Wednesday, September 14, 2005

  

	Well, I had another bad day... I missed dance, my friend never called, no one is on the internet to talk to, Outside is dead from lack of children, today was the only day my firend could go to dance, and I am having a drawling block whereas I cannot drawl. Hn. only hoping things will maybe get better... It looks like it is going to rain... which reminds me... Rain Rain, rain, go away. Postpone yourself 'til another day. When you come I'm made to think, And then I will not sleep a wink. Depression come with thinking too, And that makes me really blue. So why don't you just go away? I promise you can come another day. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ... I was digging through my drawers to my desk and unearthed quite a few old poems I wrote. Yep. Well, have a good day!

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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

  

	Mike told me that I should go over to his neighborhood this weekend, but, since Missy is in trouble, I doubt she will be able to have me over there. Then he suggested to me his house this weekend... but I'm not sure, I met him last weekend... is that rushing things a bit? I mean we talked.. ALOT. But I'm not sure if it was enough... not so much as to convince me... but to convince my overprotective mother... We're just friends... but still. Do I beleive he'll pull a knife on me or anything like that, hec no. Any inappropriate behavior? Very, very, doubtful at this point... but my mom doesn't know us the way we do... so will she be trusting...

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   My life is choas...

	Sigh.... what a horrible day... things just went wrong. Hopefully things will look up... everything is just a mess right now. Grrr, and it's not like I can really tell anyone cuz it's too complicated to explain. What's more, my puppy looks under the weather. She won't even whimper to get out of her cage... she'll just lay there. She's fine, she's walking around... but I think something's wrong. Kai lover will not be on for a long time, and therefore will not be posting for a long time. Yay! Things are better! I am talking to one of my new friends who is... *bum bum bum*... Mike! Whee! But I think I am confusing him.... ^_^' But then again I confuse alot of people.

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Monday, September 12, 2005

   Poem for you

	Here's a poem for you cuz I thought a poem would calm em down... GOODBYE Please don't tell me goodbye, Just tell me your not going to die. I knew it would happen someday... That you would forever go away. But why does it have to happen today? I love you so much I don't know what to say. Now I take your hand and start to cry, As I see how much you wanted to try... I knew that you wanted to stay, As I stand by this bed where you lay. So why are you going to go? You know that I would love to know. There are so many thing I have to ask, But too little time to accomplish such a task. I watch in horror and get number, As you prepare for your eternal slumber. "I love you," I whisper,"and that's not a lie,", As you forever close your eyes. "Goodbye." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hope you liked it, and these poems are copyrighted. And even if they weren't I would hope that you respect me as a person enough to not take my work... not that you can now...(reality that some people are not trustworthy came up and smacked me in the face yesterday, not saying I don't trust you... just stating a old hard fact of life)

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	I am so upset. You see, I fell into emotional meltdown. I was talking to my friend about how Ib feel and all she said was "Yeah, I know." I wasn't even important enough for her to stop playing her game and listen to. That stressed me even more. I went for a walk and started to cry. I mean, I give everyone advice on their problems when they tell me about them, but then when I need advice no one wants to give it to me, or won't even try to sort out my problem to help. Nobody seems to care anymore. I always get a "Whatever, or I don't know, or Yeah, or I know." That's not advice, it's a statement. I hate the words Whatever. It tells me that the person using it doesn't care about what we're talking about. (Not that you can't use it Missy, it just stresses me even more when I am having a big prob). And now I am responsibly for everything, my high grades (you know what ones I'm talking about), the house chores, my dog, my hamsters, my problems... And Everyone is yelling at mer at hom. I can't even be on the internet at night o calm me down, or on the phone, or outside, which calms me down the most. I'm just... so stressed right now it's not even funny...

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Sunday, September 11, 2005

   HI EVERYONE!!!!!!!

