myOtaku.com: Arcadia

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1985-05-14
Gender
• Female
Location
• Tallahassee/Orlando
Member Since
• 2003-09-02
Real Name
• Meg

myOtaku.com: Arcadia

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

You could have believed in me, baby.
On iTunes: "Into The Night" Say Anything

I've been listening to love songs all night long. Okay, some of them make pretty fishy love songs, I'll admit it, but still. If a boy ever said some of those lyrics to me, I just don't know what I would do. Well, yes, I do. I would jump him, in a heart beat. But I guess it's not reallly about a boy - it's about the boy and so far he just hasn't come along.

I'm not looking for true love. I don't think it really exists, at least not in the context that people think of it. That true love is instantaneous and idealistic and is a really crappy standard for the rest of us who live in the real world. To me, true love is the kind of love that's been tested and strengthened and worked on for years and years.

I would like to get married one day. It took me a while to get to this state, and even still I have a lot of plans before anything like that can come into play. But I would like it to happen. It's nerve-racking to think that it might not happen because I don't think I can spend my entire life alone.

And I'm going to be twenty in May and probably will have not dated anybody for more than a week still, heh. I don't have a problem with this, really. Right now I feel like I'm too much of a novelty to the guys around me, if that makes any sense. I'm too strange and different and focused. I could be wrong, it's happened before. But I feel like I kind of scare them away. And I guess that's all right because at least then I know that the guys who do step up to bat are there to play some serious ball.

I think part of it is also just the atmosphere here at FSU. I honestly don't feel very at home here. Yes, it's my school and I live here and I have lots of friends, but I still feel like it's not for me. This is one of the many reasons I can't wait for London. I need things to be put into focus, and I guess I'm partially afraid that if I get into anything before that happens it'll be obsolete or it'll just complicate things too much.

Did I mention I have committment problems? Because I do. I don't want to lose myself. And yet if a guy can come along and take the challenge, then I might give myself away. Secretly I just really want somebody else to take the wheel and drive for a while. Is that too much to ask?

Comments (5)

« Home

Anime | How to Draw Anime | Anime Wallpapers

Top of Page