Wednesday, April 5, 2006

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Notin Much to talk about so... _________ Here is some Ninja Wisdom for you... Ninja should never enter the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Never scream just before attacking another ninja from behind. This will only alarm the ninja that you are about to do something funky. Always wear a mask. You never know when you will see someone that you don't want to see you. TIP: (read this over and over till it makes sense) Always carry a spare ninja uniform. You never know when you will need to change into something less dirty in mid-battle. Never store shuriken in your underwear. Try to use the swords of your enemies whenever possible. This way you can throw them into other bad ninja without having to worry about retrieving it later. When trying to stop a run-away golf cart its best to pick up the back end (with hand if possible) so the wheels just spin in the air while the occupants start to get scared. When fighting on the golf course, crushed golf balls make a good blinding powder. Just grip the golfball firmly between thumb and for-fingers, and then squeeze! When necessary, the ninja star can be thrown with ninja toes. For example, say you are trying to gain entry into an airborne helicopter. You are using both hands to hold on and you want to plant a shuriken in the eyeball of the pilot, what do you do? Shuriken with ninja feet! Instead of forging your own calthrops, you can simply use the kids toy "jacks". If you are a evil ninja, you can just steal them from a child, or even a lesser-ninja. Simple way to tell what time it is without a clock is to call the local phone operator and ask them. Simple, but effective. Don't tell them your name. When preparing for battle, take some time to do all the hand signs of kuji-in. You will feel better and look cool at the same time. Always run sideways when possible. With proper application you can run through walls. When jumping far distances, always roll up into a ball. It will give an extra 50 feet of jumping height. Want to jump higher? Plant a corn stalk. As it grows each day jump over it. Gradually you will increase your jumping height as the corn grows. Always use your ninja names when speaking to each other in battle. Don't let sneaky golfers listen in to your conversations and wreck your plans. Try to fight in mid-air whenever possible. Try to keep your weapons on display, even in storage. You never know when you will need them to look pretty for a pre-revenge scene. Wearing black eyeliner is good for blending in with the environments. Especially good for public missions where photo ops may arise. Don't forget to wear your mask ____________ Like ma new BG?

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