Friday, March 23, 2007

   =3 RAWR ICH WILL DICH ESSEN!!!
AHHHH! GET MY MURTAGH OUT DA DAMN CAR!!! ^.^ only ickus and codie will get that, that makes it so much more fun!!!

ok, so have ya'll seen Eragon? WTF?!?! they screwed the book over! OMG!! but the guy they used to play murtagh is SO FUCKING HOT!!! OMG!!! -glomps murtagh- HE IS MINE!!! though me and ickus share him in a time share, we have him every other week. i don't know who has him this week...must remember to ask ickus...GAH HE'S SO FUCKING HOT!!!

my oreo is not here and ich weiss nicht =(

sorry for all the random german...

tarter sauce...lmao...

ok, so i went on to jameses myspace yesterday and i saw that people were leaving comments saying they couldn't believe what had happened and that they were sorry and they didn't want him to cut. so i was like O.o ? so i commented him and asked him to talk to me as soon as he could. he got his phone back this morning YAY! so he texted me and i asked if he was ok and he said he was fine...and i asked if he was sure and he goes i don't know...so i asked what happened. HIS BROTHER COMMITED SUICIDE!!! TT.TT i'm so sad for him!!! omg...i don't know what i would do if my sister commited suicide!!! omg...

i remember the day my friend steven almost commited suicide. i was so scared...i didn't want anything to happen to him...i didn't know what to do! he sent a note to school with another friend for my friend brittany and i was there when she read and started to look really scared. so she handed it to me and i started crying! she asked what we should do and i headed right for the counselors. i hate them but we needed them. so we turned the note in and they said they were going to call his house and all that. so we went back to our classes. in second a counselor came to find me and asked me questions about what was going on with steven in the past few weeks. he'd gotten really depressed and kept saying how better off we would all be without him. i can't believe i'd never thought he would go that far. but for the longest time that day they didn't tell us anything so i walked into my bio class crying my eyes out scared to death that he was dead. so i got sent to the counselors and they told me that he was fine. i was so releived! i don't know what i would do without steven! omg i love him so much! i don't know how much pain james is going through, and i'm not going to pretend that i know. i do know how much pain i was in not knowing if steven was ok, i've never cried more in my life. i can only tell him that i'm here for him and that i love him very much. i told him to take care of himself no matter what. he told me that he cut the night his brother died but it didn't help. i don't think cutting helps with that sort of pain...

i am proud to tell you all that i haven't cut for a month. i am proud of myself for that fact.
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