Friday, December 29, 2006

new years resanegro
this christmas vacation has been pretty horrible. all i've done is sit at home, and breathe here and there. i can't wait for it to be over so i can get back to the schedule: walking to school with ma hommie, being asleep for the first three periods, laughing at mrs. sutera for a couple, more sleep, going to photo for two periods, then "pulling a rob" during espaniggerol. then goin to the hommie's house to make guns out of sticks, play hockey until it gets dark, then try to find and save taylor. and hopefully now we might go back to the gym. after the new year, i'm gonna try to go every day, and if danny goes, try to start to use the bench press (cause i'm a pusspuss and can't do it alone). hmm, what else will be on le new years resolnigger?? i've thought of a lot that won't be "life changing" but are just some things i don't do that i want to. like i said, so to the gym every day, wear my glasses when i read so i get used to them, never roll my eyes, try to talk more positively, especially about people, try not to appear as pathetic, be more athletic, try to assert myself (when i play football, first i try to let other people play and not me because i'm afraid i'll mess up and they'll get mad, but if i try, i just stand there with my arms ready. i now want to not care what people think if i mess up, run for the ball, jump for the ball, even fall if i have to... though i want to be more athletic, this was obviously a metaphor for something larger), go running every night, with my new dog rocky (hopefully soon), and if danny wants to, him and sammm, before the break i want to finish cry, the beloved country (do les journal entries and personal credo), read chapter 22 of THE KAGAN, and finish survivor. then, from maybe january to march, i want to read the whole divine comedy (the inferno, the purgatorio, and the paradiso). and for the chuck books, well rant comes out in may, which i want to preorder and start reading right when it comes out, and since i'll be reading for school and the divine comedy i guess i could give myself a little bit more than a month per book. so january can be lullaby, february-march can be diary, and march-april can by haunted. then may would be rant, then after i finish that until october i can read his nonfiction ones, the in october i can read zarour files, which i have no idea what it's about, but wikipedia tells me it'll be released in october. "GO NUCLEAR THE COWBOY TOLD US." hmm, back to dah list, umm, to not get as jealous as easily..that's a big one, to try to get eight hours of sleep a night, to eat only when i'm hungry/less, to not cling to my cell phone (not get as estatic when someone i want to call me calls/not get as disappointed when someone i don't want to call me calls), to get get dictated by what others say, do, appear to think about me and other people..also a big one, to not take things so personally/not be as sensitive, to stop doing some things that're addictive, be less nervous/anxious, "SUCKAS BEWARE: KAGAN FIGHTS DRAGONS." hmm, try not to overthink/overanalyze things, try to remember things better, always to my homework/try to get better grades, take more photos/come into the darkroom before or after school (probably after), stay focused in class, try to voice my opinions less when usually i'd be obnoixsly vocal/ try to talk more when usually i'd be silent.. i'm going to try to do what i wanted to get done before the new year.. i'll think of more to add to the list, though no one is reading this except me so i'm just promising myself.
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