	Hi everyone. I went to the mall today with my friend, but the store we wanted to go to was not open, and they said it would be open yesterday. Grr...... we were mad. Anywho, me and Kai lover(Missy) got in trouble last night. I slept over at her house and we went for a walk. Later, we ran into one of her guy friends (who is now one of my guy friends), and we went back to her house. Well, we were talking on her front porch when we all decided we were getting cold. Missy got out a blanket and we all put it over us. Only problem was, we started to get tired so we all laid down to go to sleep. There we were, one guy, two girls, and his puppy all laying on the front porch curled up beside one another, when his father drove by. Here he was supposed to be home at least 2 hours before that point in time. He took off, and we went inside hoping he wouldn't get caught. He did. His father came back looking very pissed cuz he apparently knew about us laying on the porch like that. He looked even more pissed when he saw me standing at the door(I was in the middle while we were laying down...)... heh heh, but then everything turned out okay, besides the fact we think he is in big trouble and I feel incredibly guilty. Don't be judgemental... we were tired... nothing happened so I don't know why it was such a big deal... and nothing would have happened cuz I wouldn't have allowed it to, and Missy wouldn't of either... and Mike (the guy) is too mature for that. Well, hope you have a good day... or at least what's left of it...

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Wednesday, September 7, 2005

  

	I am sooo happy! Soon I will be leaving to go to dance lessons! I will be taking jazz! ^_^ lol... only problem is, since there were not enough older kids in the teen dance class for jazz, I am stuck with the little kids. Oh well. Hey, I finally stopped apologizing for a bit! Yay! Well, hope you guys had/have a good day!

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Tuesday, September 6, 2005

  

	Oh no!!!!!!! Now I feel I'm being too anoying to you all!!! I'm sooo sorry. I think I've said some things I shouldn't that are really annoying. SORRY! (Kai lover: See what I say? Who gets these things in her head that she's being annoying anyway?) Oh no! Am I being annoying now with my apologizing?!? Anywho, my complaining and all must be getting old, but I can't help it. (Kai lover: Kayla, Kayla Kayla... Me: what did I do now? Kai lover: Your being Kayla again. Me: Oh, sorry. Kai lover: Stop apologizing! Me: Okay, O_O sorry... Kai lover: grrr......)

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   hi

	Kai Lover changed my site!!! Peace out to you Kai Lover!!!! lol. She's prolly thinking T.T "yea... whatever... don't even say those two words... your already too apologetic and mannerly for your own good..." lol. And if your reading this,Missy, your right I am! If all of you are wondering, me and Kai lover live in the same little town and go to the same little school. So we are best friends. I just don't use her real name cuz, you guys know her as Kai lover... heh heh, and now that I've wasted alot of your valuable time on stupid ramblings that you had no desire to hear, I must say the dreaded things that make my life so boring... I am okay today, picture day is tomorrow, and I have a big red dot on my head (okay, not so boring now, but soon everything will be normal again). So, my picture day will be a disaster tomorrow like always. I have no idea how it got there, I woke up and there it was. I mean the dot. Yes, laugh all laugh at the girl with the big red dot in the middle of her forehead. Haha. I bet you all have had things like that happen, I Know I can't be that different from everyone else... (everyone: O_O *cricket cricket*) Well hope you guys have what the Mcdonald's and other fast food restuarants call a "good one" *shrugs shoulders at the weird stares recieved*. I have to try to remove this spot... You know, I bet you anything it was that stuff my dad made for supper last night... I swear his food is radioactive...

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Saturday, September 3, 2005

  

	Agh. We gave my brother this walkie talkie so we know where he is... since only god knows half the time... and now it's beeping and all that and its very annoying. lol. But anywho, my parents are not allowing me to go to my bffs house cuz they want me to spend time with the family. God, I've seen them all week, isn't that enough? Well, if my other bf is going to be at her house, I am fighting for my right to go there. My parents want to go to the drive-in movie theater, but I don't wanna go. But talking to them about stuff like that is like talking to a brick wall. I can barely even talk to them half the time, they always assume the worst like I went and did something I wasn't supposed to do. This being said, I insist to you mother, since I know you are going to read this.. Hello, I am only thirteen! Show some trust!. lol. Well, now that I am finished that little outburst, I apologize about this post. I know I am complaining, and for that I am sorry. But it's good to vent so I figured I would...

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