the reason i'll go out on the bike with him. but he's a crazy cool guy and i'm so happy that him and rae are together. he really wants me to move down here and i love the idea but my mom would never go for it and they move to florida in a few months. i'm going to definetly be visiting florida for a week or 2 by my self! i get to go visit them without my mom tagging along! ^.^ YAY!!!

well, its about 1:30 in the morning so i'd better head off to bed soon. i got to go to hot topic, my HEAVEN!!! if i could live there i would!!! OMG!!! so i really want a jacket from hot topic and i was determined to get one while i was here and i did! i love it! ^.^

toodles and good night ya'll!!!
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Friday, March 30, 2007

   wakakakaka
i'm really tired right now and its driving me nutts...

i'm also in a don't touch me mood...and a crying mood...its so weird..i started crying for no reason at lunch...

matt never called me last night so i was bored all through 4th hour...i want to cuddle with him...yet i don't want other people to touch me...weird...
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Thursday, March 29, 2007

   tara tara tara tara
don't have much to say to ya'll today! sorry, i'm really sleepy and i have to finish coloring the anime girl me and ickus drew during 3rd hour. stupid matt wouldn't let me sleep during 4h and 5th...
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

huwaaaaaaaaa!!!
hahaha russianllama just dropped a skittle into my melted blizzard thingi from good times!! haha and we couldn't get it out cause it just dropped to the bottom! russianllama thought it would float!!! OMG!!!

simpleplanluver, i'm sorry i haven't been on my aim lately my account on aol is all fucked up so yeah! i'm always on yahoo! ^.^ i have it conected to my phone!

cook is bribing me yet again with a free coffee pass in the library. our school library sells coffee on wednesdays and cook gives out free coffee passes as rewards for her students. she wants to "discuss my options for dropping the class" which basically means she'll tell me i'm full of shit and that i'm not dropping her class but she can kiss my pretty white ass if she thinks i'm coming back to her class! m'gay? lol...i got that from alex..

yeah...

so instead of walking around the school during 4th and getting yelled at by teachers to get the hell out of the halls i went and hung out with matt! ^.^ we drove around with me not knowing where the hell we were going and as i guessed we ended up at colts house. i got to hear them practice, matt and colt are in a few bands together. matt plays bass guitar and colt sings/plays guitar. if i'm spelling guitar wrong i don't care, i don't know how to spell there for i shall become a stripper! (russianllama...)

well...hmmm...what to say what to say...ew russianllamas boyfriend is coughing up blood...uhoh...not good at all!!! =(

austin says touch me where i pee!!!

i'm thinking of putting me and ickus's and codies role play up on otaku, its so fucking funny! what do you think? should i?
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Tuesday, March 27, 2007

   OMFG
cook is trying to bribe me to go get my grade from her! omfg!!! she's so stupid!

so i gave my drop form to taylor this morning so she could get the signature and my grade from cook so i can drop the class. so i see codie after my lunch period and she goes ickus has a bunny for you from that person(cook). so i'm like O.o a bunny?

so i ran into ickus before this period and i say you have a bunny for me? O.o and she laughs and pulls out a bunny pez dispencer!!! omg!!! what am i, a 2 year old???

so she tells me that cook wouldn't give her the grade. she also said that cook told her to give me the bunny if i come talk to cook and not to be afraid. ickus said it's not fear but i'll tell her. she's fucking trying to bribe me!!! OMG!!! this is how shittty my school really is!!!
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Monday, March 26, 2007

   algebra can kiss my ass this year
ok, my algebra teacher was a fucking bitch! omfg!

so i've been planning to drop that class for a month, i just have never gone to get the damn form. today sent me over the edge.

a week or 2 ago we had a take home test that we had to do over the weekend. she said we could work with other people as long as we didn't have all the same stuff. so me and my friend codie worked together, she's crazy and i love her!

so today she says she needs to see me and codie and logan and aaron after class. she acused us of cheating on the take home test! after she told us we could work together!

