Friday, January 21, 2005

   Mid terms are over, this is a three day weekend, and I feel GOOD!

Have any of you ever contemplated the wonders of a bar named Callahan's Place where anything can happen and no one will blink? In one book, there was two Psychics (one that couldn't control himself and another that shouldn't control himself), two Destory the Human Race Aliens (one that they helped and one that didn't have the guts to accept help), two vastly different Time Travelers (one Meddler and one that used a jail cell to do his time traveling), one Lady That Aged Amazingly Slow, Three Practical Jokers In One Story (a right bargan if you ask me), a Kid Who Wanted To Run Away From Life, and one Beautiful Relivation At the End. All the problems were fixed as best the people could fix them.

The stories were set up this way:
One funny beginnign
One heartbreaking middle
One beautiful ending.

Oh how I love this book! It is called Callahan's Crosstime Saloon and it's by Spider Robinson. It's science fiction, and I think some people should read it. Oh what wonderful stories.

In fact, I made up my own Callahan's Place. Be careful, because the accent this story is written in is kinda hard to read, but if you say it out loud, it should make sense. Ta da!

‘Ey kid, ‘ow ya doin’? Why, dis is da Mikaroo Kangaroo! A real nice place, ‘f you ask me. I’ve worked here all my workin’ life, and dats no small feat. I’ve seen regulars come an’ regulars go, an’ heard things that would be impossible anywhere else. We’ve ‘ad some psychics who couldn’ control demselves, quite a few take over the world alien types, and even some people who age just astonishingly slow. And den dere ‘as dat really bored immortal. By all dat’s holy he ‘as sure a case!
Whazzat, kid? Why da three fireplaces? Well, da one in da middle is to throw your drink into ‘f you agree with something ‘r just feel way happy, y’know? An’ den da one on da left is to toast t’ yer troubles. E’erybody usually tries t’ ‘elp and a solution’s usually found. An’ den da one on da right is t’ do ‘appy toasts! An’ furdermore, dere‘re two usual toasts. You see da boy a few seats ova? Well we call ‘im Da Kid, and e’ery night he does a ‘appy toast to Punday Night. Wha’ dis Punday Night is, I dunno, bu’ he must like it lots, hunh? And den Fair Lady – dat’s da girl in the Civil War dress ova at dat table ova dere – usually does an Amen Brodah in da middle fireplace and den dey go inta a corner and pun demselves out. Is gronaful, y’know? An’ den deres dat Shadowed Egyptian. E’ery single night, he toasts da Shadow Games in da bad fireplace. No, I’ve no clue wha dey are eidah. We tried t’ ‘elp ‘im da first dime, but he refused it fer some strange reason. Den he usually goes inta da corner an’ cries ‘imself out. Usually, Da Kid does his usual toast a while after dat, t’ cheer e’erybody up. Oh! Dat’s da Shadowed Egyptian in da corner dere, nursin’ a double mango. Yeah, dat guy in the white turban an’ robes.
Eh? Whazzat, kid? Where’s dis place located? Why, nowhere an’ e’erywhere at once! Y’see kid, we’re ‘ere when y’kneed us. An’ furdermore, when ya leave, no maddah how long ye’ve stayed, it’s two ‘ours since ya came in! Useful, hunh? An’ ya noticed that even tho’ we ‘ave three fireplaces goin’ on full a’ da same dime, it never gets ‘ot, did ya? Ah, yer a smart kid. Well, our place is chock full o’ paradoxies. The two ‘our problem, fer one, da not ‘ot problem fer another. And den deres da multiple world problem. Why, where’d ya dink dis cast o’ characters came from? As I said, we’re ‘ere when y’kneed us. An’ dat goes fer non ‘umans too.
Hunh? Whazzat, kid? Da regulars names, hunh? Well, dere’s Da Kid, o’ course. A right character, he gets drunk on caffeine. Yeah, dat stuff’s dat’s in soda an’ coffee, y’heard me right. An’ den deres da Fair Lady. Why, she’s da local whit mastah – ‘r should I say mistress – an’ she can out reason, out pun, out tall tale, an’ out sing anyone I’ve e’er met. Quite a looker too. ‘Er dresses‘re da most beautiful I’ve e’er seen, an’ she borrows from all cultures t’ get ‘em. O’ course deres da Shadowed Egyptian. He’s a mystery, y’know. No one knows were dat man come from, and no one knows where he’s goin’. Poor guy cries ‘imself t’ sleep e’ery night, tho’. A real sorry case. An’ da only odah regular wi’ a nickname is Da Silent One. Ne’er a word ou’ o’ her mouth, bu’ she’s a right good doctor, y’know? I mean, she can fix broken bones wi’ one tug, y’know? Now, don’ go cryin’ witchcraft, is jist healin’ magic, ‘kay? Oh, I see, is da same ding, hunh? Well, is accepted in ‘ere, do don’ get all ‘spicious, ‘kay?
Why, yes we get aliens! Mostly ‘umans, tho’. It’s a real ‘onah t’ get da occasional Puppeteer, too. Why, ‘ave ya ever seen dose dings move! It’s so wondahful, I nearly cried da first dime I saw one. Oh? You a science fiction buff? Ahh… good fer ya kid, good fer ya.
Y’know, kid, you don’ ‘ave t’ come ‘ere t’ get drunk, or anything like dat. Could be fer jist a good dime wi’ yer friends, ‘r ‘avin’ some good eats. Y’see wha’ I’m sayin’, kid?
Hm? Whazzat, kid? How much a drink cost? Fifty cents, ya jist gimme a dollah, and ya kin eidah throw yer drink in da fireplace – any one ya choose – ‘r grab two quarters on da way out.
So, kid. Y’gonna make a toast?

You like? Be sure to comment! (no one's been doing that lately! jeez...)

Well, see ja! *slips off*

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