myOtaku.com: Arcadia

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Birthday
• 1985-05-14
Gender
• Female
Location
• Tallahassee/Orlando
Member Since
• 2003-09-02
Real Name
• Meg

myOtaku.com: Arcadia

Thursday, September 23, 2004

God is just a mean kid with a magnifying glass.

Today has pretty much sucked. Italian is not going the way I want it to. I don't know if I'm just not studying enough or if my tiny brain is just unable to absorb all this foreign crap, but I'm just not doing as well as I should be and that pisses me off. When I'm not doing something very well, then I don't want to do it at all, and that makes it even worse. I'm sure that my anxiety over this class isn't helping the whole major related problem at all.

To add to the loveliness, my throat hurts. As in, here are the first signs that in a few days, you'll probably be sick. My sister has got something like this, and so does one of our friends, so I can't say I'm surprised that it eventually got around to me. But damn it, I don't want to be sick! I have too much to worry about as it is!

And on top of all this, I found out today that one of my sister's friends has cancer. Fucking cancer. He's only 18. How is that fair at all? How has anything about this whole, god damn month been fair? How can somebody so young get something so fucking horrible like that?

From what little I know about it, it's in his lymphnodes, and if it doesn't get really bad and active, he could be on chemo for maybe 8 months, tops. But if something goes wrong... well, I don't even want to think about that.

I just don't understand. What the hell did I do? What am I paying for? Somebody must really hate me somewhere. The thing is, I'm slowly slipping over from depression into homicidal rage. I am pissed off and I'm tired of all this shit happening to me and to the people I care about.

God fucking damn it.

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