so she bitches us out 5 minutes into the next class...then she says that we have to redo all the problems we got wrong and hand them in to show that we know the material and to prove that we should get the points!!!

so we're all just standing there. then she asks if we have anything we want to say. none of us say a word. she goes do you want to say thank you or i'm sorry? and yet again we just look at her. she looks at me and i just look straight back at her. what am i supposed to do, say thank you for bitching me out for something i didn't do or say i'm sorry that your a bitch?!?! OMFG!!! so she looks at me and goes do you have something you'd like to say? i kept my mouth shut. so she goes do you think what you did isn't right? i flipped...

so i said - your accussing me of cheating when i didn't and you don't care! i don't need this class i'm dropping it! i don't need this! and i started to walk out of the room. she goes alex come back in here. so i stopped at the door and said - why? i don't need to keep being bitched out by you every day! and i left...

i got to lunch and i was crying because i was so pissed off! just ask russianllama! i was CRYING!!! so i asked her to go with me to get my class drop form and she said yeah sure. so we go into the counselors. I HATE COUNSELORS COMPLETELY THEY DON"T HELP!!! so i ask if i can get a class drop form and the counselor goes well do you want thre form or do you want to talk about it. i said i wanted the form and explained and the bitch basically said i was full of shit! omg! i hate this damn school!
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Friday, March 23, 2007

   my little secret - all american rejects
omg! i love that video! all the confessions...wow...the one where this girl says she tried to kill herself 3 years ago and now people think she's happy but she still wants to die...wow...
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   =3 RAWR ICH WILL DICH ESSEN!!!
AHHHH! GET MY MURTAGH OUT DA DAMN CAR!!! ^.^ only ickus and codie will get that, that makes it so much more fun!!!

ok, so have ya'll seen Eragon? WTF?!?! they screwed the book over! OMG!! but the guy they used to play murtagh is SO FUCKING HOT!!! OMG!!! -glomps murtagh- HE IS MINE!!! though me and ickus share him in a time share, we have him every other week. i don't know who has him this week...must remember to ask ickus...GAH HE'S SO FUCKING HOT!!!

my oreo is not here and ich weiss nicht =(

sorry for all the random german...

tarter sauce...lmao...

ok, so i went on to jameses myspace yesterday and i saw that people were leaving comments saying they couldn't believe what had happened and that they were sorry and they didn't want him to cut. so i was like O.o ? so i commented him and asked him to talk to me as soon as he could. he got his phone back this morning YAY! so he texted me and i asked if he was ok and he said he was fine...and i asked if he was sure and he goes i don't know...so i asked what happened. HIS BROTHER COMMITED SUICIDE!!! TT.TT i'm so sad for him!!! omg...i don't know what i would do if my sister commited suicide!!! omg...

i remember the day my friend steven almost commited suicide. i was so scared...i didn't want anything to happen to him...i didn't know what to do! he sent a note to school with another friend for my friend brittany and i was there when she read and started to look really scared. so she handed it to me and i started crying! she asked what we should do and i headed right for the counselors. i hate them but we needed them. so we turned the note in and they said they were going to call his house and all that. so we went back to our classes. in second a counselor came to find me and asked me questions about what was going on with steven in the past few weeks. he'd gotten really depressed and kept saying how better off we would all be without him. i can't believe i'd never thought he would go that far. but for the longest time that day they didn't tell us anything so i walked into my bio class crying my eyes out scared to death that he was dead. so i got sent to the counselors and they told me that he was fine. i was so releived! i don't know what i would do without steven! omg i love him so much! i don't know how much pain james is going through, and i'm not going to pretend that i know. i do know how much pain i was in not knowing if steven was ok, i've never cried more in my life. i can only tell him that i'm here for him and that i love him very much. i told him to take care of himself no matter what. he told me that he cut the night his brother died but it didn't help. i don't think cutting helps with that sort of pain...

i am proud to tell you all that i haven't cut for a month. i am proud of myself for that fact.
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