Monday, May 8, 2006

   Huzzah! Let the world rejoice!
Listening to: Quand je vous amerai? from Carmen
Attempting: to get over another all-night insomnia-fest...

But it's okay, because I'm FINISHED!!!!! No more finals for me this semester!

Oh, and opera is great. It's a fine way to melodramatically celebrate! And I am celebrating, oh boy am I. So later today, I'm meeting people to go to Austin, where we'll just laze about in a couple of places and eat our fill of Greek food (yum!)

As my dear friend Sam would say, this is most definitely going to be a "mental health day".

Well, before I get to have fun, I have to make my apartment livable to other beings than pigs. So, I'm out.

a/j
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Sunday, May 7, 2006

   One more, and I'm out.
Listening to Death Cab for Cutie: Marching Bands of Manhattan
Attempting: to call my friend, who's supposed to meet me for lunch. I think she's still asleep...

Oh, yes. I have one more take-home final thingy, then I'm absolutely finished for the semester! Yippee! I still need to pick my thesis committee, but I have to discuss my topic with people. Meh.

a/j
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Friday, May 5, 2006

   I did it!
20 pages in less than 24 hours!!!!

Well, 19, but who's counting? Not me. I'm just glad I'm done, for better or worse. I need sleep so badly right now, but I'm slightly wired. Just in case you're wondering, it's abour 05:33AM. I am dog tired.

a/j
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Thursday, May 4, 2006

   20 pages by 2pm tomorrow
Okay. I'm done with the 10 page paper. Now, there's the 20 page mock-assessment thing. I am freaking out...but only a little. I have over 24 hours to do it. I need to get some sleep, and food in there somewhere, so I suppose we can subtract oh...4 hours? So that would be oh, screw the math! I need to get this shit done!

And, having said that, exit our heroine, stage left.

a/j
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Tuesday, May 2, 2006

   My teacher smokes crack. I know he does...
Okay. I now feel like a complete...stupidhead. I didn't fail my test. You know the one I'm talking about. The one I blubbered over the other day. I ended up getting pretty much the lowest B (O.o)you vould possibly imaine.

So, how did I go from thinking I failed to getting a B, you ask? Simple. My teacher totally smokes crack. I mean, my work on that test was half-assed, panicked, and totally not worth the grade I got.

What do you think? Does my teacher smoke crack, or do you think he just felt sorry for me?

a/j
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Thursday, April 27, 2006

   I had an exam. I failed.
Listening to: The Killers, Jenny Was a Friend of Mine
Attempting: to get over it.

I'm not an over-achiever. Really.

I just don't like feeling stupid.

And, frankly, after today's exam, I felt REALLY stupid. I mean, I promised myself that I would never let anything like this get to me, but I guess that's just another thing I'm going to have to get over.

After leaving 2 questions blank, three partially blank, and pulling random answers out of my ass for another question (all totalling up to about 40 points), I admitted defeat and handed in the test, then proceeded fifty yards down the hallway to the women's rest room to cry like a little girl.

Like I said, I hate feeling stupid.

It makes me feel like I can't do things for myself, like I'm helpless. And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's feeling helpless.

So, yeah. Today was a BAD day.

a/j
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Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Apparently, I'm a Porn Star?
I had my presentation today. We were supposed to dress to look "professional." So, I wore a black skirt, a white shirt (which I actually ironed)and one of my many ties. Heels, too! I had my hair up in a bun sort of thing. One of my classmates said I looked like an uptight librarian. I thought "wow. thanks." But she wasn't finished. Then she told me that I looked like I could take my hair down and be a porn star at any moment. All's I can say is, I hope that this doesn't turn into a new running joke.

a/j
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   My fears realized
Okay. So today's the big day. 15 minutes, 13 people, a PowerPoint projector, and me. I feel like I'm due for execution. *sigh* Thanks for the tip, aiden001. I'll try looking at the back of the room.

Anyhow, I have to go and get dressed (starched shirt, tie and heels...my absolute favorite *sarcasm*)

a/j
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Monday, April 24, 2006

   Public Speaking=Death
I know there are others out there like me. You know who you are. You're the ones who fear public speaking more than death. Maybe it goes back to old Rome, when the leaders were met with bloody resistance when their political orations were not to the liking of the majority? Or perhaps it's the deep-seated fear of mass-rejection of our ideas?

Whatever it is, I can say this much: I fear public speaking. It is avoided like the Bubonic Plague. So, on Tuesday, I'll be giving a 15 minute long presentation, and fielding five minutes worth of questions. Perhaps I should crawl under the proverbial rock and die, just to avoid this?

I have gotten better. At least I can speak in front of people without saying "Um" every three seconds. Even my "um" phase was better than my first brush with public speaking. Actually, since I wasn't able to get a word out of my mouth, I suppose it would be more aptly described as Public Silence?

Whatever.

So I'm pretty nervous about this. If ANYONE has a tip, suggestion, etc. that does not involve pretending they're not wearing clothes, let me know.

Shutting up.

a/j
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Thursday, April 20, 2006

   Angst and happiness?
Listening to: The Ataris, You Need a Hug
Attempting: Not a damned thing.

I've just been listening to the Ataris, and I think they're really full of angsty goodness. How can someone sound happy and angry at the same time? I dunno. There's also a song by Five Iron Frenzy that I just love. It's called "Where Is Micah?", and it's about a guy who's missing, because they (they only think this, they can't be sure) think they left him in Toledo. They're saying he ran away, and that they have a roll of duct tape for the next time he tries to run away. Ha! Also delightfully angsty.

I've coined a new term: Tactfully bitchy. This is what diplomats do when they complain. They're eloquent, and they'll smile while they stab you in the back. Therefore, tactfully bitchy!

Ah, I'm feeling a little odd, and now I'm rambling, so as the silly grasshopper in "A Bug's Life" says,

"Shutting up!"

a/j
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